h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oooh, you've never been assimilated before, have you? Ooooh, a virgin to play with. I promise to take this real slow... we don't need to scare you off just from your first time, do we?

*traces an ear with pointer and middle fingers. Assimilations tubes come out, tracing along a similar path behind njan's ear, not injecting any nano probes yet. The Queen leans closer, eyes still locked with njan's.*

Just let me know if anything makes you uncomfortable, hmmm?

*njan moves his head back against a bulkhead, starting to feel slightly nervous. He drums his left index finger against his leg, looking back at the borg queen*

I - ah - I'll be sure to.

*The Borg Queen trails her fingers and the assimilation tubes down from njan's ear. About halfway down she pauses, and hovers around a particular spot.*

Now don't worry, this won't hurt a bit...

*leans in for a kiss as the assimilation tubes make contact with njan's neck, releasing recently modified nanos into his system.*

*njan's eyes glaze over, his pupils turning a similar shade of grey to that of the catachresis's displacer fields, shimmering and rippling like marble, whilst he opens his mouth and draws a silent breath, somewhat thwarting the borg queen's attempt for a sly kiss at the moment of assimilation*

*njan, mostly conscious, shuts his eyes, and his body tenses as the nanoprobes flow through his bodily conduits, making molecular changes to his cellular structure at an alarming rate*

*njan opens his eyes again after a few moments, pupils recovered, but irises still an alarmingly captivating shade of grey which still seems to shimmer and ripple as the nanoprobes continue to build structures internally to his body*

*njan closes his eyes again, skin dulling and appearing to be underlayn by a viscously organic shade of green. At short intervals, metallic structures appear in a manner that can only be described to be 'bubbling to the surface', disappearing back under the skin again without any trace.*

*njan opens his eyes and sits up, conscious again, and looks around*

*blinks*.. what.. has happened?

*skin gradually fades back to a colour which approaches normal*

You had to go through an almost complete assimilation before you could be a name instead of a number again.

Now that wasn't too bad, now was it?

*njan extends an arm, moves it around, and looks at his hand*

So what, now, can I do, exactly? *looks around*

No, it was.. quite civilised, really..

Well, basically you can add in nice little technological bits to your great human bits I'd be glad to share from my personal collection.

*njan smiles*

your personal collection.. pray elaborate?

Perhaps I should show you... *places her hand on njan's forearm, and guides him off to a private alcove*

*njan reappears a few minutes later, looking notably smug with himself, and with one or two stylishly minimalistic metallic appendages, in true borg style. He picks up a phaser rifle, and patrols the area, making sure that nothing's gone unseen in the flurry of activity*

What a Benidict Arnold... (sheesh)

How many still remain unsoiled by the Borg?

Re-group!

*puts hand up*

*in his hand is his favourite sword A762338 which goes through the ceiling of the thread*

Ooops

I should warn you people that the h2g2 mercenaries have been contracted to protect the borg, and as such, any hostile action undertaken on your parts which is seen to be directly or indirectly harming them will be taken to be an action which requires protection.

(radio).. Operative 1 to all stations, inbound hostiles. Require backup, repeat, require backup

*eyes reddog suspiciously and slowly draws a glimmering sword with a blade made from reinforced obsidian from behind his back, light scattering on the floor reflected off the blade in a series of perfectly symmetrical geometric patterns*

*njan holds the sword just below horizontal, the tip below the handle, and uses his left hand to alter one of his newly acquired borg augmentations*

*moves back towards the console that he vacated when Njan and Saturn Girl decided to experiment*

(radio) Roger that. Activating defensive systems.

*hovers his hands about half an inch above the console and begins 'pressing' various buttons on the screen*

See Star Trek Voyager, Relitivity episode. It's kinda

(intercom) Please stand away from the wall brackets and ensure that your mercenary/borg identification clips are activated.

*said wall brackets suddenly open, revealing 102 fortified laser turrets*

*axe continues typing:
CONTROL.EXE /MODIFY USER < AXE *

(radio) Command, Rifle Two. Aquire targets.
(radio) Team, Rifle Two. Lets get ready to RUMBLE!

BTW, the 'Command' radio callsign is assigned to the computer systems for the duration of this assignment. All Mercenary personel have access to it. One of my latest inventions .

BTW, can we have a team + callsign list please? For this assignment, I get:

Mystrunner - Unknown callsign
Axe - Rifle 2
Njan - Operative one
CV - Abstained
Krans - Rifle 1

Yup, that's the standard listing. Doikk comes out as something like "heavy weapons 1", and CV was Support 1. I suppose our intra-atmospheric support team member is support 2

*From behind his back, Mystrunner draws a blade of octiron, pure crystalized magic. Its handle is of sapient pearwood, and has a homicidical view of anyone who wants to hurt its owner*

How does "nightblade" sound? Its my current occupation...

*Glares at the borg*

Though it looks as if I may be forced to go AWOL...