h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*fires an arrow at Zekejello, but gets distracted by the noise from outside*

*looks out of barn towards ranchhouse*

There seems to be some kind of circus performance going on!

/* Covers his nose and staples an ape */

*having emptied the last remaining contents of his stomach on the ground (beans curiously enough), Zeke - still faintly nauseous - is surprised when his hat suddenly is whipped off the top of his head by an elf-arrow*

*after wiping his mouth with his kerchief, the Jello Ranch foreman pulls out an evil looking knife and an evil looking pearl handled revolver and with an evil look in his eye crawls on his belly towards Titania and the barn in the most evil way he can manage*

*leans out of window, shouting towards the Ranchhouse*

Try twisting it's tail, GL - I once saw a man stop a camel that way, but be careful, it would probably stop very suddenly - I know the camel did, and I almost took a dive over its head!

/* Sits stunned for a moment from seeing Zekejello use his handkerchief. */

I would have thought he would use his sleeve! Could these Jello's be civilized?



Nah!

/* Fires his stapler at Zeke */

*the pugs see Zekejello and come to the obvious conclusion - anyone lying on the ground clearly wants to play! They charge towards their new playmate, barking maddly.* Wooowooowooo!!!

*Carmel peaks over the edge of the little red wagon*

Um...Girls? Where are we going?

*Zeke's kerchief is knocked out of his hand by a large calibre staple which pins it to the side of the now wrecked war wagon next to his hat*

now thart aint' farr ! Thart wus mah only kerchief and it's been in mah family fer six generations without seeing sight of a wash tub. Yer'l pay fer that salonista !

*carries on crawling*

Carmel, unlike the pugs, knows a bad thing when she sees it, and she wants no part of Zekejello. There is no way to stop the pugs, so she leans out and releases the girl's harnesses. They race away, intent on fun and games. The little red wagon rolls to a stop. Carmel is nowhere to be seen, she seems to have toppled out*

Ruppy - Wooofnerf, noof noof noof! (I know, we can play grap his arms just like the big dogs we saw on Animal Planet(tm))

Tidbit - Fnegglen nark, foow! (Cool, you break right, I'll take the left!)

*The pugs close with their quarry.*

*yet again distracted, this time by the pugs and the little red wagon*

Look at them - how cute!

*suddenly sees where the pugs are heading*

Ooops! Zekejello!

*pulls head in, ducks*

/* Tucks his stapler away and grabs a steak bomb */

It doesn't look like I'll need this, but just in case.

*watches Zello make a dash for the war wagon*
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*prepares a new arrow, waits*

*Runs towards the barn from the direction of the ranchhouse. Trips over a little red wagon and goes sprawling on the ground.*

Oooooof!

*The fall causes his mask to shift around on his head, so that it effectively blindfolds him.*

I can't see! I'm blind!

*He stands up and stumbles forward, one hand clawing at his eyes, the other dragging his sword.*

*forty-five some odd pounds of rather oversized toy dogs clamber onto Zekejello's back. Ruppy, always one to go for the highest point, continues on to his head, knocking Zeke's hat off.*

Woo griggle woo! (Gotcha!)

*The pugs climb down Zeke's shoulders and attempt to pin his wrists with play-bites.*

*shoots an arrow at stumbling Zello*

*tries to aim at Zekejello, but is afraid to hit the pugs*

*fires another arrow at Zello*

*watches Zello fumble for his sword and... could this be the right moment to...

Grasps the handle of her parasol and pulls, revealing a long sword stick whatsit...

Creeps silently towards Zello... and...*

On Guard!

*Zeke is blinded by the writhing, licking mass of playful Pug that is pulling off his horsehair toupee in the mistaken belief that it is a hat*

Gerrof you damned varmint, leave me be - I'm a mean minded son of a gun not a dawgs tug toy ! Gerroff damn you !

*Ruppy forgets all about Zeke's arm as she begins to worry the toupee.*

Riggle ruggle riggle ruggle! (Wow, this thing is really disgusting! We just goota take it home!)

Grrrr! (Tidbit cannot respond as she has a mouth full of Zeke's wrist)

*Titania's arrows find their mark in Zello's leg and chest. The green flames start to do their work.*

Ow! Ow Ow Ow!

*Hears the en guarde and raises his sword in the direction that he heard the sound. Takes a few swipes in that general direction.*

*Zeke watches his hair being dragged away and worried by a pug and being distracted by another of the pugs attached to his wrist he wanders too close to Zello and is struck by his sword*

Ow !! whut in the heck wus that fer !