h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I think we may have to start moving into the world of crime to fund our operations. After all, if they're all doped up it will be easier for us to take over when the time comes. Perhaps Oblivion ought to take a team to bring a packet of drugs into the country. It's a highly technical operation, but I'm sure the lambs are up to it.

Have I told you my latest news? It seems that it was a North American sheep who first discovered that tobacco can be smoked. I have pictures of cave paintings which depict a couple of rams chilling out and passing a pipe between them, while humans look on reverently, offering occasional gifts.

I'm not into tobacco, it's hell on the lungs...
How about mining? I can find some nice mineral patches on Neptune...

OR we could use the Griffons! They could carry a fair bit and shoot anyone who gets in the way! Hmm... So, what we'd need is a long range, hard-to-detect cargo aircraft... tricky...

From memory of programs I've seen, it doesn't take much drugs to earn a lot of profit. Perhaps sheep in Scuba-diving kits?

why the sheep in scuba diving suits

crime would work, i do not have major qualms about that. in fact... drugs are a good idea, so we get large shipments of marijuana and the revolt gets to skim off the top?

oh yeah, and nice update bob, will be up shortly

What about mining? I've got a friend in the Diomedies system who wouldn't say no to certain materials...

that is a definite possibility, get a plan and it is prolly a go, by the way, do you like the format of the front page?

Yeah, I like it... you checked my Uniform idea? It's on my Fashion Page.

i have checked it, so, what exactly are we to be mining?

Whatever we can find... I've got about 300 tonnes of surplus ore that I'm still trying to shift off of Pluto... but there ain't a lot of demand for it in Diomedies; it's cheaper to buy the stuff from the Draco system.
Maybe gas-mining on Jupiter?
Do you know about any terran resources we could tap into?
OR steal from the US government (like they're gonna' put it to good use!)?

i do not know of terran resources, but gas mining is always good and stealing from the USA!
yes!

i like it!

That'll teach George Bush not to decrease pollution! We'll do it for him by stealing his fuel! Perfect!

wonderful

I'll get right on it! Griffon Leader to pad! Target Esso! We're going for a fuel raid!

sounds nice

i eagerly await the report

I'm right on it! See you in a few!
*Boards Griffon I*
[Can you hear me Galen? This is Griffon I. All systems go! While I'm up, I might try some propaganda broadcasts to undermine the enemy from within... I'll let you know how it goes. See ya'!]
*Flies off to his objective*

Ive not been given a mission yet. Galen. Give me something to do!

[I've got a mission Obliv! Take the Striders and meet me at the following co-ords: /CO-ORDINATES ON ENCLOSED CHANNELL/. We're raiding enemy supplies: an Anti-sheep convoy of light armour + infantry is on the way! You come up from behind and I'll blow the bridge ahead! We'll trap 'em and gun 'em down!]

Roger Roger! Ill meet you there.