h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

yes

Is the M-word Sodit? Or is that Tuesday?

In order: Sodit, Wimpy, Wibble, Thing, Poets, Doobry, Dontbry. (That's beginning with the M-word). I think I may have to impose Thingism into the Church to avoid future problems.

Sodit... makes sense...

It is the thing that usually turns people to the power of thing.

Yes...
Anyway, I've got work to do.
*Begins putting together the anti de-virginifier machine...*

BOOOO! I've got a perfectly good de-virginifier right here, oh I see what you're doing, that's no fun. Raping and pillaging is what religion is all about.

yes, i am the official bannisher of Sodit, did i hear someone say it?

YAY! It's Poets! And I have a perfectly good Two-dogs in the fridge at home! YAY!!!

(Two-dogs being a brand of beer. This particular bottle is "lemon" flavored - which tastes like beer mixed with lemonade. It also comes in "orange" flavor! I think they started mixing lemonade with beer so that you could drink them at church socials, and no-one would be the wiser! )

YAY!!!

*an anti-devirginizer?*

i would not be suprised!

It gives the user back her virginity (Haven't got all the bugs out of the male version, which is more of a 'sexual organ remover' ). I thought since PS *ahem* ruined the merchendise on 42 vestigial virgins, I ought to build one...

Now that I actually come to tell someone, it doesn't sound all that good, really...

Can I be the first test "virgin"?

*aside to Wargamer... "how much do you want for the machine? It could come in very handy in future relationships...*

Hey! How dare you! This is a very delicate, sensitive and above all expensive piece of machinery! It is for HT Members only, and even then should only be used in the most desperate of circumstances...
...Like whenever you feel like it.

So it removes all the damage done by lack of virginisng? Hmmm... useful, very useful....

Exactly!

What have I done!?

You've revolutionised life as we know it, no more avoiding rough old dogs, you can just get 'em right back to where they started with your magical marvellous machine! Hooray!
*slaps WG heartily on the back and breaks out the cigars*
Now we just need a test subject...

I told you I already volunteered to be the "test" subject.

And you need to keep your hands off this machine buddy - we don't need it burnt out from overuse until... well... until I've overused it1

Okay then Michele, lets run this test, come with me...