h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Weakening*

Zeke! What are you doing there? I can't see a thing and someone just challenged me. I must give account of myself. Just point me at her and I'll do the rest.

*Tugs at the arrow in his leg with his free hand.*

*looks towards the ranchhouse, distracted again*

Hey - there *is* a circus going on!

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*contemplates, rather gleefully, darting in and carving an S into Zello's chest, but feels that might be a bit unfair in veiw of his incapacitation*

Surrender now, and I'm sure T will put the fire out!!

And you, too, Zeke, or whatever your name is, Surrender and we call the dogs off...

*Wonders how to do that...*

*turns around hearing Sol's last remark*

Oh, I'm sure I have a package of Swedish meatballs in some pocket somewhere... *begins digging*

*Hears the voice that challenged him and swings around to face it.*


The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on then.


*Momentarily startled by the english accent issuing from his own mouth, Zello clears his throat and takes a fencers stance, almost, but not quite, facing Sol. Red, melted jello slowly begins to run from around the flaming arrows. Zello's sword tip wavers slightly.*

*once again distracted by what's going on over at the ranchhouse*

*applauds GL*

No need for meatballs, I've got the steak bombs. I can throw one away from Zeke, if he surrenders. The dogs will follow.

*suddenly Zeke's arm comes off in Tidbit's mouth leaving the Pug looking very surprised and very delighted at the same time*

*Zeke looks a little surprised but regains his composure quickly*



Heck it's only a flesh wound. Ah've had wurse. Come on then you kin do better than that ! Show me whut yur've really got.

Drop it Tidbit! Dirty! Yuck! Drop it!

Well, if you insist...

*tactfully shifts round abit until she is facing Zello more directly before taking her own fighting stance...

Engages rather halfheartedly in a few delicate thrusts...*

Look, are you sure you want to do this, I mean, melting and all?

*goes to throw his knife at Solnushka but realises it's in the hand which is attached to the arm which is still being chewed on by Tidbit*

Dang !

*draws his Colt with his other hand (which is really awkward since it is on the other side of his belt) and aims it a little unsteadily at Solnushka*

Now hold it thar little lady ! Thats mah pardner yer fixing on kebabing

Hold it right the-

*looks down, notices the dress she's wearing*



Excuse me while I go changing..

*disappears*

Hold it right there, you low life scum!

*aims bow and arrow at Zekejello*

So - you like to play '2 against 1' eh? And two males against one female at that!

*points his Colt at Titania then Solnushka then Titania then Solnushka, etc*

I know what you're thinking girls. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being this is a Colt Peacemaker, the most powerful handgun in the west, and would blow your head clean off, you got to ask yourself one question ... do I feel lucky. Well, do ya?

Always!

You are aware that your partner there is slowly dying unless you do something, aren't you?

*continues to point bow and arrow at Zekejello*

*looks at Zello and shrugs*

Yer fergit ah'm a Jello - mean, low down and gud fer nuthin'. Ah reckon ole Zello's a gonner anyway so ah don't give a fig

Now put that bow down and behave.

Nope! *pig-headed as usual*

Ruppy! Tidbit! Attack! *points at Zello*

*forgetting she was holding the arrow, which shoots off*

*the arrow flies straight and true and takes Zekes other arm off just above the elbow. As it falls into the dust Ruppy changes direction in mid-charge and feeling jealous that Tidbit already has an arm grabs the juicy morsel and runs off with it*

Well dang mah britches. Ah just don't believe that happened. Now yew have got me really mad now

*Zeke runs up to Titania and kicks her really hard *

*Zello flails about with his sword, inadvertently deflecting Sol's thrusts.*

Aha! I don't even need to see! Surrender, before I cut you up for fajitas.

*Zello stumbles and falls. He struggles to his feet, but gets turned around in the process. With his back to Sol, he continues his taunts.*

I may be injured and blinded, but you're still no match for me. Where are you? Have you run away in fear?

*Zello's melting leg gives way and he sinks to one knee.*

Come on, I can still fight!

*Zello hears Tidbit worrying at Zeke's arm and mistakes it for Sol.*

Aha! There you are.

*With the last "swish", Zello keels over. His fall to the ground shifts his mask again so that the eye holes are back in front of his eyes. In front of his gaze is Tidbit, with a perfect "Z" cut into his fur. Zello smiles hugely, then coughs and dies a happy jello.*

*dances around a bit then darts in and boots Titania in the rear*

Come on then you pansy it's only a scratch ..... do your worse I can take it !