h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I want to be remembered in a way that is far more kind than how I am thought of today. OR, I want my epitaph to read something totally ridiculous. More ridiculous than the unbelieveable garbage that has been said about me in life.
The past year has absolutely been the worst year I have ever lived through, and I have sometimes thought it would be nice to be able to start all over again, in another life. (No! I do not mean that I wish I were dead.)
Having been falsely accused of child abuse and neglect has nearly destroyed me. I have seven children, and have made it my life work to raise healthy, well adjusted, emotionally strong, functional children. And, aside from the same minor mistakes that other 'normal' parents have made, I believe that I have succeeded in doing a darn good job. I do believe, however, that as a single parent, I have been a more visible target for some people, as it is often part of the human condition to fear what we know nothing about. And, single parents are often the subject of much 'speculation', when it comes to things like morality, conduct, spiritual beliefs, child discipline, and addictions.
I mean, since I AM a single parent with 'so many children', I must be (according to community gossip) a drunken, abusive, neglectful, whore, who does not want to become a 'functional' member of society. It has not mattered to those in charge of the gossip, that my oldest daughter, and my 9 year old son, have genius I.Q.'s, that my visually impaired son, along with my remaining four children, have consistently gotten 90's in school, that people who have been in our home have said that they thoroughly enjoy the atmosphere and feel totally relaxed and welcome, and that everyone is happy, healthy, and enjoy being together.
So, enough ranting about the present. It is the purpose here to speak about our closing words.
Like I have said, I hope to be remembered more kindly in death, than in life. Perhaps I could receive the medal my friends say I deserve, for being so remarkable a person. (Yes! I do get some kind words.)
I have made sure to speak with my children regarding what is to happen when I die. They are aware that I hope to be celebrated, rather than mourned. Instead of a gloomy funeral, I want them to have a big party (without alcohol), where everyone can stand-up and say something nice about me, or remember their favorite time they have had with me. I want them to have nothing but upbeat music. Perhaps an ecclectic assortment of Irish drinking music, 80's pop, 60's hippy classics, and 50's hop. There should be dancing, singing, story telling, and lots of laughter.
I wish to be cremated, and have my remains placed in an urn, inscribed with my name in heiroglyphics, with my date of birth, and date of death. My children could then take the remains to a beautiful forest, and scatter them, finally setting me free and allowing me to be at peace.
Life can be very hard, as I am accutely aware. I don't want my family to feel that my death would be anything but the next natural phase of my life. I would hope they would cherish the good, be thankful for the blessings, laugh at the ridiculous, and be able to heal from any lingering hurts. I don't want to be responsible for anyone having regrets connected to my life.
Perhaps the eulogy that should be read, should start out.... "There once was a lady from....." At least people might get a final chance to laugh at me.

Sounds like a [dead] mother to be proud of!!

There once was a lady from heaven
Who mothered no less than seven
And thru all her strife
She taught them that life
could sometimes be one short of a dozen.

In a world full of scandal and lies
She raised them to be real nice guys
This lesson they learned
And when she was burned
They scattered her back to the skies.


peace
~jwf~

Thank You!
I am glad to say that just yesterday, the Child 'Protection' Workers closed the file on my family.
Now I am going public, with the support of my local political representative, with my story. It will certainly prove to be interesting, as I fully expect retaliation for my choice, from the agency that goofed up so very badly. (They're not going to like it.)
Please keep us in your thoughts.
Karen.

Thank You!
I read this, and started to cry. It is very kind.
I am happy to say that the Child 'Protection' Workers closed the file on my family, just yesterday!
Now comes the real test. I have decided to go public, with the support of our local political representative, to tell my story. I am hoping to help prevent other innocent parents from going through everything we have gone through. Our situation is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg, and already I have experienced some intimidations to not tell my story.
Please keep us in your thoughts.
Karen

Your only fault is that you didn't have 2.4 children like everybody else, and there fore are judged on the basis of your diversity. I don't have kids and I'm probably not going to have any in the near future, but I admire your strength, because raising seven kids sure does take a lot of energy. (All of my friends who have children look like they will need an obituary soon...)

I will remember your story. I definitely will You go, girl!

Well done Keep us posted on developments, and congratulations for succeeding in your perseverance!

Thank You!
I thoroughly appreciate your words of encouragement.
I am happy to say that our file has been closed, as of two days ago, and I feel like 50lbs. has been lifted off of my shoulders.
Now the real test starts, as I am going public with my story, with the support of our local political representative.
Please keep us in your thoughts.
Karen

Hi
I'm sure I will be writing about the upcoming events in many postings to come. (What an egotist I am!)
Life here never gets boring, and I have always wanted to be a writer, and an actor, so I guess this forum is kind of a substitute for 'real' fame.
Anyway, for now I think I will take a short break, and try to gather my wits, and my strength. Even my kids need some time to heal, and with so many of them, I have to be extra diligent with giving each of them the time they need.
Talk to you again sometime!
Karen

If you dare to differ you are a target. Different does not mean being a single-parent, or having more than 3 children (though it helps.) Different means not subscribing to the views of your neighbours. Different means making a stand for what you believe in, be it religous, social, or political.

In an era of disposable values to maintain your own is to be a target.

When someone mentions social services - cause aint far behind.

Hi!
I believe that our system of "Social Welfare" has gotten to the point of being not just a form of 'Socialism', but has gone off the deep end toward 'Communism'. Socialism does things for 'the good of all', and when found to be in error, admits to the need for change, makes amends, and alters their way of doing things so as to not make the same mistake. Their purpose is not to use ideas as clubs to beat people up, but to make things better for all. Communism says the good of all doesn't matter. It is the good of one, or two, that counts. Don't confuse them with the truth, their mind is made up. Communism will bully people into admitting wrongs they have not committed, as Communism is never wrong, and is justified in persecuting anyone they see fit. The end justifies the means, so to speak. (See "Hitler".)
Unfortunately, there are no checks in place, to make those given the authority to 'protect children in need', and therefore the system shows no accountability. Since there is virtually no public input, or public forum of discussion regarding these issues, the "Social Services" departments have become a law unto themselves, that do everything to justify their own existance, whether they have done the right thing, or not.
In my case, 'the Department' tried to bully me into admitting that I had done wrong, which was not the truth, as 'the Department' had no evidence to justify their apprehending (kidnapping) my children in the first place. Every evidence pointed to the truth that I was NOT an abusive, or neglectful parent, but 'the Department' had to justify their actions in any way they could, so as to not appear 'wrong'.
I look forward to posing the question of... "What would the taxpayers say about the tens of thousands of their tax dollars spent on wrongfully persecuting me, when there are many children who actually DO need protection, and do not receive it?"
It should be an interesting few years for me, as I am sure the issues will not be dealt with promptly. That is, unfortunately, the way of things in our society.
I will be very vocal for the "Opposition" (opposing political party) in our province, in the next election, as our current Government is not dealing with the need for change, as strongly as it should be. It is kind of an issue that gets swept under the rug, as not being a savory enough one.
What people do not know, however, can hurt them. And, what happened to us, can very easily happen to anyone. Most people don't realize how easily.
Karen

It's gone beyond 'Communism' (in the nasty way I think you mean it) all the way round to Fascism.

A couple of days ago I heard of a child who was removed from his classroom by two burly cops and one witchy social worker and taken to a police station while they arranged temporary foster care. They had grabbed the wrong child of course.

The kid protested, insisted they had got it wrong. Denying the name they tried to 'book him' as and giving his proper and real name only convinced them he was a troubled child and he ended up in a cell.

Meanwhile, the parents were going nuts looking for their lost kid. And getting very little help from police.

Because 'the system' functions only to serve itself, a perfectly innocent kid has been thoroughly freaked and traumatised by the 'police process'. And it happens every day.

The reasons are probably the same as in your case. Prejudice, stereotyping, and indifference by people who are 'only following orders' and 'only trying to do the right thing'.

peace
~jwf~

Ai!!!
Yes, the situation is gettin out of hand, not just in this[refering to the social 'service'], but in many ways, many problems all over the world.
People are extreamly adaptable, which is a good thing, but it also allows them to become used to pain and suffering, it's amazing the stuff that people can accept as "just the way things are".
A lot of problems appear so simple, untill you realize that you're dealing with humans, and /nothing/ is simple with them...

Never the less, perhaps the future can be bright, my friends, it's up to us after all...

Thanks for your wonderful input!
I have noted this story, so I can relate it to my MLA. It won't be used as a definite truth, as I do not personally know of the story, but it can be used in illustration of the widespread incompetance and self-justification used by such agencies.
Karen

Fond Greetings
It seems a pity that I should have to go onto the internet to receive support for something as tragic as this. It would be nice to be able to talk about it in my own community, but the truth of the matter is that everyone here has heard the gossip, and has pre-judged me as being guilty. Rural communities are terrible for that. I always say that if I ever forget what I am supposed to be doing on any given day, I should simply ask one of my neighbors, as they obviously know everything I am up to, before I leave the house.
I truly appreciate your comments and support.
Please keep us in your thoughts, as we will be facing a lot of opposition in the coming days.
Karen

Karen, one of the best things about the Internet is that it puts you in touch with real people with real lives, and you never know where support may come from. I can only speak for myself, but you have mine, although it's only symbolic because I don't make much difference. I'll think of you. I'm sure you'll come out on top.

Love,
Greta_9

Wonderful!
I am very happy and honored to have the support and friendship that you, and others like you, are giving!
I find this internet stuff totally fascinating, as it seems it opens people up to speaking about things they wouldn't, or couldn't, speak of otherwise.
I can say, with total honesty, that I am having barrels of fun.
Karen

Hello, Karen - Barney just bumbling through to leave a note and disappear again. You have my total support, too. Social Services seem to think they are the only ones capable and qualified to raise a child. Unfortunately, too many of them are childless, and have no idea what they are talking about.

Hang in there - they have to be stopped. As for the gossips, ignore them! In your own grand scheme of things - they don't count at all. Seven kids!! Your home must be such fun! I have one - now grown - and he was a wonderful handful.

Bumbling Barney.... cute!
Thank you for your wonderful support!
One of the unfortunate things about 'Social Services', is that this agency creates such irresponsibility in the youth they 'claim' to protect. We have among us, a generation of children that are so wise to the fact that all they have to do is go and tell a teacher that 'Mom or Dad hit them', and they are removed from their home, whether or not it is true. POOF!
That was what had happened to me. My own daughter had been GROUNDED by me - for a month, for smoking, drinking, doing pot, and leaving without permission - with people I did not know. She didn't like the fact that I was protecting her, and went to the police with a couple of those same disgusting people, and said that I had 'smashed her head into a wall, punched her in the kidneys, pushed her down the stairs, and threatened her life if she talked about it to anyone'.
The head of our local RCMP detachment finally noticed, however, that these same kids had been doing this to other parents, and that my daughter's name had come up as a supposed 'witness' to these acts of violence by other parents. He told both the 'Prosecutor' in charge of the criminal investigation against me, AND 'Social Services' that it was his personal opinion that ours was simply a case of a rebellious child trying to get out from having to abide by the rules of the home. Although the Prosecutor finally closed the case, due to a 'lack of supporting evidence', Social Services' mind was made up. I was pronounced GUILTY by them (they are a law unto themselves, which actually makes them a CULT), for doing something I DID NOT DO, and lost the rest of my children for three months. (The daughter that did this was gone for eight months).
I was court-ordered to undergo psychiatric evaluations (which came out squeeky clean), alcohol evaluations (also squeeky clean), anger management, and twice-weekly counseling, (all at my own expense, as it was my actions[?] that gave reason for the need for such orders[?] to be enacted).
When Social Services closed our file last week, I was clearly told, again, that.... "I had given them reason to apprehend my children, and it would be erroneous of them to say that what we had gone through was unnecessary. They saw a need to protect my children, so they did.".... (???????)
The fortunate thing about that meeting, was that the children's father was there, and he witnessed the statements made. He is going to support my story publicly, as he knows the truth of everything that has happened. It also happens, in this case, that Social Services neglected to contact the children's father, and request that the children go into HIS care for a time. Instead, the children were all seperated from one another, and even their father was not allowed to see them, for six weeks. (I never got to see them for almost seven, and when we did see them, it was closely supervised by 'the Department'. How degrading it was!)
But, 'the Department' still maintains that they did what was necessary to benefit the family. And, that THEY MADE ME "BETTER". (I do nothing differently as a loving parent now, than I did before.)
Again..... ????????? .....
Please keep us in your thoughts. We need the positive energy.
And feel free to relate my story to anyone interested.
Karen

Wow... My own story pales by comparison... My sympathies to everyone who has experienced such events; I hope they're worth something...

Anyway, I'm a 15-year-old with clinical depression and High-Functioning Autism - legitimate diagnoses, unlike the hundreds of kids who get prescribed Ritalin for no good reason. Once upon a time I forgot to take some medication, and by coincidence happened to have a particularly rough day at school, and did some things I now regret (the self-harmful actions which will go unspecified were rather worse than intentional paper cuts, but nowhere near suicide) but which *nobody* save the police officers involved felt deserved police intervention. (The other students were actually egging me on, but that's a different story) By the time my parents arrived (WHY DIDN'T THEY CALL THEM SOONER? ) I was sobbing in a corner over all the trouble I'd caused (among other things) and the officer at the school was preparing to drive me to the local mental hospital in a straitjacket. My parents, who have had many years of experience with my sometimes erratic behavior, talked him out of the straitjacket , but I still had to visit the hospital, although we were informed that we would probably only be there for about one hour. Surprise, surprise! The official policy of the hospital was that anyone admitted may not escape prior to a 72-hour suicide watch and an official review by the local psychiatrists! What an exciting, enjoyable, three days in the loony bin (no offense intended to anyone who genuinely needs psychiatric help) assigned by a public employee whose job is to protect me!

Anyway, the review went fine, and I got out in three days (just to add insult to injury, all this began on a Friday, so I missed the weekend) but still felt that this was worth repeating. I've heard stories of kids in similar situations who made the mistake of getting themselves in trouble the day before a holiday vacation, and wound up missing all 12 days of Christmas before getting out.

This is just a kid's perspective. It's not like you adults have _all_ the fun...