h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Behind the hillock and beyond the range of hearing, the Reverend Lovejello continues to pray silently. He pulls out his Bible, and a small, hard, green, glistening thing falls from his pocket onto the ground. He stares at it blankly for a second before a familiar scent reminds him what of what it is, and he picks it up.*

The Test Mint! Oh thank Jello!

*Looks back and forth between Jesse and the Reverend. Slowly lowers his sword.*

Well, okay, Jesse. You're the head honcho. But I still say there is something funny going on here.

*Turns to the lady*

Ma'am. Where might you be going. Do you need an escort?

*Nods to the preacher.*

Okay, I'll be off then.

*Gallops off towards the pass.*

*Looks at Sherry.*

Looks like you kin have yer choice a'eskirts. I'm a goin' through the pass. If you's wants ter come with me, I won' mind cuz a lady'll help convince the posse I ain't up ter no good... I means only up ter good. An' cuz you is purdy.

*Sherry blushes slightly and looks torn. This whole time she has been wondering what is wrong with the Reverend*

But... the will...

*A shrewd look comes into her eye as she remembers something said back in Peta Gulch*

Reverend, where was it that yew met me?

*Having been in many such situations, Hardjello knows that the next questions will be "and what was I wearing" and "what color are my eyes" and "have you been listening to a word I've said" and it would lead to "you don't really love me" and "momma was right," and then he would have to shoot her. Since he is dressed as a reverend, that would be unseemly, so he decides to divert the situation.*



*Heads off into the pass.*

Looks like it's just you and me, Senorita.

Fortunately for you, I am a gentlejello and would not take advantage of a defenceless women. I will ride with you to the ranch, to protect you from others who may not be so, er, restrained.

*Leads Sherry towards the ranch.*

*Sherry, now suspicious of Zello but hiding it well, follows cautiously*

Why, thank yew, kind sir. Ah just wish Ah had the will...

*Unnoticed Sherry drops a decorative hairpin on the ground, hoping the Reverend will see it when he gets back to being the Reverend she knows and not that suspicious swearing preacher*

*Tucks the Test Mint safely into his pocket, says one more quick prayer, mounts his horse, and feeling much calmer returns to the pasture.*

I fear I must apologize for my terrib...

*Notices Sherry and Zello are gone. Sees a lone hairpin in the grass. Picks it up.*

Very good eyes, no?

What could be the meaning of this? What could have caused her to drop it? I only left her for a moment with that gentlema...

Rogue! Ruffian! Oh Jello forgive me for what I am about to do! If he has harmed her...

*Dashes off.*

*All three end up at the Ranchhouse - the Reverend somehow getting there first.* http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/classic/F91033?thread=186498&latest=1

Passion knows no bounds. At least it knows no temporal/spatial bounds.

*Rides into the pasture from the pass, heading towards the Ranch buildings.*

*Bonnie follows GL*

Aren't the wild meadow flowers beautiful? Look at all the and

Once everything is safe around here, it would be a lovely spot for an Atelier picnic.

When this rescue is all said and done, Caer, you should consider opening a catering business.

*bounce bounce bounce*

I would put on far too much weight if you did. *Trot, Trot* Should be through this field here fairly soon. I do hope Lil is okay whereever she has holed up.

*On the far western edge of the pasture, some movement can be detected. The movement seems to get closer to the posse. A cloud of dust begins to rise above the movement and the ground begins to vibrate a little. As the cloud gets larger and the ground shakes more, the movement gets closer and individual shapes start to define themselves. As it gets closer still, it reveals itself to be a herd of Gnus. Stampeding. Straight at the posse. With Apes behind, driving them on.*

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

Bonnie! A herd of gnus!

*the huge Clydesdale executed a neat 180 turn to avoid the herd that was bearing down on her path at right angles. With an amazing turn of speed Bonnie had her riders safely out of harm's way as the stampeding herd careered past*



Are you all right, Witty? That was a narrow escape!

How is everyone else? I can't se through the dust kicked up the things.

Well done Bonnie

*leans forward and hugs the horse's neck*

*The apes manage to turn the herd and send it back towards the posse, but the Gnus are tired and instead of stampeding, they walk. They make their way in amongst the posse, then discover that the posse is centred on a particularly suculent piece of pasture. The Gnus mill about amongst and around the posse, severely hampering their progress. Getting free of the herd will be like wading through jello.

The Apes gallop off, laughing.*

*cough* *cough*



There appears to be an awful amount of dust and an exotic smell here chaps. What in the blue blazes is it and whats that odd mooing-snorting sound I can hear ?

I sure wish Zeppo was a herding dog -- and I sure wish he was here. We seem to have gotten separated again.

/* Pushes against a gnu. It doesn't budge. Tries to kick it where it counts. It doesn't budge. */

Hey! This gnu is a eunuch!