h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: School Food - A720424
Author: Keeper of Squeaky Rubber Duckies and Other Assorted Squeaky Toys - U191832

made by a friend

Could possibly do with being a little less subjective, but there's the basis there for a fun Entry.

I recall the popular schoolyard chant (to the tune of Frere Jacques):

"School Dinners, school dinners,
Concrete chips, concrete chips,
Soggy semolina, soggy semolina,
I feel sick, toilet quick,
It's too late, I've done it on my plate..."

Don't know why that stuck in the mind - we always had excellent school dinners at my school.

Jimster

May I suggest inclusion of the piece about school food from the first of the Molesworth books by Geoffrey Willans and Ronald Searle - 'Down With Skool', which begins "Aktually whatever boys may sa about skool food the moment deaf master sa lord make us truly ect. whole skool descend upon food with roar like an H bomb and in 2 minutes all hav been swept bare."

Very subjective.

You might want to include some outline of procedure:
The trays with the depressions for the differen courses (the depressions always being too small).
The scraping of leftovers into a bowl.
The fact that alot of teenagers preferre to stand outside a papershop in the rain rather than eat any of the food on offer at school.

That type of thing.

Researcher PSG

i was under the impression that yuou had to speak in third person. no I's . and I also don't know for sure but I don't think the thing on the bottum moving is allowed.
sorry for all the negativity but i always get it when i add an entry. Just thought I would pass on the infoJust consider it constructive cridisium.

Is the author of this one still about? I see the makings of a fine, odd entry here, t'would be a shame to let it languish....

He's being kept busy. I live near him, so as much I believe the nagging process will begin. He will be thrilled to know it could work.

roachtripchick is right, Goose. Entries need to be in the third person, so if you want this to be in the Edited guide, you will need to amend the entry.

I don't know which school you go to, however there are stringent regulations as to what schools can and can't do. What you appear to be describing would seem to contravene environmental health laws. I'm fairly sure that food can't just be taken away and reheated, which is what you appear to be implying.

Schools have really tight budgets on food. I pay £1.30 a day for meals for my primary school child. Imagine having to provide a main course and pudding for that and pay the staff!

PS: I liked Gosho's suggestion for the quote. I also agree with Jimster about school dinners. My own memories are good, and my son's school is also good. Some schools I've eaten at recently have been *really* good. I suppose it depends on what school you go to, and I don't think your experience is necessarily representative.

Where as the food at my own school was so awful (and given that I eat anything that's saying something) around 80% of us had packed lunches! I think what Goose is describing is legit, if it does makes for nasty food- Not simply taking food away and re-heating it, but taking what no-one's chosen, not the leftovers off plates, and using it to create another dish, ie cabbage and potato that is left in the dishes has egg added to it, is re-cooked and fried to become bubble and squeak the next day. An admirable sentiment as far as not wasting goes- pretty objectionable to the taste buds.

My own over-riding memory is of chips that taste of chese- something to do with the way the oil is fined and recycled I think.

my college was great at this.

'gammon' which was really the same as the ham they served, just heated up, would then be used the next days the topping for ham and pineapple pizza. guess where they got the pineapple from!



at junior shool we had a rota and so those who went into lunch last did rotate but it was always a day we dreaded. there was never much left and rarely any choice. i normally ended up with half a bread roll, some mashed potato on top of it, a little luncheon meat on top of that and the whole thing soaked in vinegar on those days.

pudding was good though. there was always a coice, they came in little glass dishes and ther was always jelly. yum. but not very filling.

FABT

I'm sure that Goose's experience is legitimate and I wasn't implying that it wasn't. However Edited Guide entries are supposed to be balanced and at the moment, this one isn't.

true, but i've been at work since 7.10 GMT and only got in 5 minutes ago, so i wasnt really thinking about taht side of things.

no its not balenced
yes its funny
yes it would be great if it can be titivated enough to get in.

the end
goodnight





FABT

Rubber Ducky Keeper: what's the word? You feel like modifying this entry any? For it to be an appropriate Edited Guide entry, you'll need to include quite a bit more actual information, and less subjectivity.

The actual data behind preparing and serving school food will put people to sleep faster than math class after lunch. This is a fun entry - but won't help anybody who actually wants some facts about school food.

Unless Keeper feels like doing some rewriting, I would recommend moving this to the WW. Scouts, any seconds? (Second serving of chicken a la king with recycled peas, perhaps? Yum, yum!)

There would be no point in sending it to the WW if the author isn't interested in doing anything with it.

looks like neither Mystrunner nor the Keeper are subscribed to this thread any more.

'Keeper of Rubber Duckies' -- that's MY title!

Yup. Might as well move it to the FM, if nobody wants to adopt it.

I agree with Lentilla - nice odd little entry which could be a really unique addition to the guide with a little more work and fleshing out - anyone else fancy a go?

As it's an un-owned piece, I'll second the move to the FM.