h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I want Terran's help with you unholy lot

Unholy?

I pride myself on it maam.

Good, that's what I like to see

Really? So why are you complaining about us?

I want to see what you're made of

*holds up *

Obviously more than the security in this place

Ah, my cuffs

* Aries to the chair*

*pulls his hand out of the handcuffs*

Having small hands is a curse sometimes. A curse on people who try to arrest me.

Not a problem!
*gets out hacksaw*
We'll soon have those hands out of the way and replaced with something bigger that will allow for greater cuff-ability!

*hides hands and runs out of the room*

I have some large nails and a hammer if you need them Reefy

I have some nail-clippers if you need them Ralph

Thanks Ralph, but I don't want to give him a messiah complex just yet

This is like shoot out at the ok corale! All my best officers in a fight off to the death... what a tragedy...oh the agony... oh...erm has anyone got any popcorn?

Rimmer my oldest serving senior officer, Aries the exciting prospect, Nova the galactic, Reefgirl the old war horse, and Ralph... well frankly the insane...

This is the most fun I've had in ages

Hmm, messiah complex. Sounds painful. And besides we don't have any spare wood.

WARHORSE!!!!!!!!!!

*Doing her best Margaret Houlihan impression*

I'll give you warhorse

*Grabs the whip off the wall and cracks it across terran's @ss*

Can me and Reefgirl exchange titles?

Yes I had a nasty itch there... Margaret... Thatcher? *Shudders*

Okay Aries... you're now the exciting horse, and Reef is the old war prospect... erm thats right isn't it?

EXCITING HORSE!!!!!

I like Reefgirl's new title though

"Oldest serving senior officer"!
*gets out walker*
Bring it on bitch!