h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*radio crackles*.. mercenaries, check F87409?thread=176742&latest=1 immediately, before further action. thankyou.

Njan, request permission to abstain from this op?

*Gets annoyed with the holotransmission. The borg queen disables all holo emitters withing a 42 yard radius of her location.*

*beams back down from somewhere*

Good morning. I am one of the Mercenary Operatives assigned to protect this hive. Please instruct your drones to leave me alone and to wear a hard hat because we may use heavy machinery to create fortifications.

*njan reappears, now reclad in an assortment of combat gear. He walks over to saturn girl, and nods respectfully*

mercenaries present, ma'am. Where would you like protection focused.

*njan has some sandbags erected around a particularly important-looking set of consoles, and positions a small pile of phaser rifles behind the line of sandbags*

(radio) Hello Sniper 2, this is Operative 1, status check, over..

(radio) Operative 1, Sniper 2. I'm standing about five metres behind and to the left of you .

Ooh, consoles... Permission to, , download some security updates for the nice shiny computers?

*walks over to one of the consoles and puts a hard-hat into the replicator slot*

*every drone in the hive suddenly gets protected from falling bricks by their cool new piece of headgear*

Lets see...

*gets out a small holoprojector and loads up the hive blueprints on it...

It's amazing what you can find on Lycos these days

...then activates the auto-update so he can see how the defences are coming along*

*Begins with installing what looks like the anti-matter guns from the blueprints that Nicol Tesla made, before the CIA and the KGB carted them away the night he died.*

*grins*

*passes around the *

Oooooh! You know the way right to a Borg Queen's heart!

Is there anything I can do for you in return?

*njan smiles, playing with a plasma conduit and patching it into a recharging point for the mercenaries radios*

No, I'm sure I'll be quite fine, thankyou. *njan munches some chocolate*

You sure? Some nice nano probes and implants might be fun. *adds a , and a friendly smile*

.. ah, but I like my independence. Fun as cybernetics are.. *pauses for a moment and thinks of all of the things he could do with implants and nanoprobes* ..I rather value my freedom. And I don't think I'd make a very good mi.. drone.

The whole collective issue aside, though, sure.

*blinks* Are you saying you want to be assimilated, but not? *blinks again*

In a word, yes.

And - and I've always wanted to say this - I'm a name, not a number.

*grins and puts aside (only for the length of time needed to assimilate njan to the extent he wishes)*

And how do you want it? I can be quick, or slow

*locks eyes with njan, places hand on his chest, and slowly backs him against the nearest consol*

Well?

*njan wonders what, exactly, he's got himself into*

*njan, easing his hand towards the chocolate, replies:* Oh, slow sounds like much more fun..

so.. you're going to do what, exactly?

*Gives a quick slap of the wandering hand*

Well, for starters, I'm going to protect my , thank you! Then from there, it can depend on what you want. The slow way is always much more fun... for me, and the soon to be assimilated person. Of course I will limit the nanos influence on your body, allowing you to keep control of your thoughts. You'll also be able to tap in and listen to the hive mind, should you want to.

And when we're done here, you can choose from my selection of super nifty implants.

*njan yelps, and listens in*

umm.. very well, that sounds.. acceptable. ..

..so, how do we start?