h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I personally believe that both parties are equally responsible when it comes to contraception.

I don't carry a condom in my wallet because it does smack slightly of presumptuousness in a boy scout "be prepared" kind of way, although having said that I do keep a stock at home although I have to say I really don't like them. Admittedly I'd rather be wrapped up than suffer the consequences but as I've said, the whole contraception thing works both ways.

My most recent excursion found me back at hers. As things got carried away I mentioned that I hadn't been a boy-scout in my youth. She promptly rummaged in a nearby recepticle and upon finding that for which she rummaged, she obliged and proceeded to put it on (me that is, not her). As I've said, I don't like the things and although I could tell that for all her fumblings the foil wrapper was still intact, I wasn't going to complain.

Perhaps it was silly, perhaps it was irresponsible but we were both sober, we were both aware of the risks. (More to the point, perhaps, we were both equally gagging for unrestrained lovin'!) The "Do it once and roll over" School has never appealed to me. Once I've got that far there is so much to explore and so much to make the most of, that (please don't take this as being boastful as it's not meant to be) I tend to battle on for as long as I can ... where there's a will there's a way and when that way and only physical exhaustion can stop it. Condoms are like traffic jams in many ways; they're a hastle to be stuck in so if someone offers you an alternative route (a bad pun which could easily be misconstrued) then I say take it - but that is just my view. The alternative route in this case was the fact that I'd noticed she was on the Pill. Would I have been quite so easy to sway if I hadn't noted this particular fact?
Who knows, probably not if the truth be known.

So, it's definitely a two way thing - she knew full well that I wasn't protected and was willing to risk it, and I knew full well that I wasn't, but I too was willing to risk it.

I have to admit it was almost certainly foolish, but life is too short for regrets. 3 1/2 years in a long term relationship in which the Pill was in use from about month 2, lead to an unquenchable desire for spontaneous sex whenever and wherever the feeling struck, within reason.

In all honesty I do believe that condoms should be used at all times. The fact that I don't practise what I preach is my look out I know and I know also that the risks are much more than getting someone pregnant.

If there was a male pill without side effects I would take it - unfortunately there isn't, and more to the point - would any woman trust a man who said he was on it? As was pointed out in one of the other threads, it is the woman who has the most to lose ...

Anyway, I've rambled on long enough. Ultimately it takes two to tango so both (or indeed all ) parties should take their share of the responsibility.

Hmmmm so you would take the male pill if it had no side affects?..all drugs have side affects .Us women have to put up with some awful side affects (though admmittedly it has its advantages such as less painful periods etc) if we take the pill , it has ven bbeen linked to an ncreased risk of breast cancer, but we put up withit.Some women (such as myself)cant take the pill (i was put on it years ago for problem periods butit made me ill),so surely if the male takiing a different version makes it easier for us,and gives them the convenience of not having to use a condom (ive heard wearing a condom compared to sniffing a rose with a gas mask on!),then surely they can put up with a few side affects? When you think of all wot women have to suffer,youd think it would be he least they could do!..
Men..so selfish!

It is not to be good to have the sex if not in marry with girl.

We read Bible. We hear word of God and Jesus. He tells us not to have the sex!

Too many having the sex.

Thank Q!

Eloquently put Q

The only effective way to avoid both diseases and unwanted babies is celibacy. Unfortunately thats not very much fun. What is fun is having lots of unprotected sex with numerous partners. Cruel, cruel fate....

Celibacy is also practiced for spiritual reasons because having too much sex all the time supposedly drains away ones life force. The exception to this is the tantric sect of buddhism in which sexual practice is done as a form of meditation and spiritual exercise. It is warned that improper practice of this kind can be detrimental and draining, but the results of doing it correctly are said to be more than worth the effort... one can only imagine.

H.A.

I accept your point, Just Me, and to be honest had failed to consider the side effects of taking the Pill - slight oversight that wasn't intentional.

My concern with the male Pill is the fact that it halts sperm production. Correct me if I'm wrong but I seem to remember from my biology classes at school that girls are born with as many eggs as they will ever have. The Pill simply represses the releasing of an egg each month.

Halting sperm production is effectively sterilisation. However reversible this may be, I want kids and although I don't want them right now, the thought of jeopardising my chances through self-inflicted sterilisation doesn't appeal.

It may be a selfish point of view but that's the way I see it. The truth of the matter is I don't know how they can manufacture a Male Pill that doesn't induce sterilisation, however temporary and until they convince me I'm going to stick to condoms as my preferred (!) method ... sort of ...

It is always the responsibility of both people in a sexual relationship to take precautions.

As a gay man I dont have to worry about pregancy, but I most certainly have to worry about the other potential consequences of unsafe/unprotected intercourse.

I am in a long term monogomous relationship and as a result of the level of trust and intimacy built up between my partner and I (and also because we have both had negative HIV tests) we have chosen to engage in unprotected sex. This decision came about after a number of long discussions etc. and is only because we both trust the other to remain faithful.

Notwithstanding this it must be sadi that the only effective protection against STD's, other than celibacy, is the condom. The male pill whilst stopping sperm production, does not stop the production of seminal fluid and therefore does not protect against the transmission of STD's.

If you care about your own health and that of your sexual partner then you will exercise responsibility and take precautions, if you don't then do not be surprised if no one wishes to interact sexually with you.

On a side note -
"Correct me if I'm wrong but I seem to remember from my biology classes at school that girls are born with as many eggs as they will ever have. The Pill simply represses the releasing of an egg each month."

That's right, we do. But the eggs deteriorate. So being on the pill for 10 years doesn't mean we have ten years worth of eggs stocked up. That's why fertility goes down as women get older.

Well there you go ... you learn something everyday.

I totally agree with what you're saying Ross and I know that the risks are greater than pregnancy, and I know how foolish it was but as I said; we were both sober, we were both aware of the risks - I and indeed she would be the only people to blame which is a responsibility we were both, clearly, willing to accept/overlook.

Don't think I don't take the issue of contraception seriously, because I do, despite past admissions.

Ekki please do not think my comments were aimed at you in particular they were not. I was just chucking my tuppence worth (showing my age there folks) into the ring.

Consenting adults are capable of making rational, hopefully informed choices as to the level of safeguards, if any, they wish to take when engaging in sexual activity.

Whilst I fully endorse the use of condoms in penetrative (anal or vaginal) sex, I draw the line at using them for oral sex (considered to be safe practice) because even the flavoured ones taste disgusting and/or significantly reduce sensation. Likewise I am sure (having no first hand experience) that the so called "detal dam" is just as awful when engaging in oral sex.

Anyway thats enough for now as i really ought to do some of what I am paid for

Didn't mean to make it sound like I'd taken it personally ... guess I was just justifying my actions to myself as much as to anyone else!

EKKI FTANG ETC ETC.hmmmmm I see your point..but it has exactly the same effect on us y;know! What is egg represion i it is not sterilisation?.And when you start mucking about with ovulation you can end up with all sorts of probs!

As Linda pointed out, we may be orn with asmany eggs as well ever hhave but they do degenerate etc..quite seriously after the age of 35 I believe whicj s why the risks of having a baby with a problem goes up so steeply then . If i remember rightly as well as breast cancer the pill s also linked to blood clots in the legs etc

...but also reduces the risk of some other cancer by up to 50% (or some huge number like that)... for me it balances out. I am in good health and smoke-free and don't have a diseased family history, tho, so obviously it's not for everyone.
All this trust business- I would trust someone to inform me of any potential health threats they had, take a male pill if it were available etc. because I would be unlikely to be in a sexual situation with someone I didn't trust. (really, I'm not being naive.) But that's just me so if I were someone else condoms would be the order of the day. And besides my s.o trusts me to take my medicine even though I am vastly more absent-minded than he.

In response to Just Me, I don't consider the Pill to sterilise ...

To recylce an analogy I used elsewhere:

The Pill - imagine a room full of people one of whom leaves each month. The Pill effectively locks the door to that room therefore not letting anyone out until, of course, you unlock the door (ie come off the pill).

The Male Pill - imagine a room which is constantly letting hundreds of people in and every now and being completely emptied. The Male Pill effectively stops letting anyone in (ie stops sperm production).

I realise that in the early days of the Pill, similar concerns as to whether "full working order" would be restored, would probably have been voiced, but it is still a concern of mine which stands between me taking it and continuing (sort of) with condoms ...

There are all sorts of problems with the pill, some of which lead me to not want to take the pill and some of which (I've recently found out) prevent me from taking it.

I didn't want to take the pill because of the psycological side effects that I had seen take place in some of my friends. I realise there are plenty of different types of pill designed to counter this problem by reacting differently with different women, but I also know that when you are being irrationally depressed/stressed/suffering anxiety attacks the most difficult thing in the world is to say 'Hang on there's a chemical reason for this and I can stop it happening'.

I can't take the pill because I get migranes and it isn't recommended.

I'm not too bothered (now) about the cancer risks. At present, as far as I can tell all sorts of things are cancer risks including my family history so the only reasonable course of action is to live as healthily as I can.

Instead I now have an implant fitted. I can't tell you about short term effects because it has only just been fitted. However, it does make me sterile for the next 3 years, I can't forget to take it (though I am absent minded enough that I might forget to have it taken out) and I shall see how it goes for the next 3 months whilst my body adjusts to what is happening.

ive heard about the implants but i dont know any details really. just outa curiosity would you mind telling us what it feels like, do you have to pay for it & if so how much? any side effects? umm... oh yeah, how do they get it out again?! (they inject 'em in dont they?)

oh & i agree with mandragora that i wouldnt be having sex with a person i didnt trust completely & i dont think other peole should either really. takes the meaning & specialness out of it (or am i being naive?!)

omy <cheerup

Ok so, I got the implant fitted at a family planning clinic and no, I didn't have to pay for it. I've now had it in for four days so I'm not sure about side effects yet, you'll have to ask me later if you're interested.

It itself is injected under local anaesthetic and then you get bandaged for 24 hours. (it's in my non-writing arm btw) The doctor must have done a very good job because I have a small scar where the needle went in and a small bruise, but even on my skinny arms the implant itself is invisible. It hasn't really hurt, though occasionally uncomfortable. As for getting it out again, um, well I'll find out I guess. If I have any problems with it they'll take it out again (although probably not in the next 3 months)

Appolgoies to anyone I'm boring with this overload of detail.

And yes, the reason I've decided to get an implant is that I'm in a long term relationship and have been for a year and a half. This gives both of us the peace of mind that we don't have to worry each month that I might be pregnant. Up till now it's been condoms, and they have their virtues, but they also have their disadvantages.

Well, if Q is right, hard-line Christians will die out quickly. Will we miss them?

u mean cuz they're missin out on the fun or that they wont reproduce, cuz Q dint say they dont have sex, was just pointing out they wait til they're married. then if they have lots of sex (& esp. if they're strict r/c) they can have lots of kidies.
(& they can have lots of fun anyway...well, according to my mate & her partner @ any rate!)

& thanks for info purple dragon

omy