h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*the minion curls into a ball and strains as hard as he can*
ooops excuse me!
*then the minion begins to radiate an extremely high amount of heat*
I will roll each of you potatoe freaks down!!

ha! you call those attacks! you are no veggies, you are a bunch of fruits! *saying that death dog takes his battle ax, and begins a slicing and dicing rampage*

the army of the fuzzy woodland cretures have arrived fear us!

holy crap the death dog is really pissed!!
kill them all dog!!

Uhmm. you know we aren't made of potatoe, we fight with potatoes

*enraged the minion pulls out his double edged sword and lunges at the Captain*
Die Captain Die

*either way there was slicing and dicing*

Im right beside you! LOCK AND LOAD! ATTACK!

Death dog get behind them.
I have inside info that the Fuzzy one will be here soon.

*surrounds he enemy with extra strength curly fries*

*the sound of wrath...
it is a screeching echo...*
ha ha ha ha...
i am back and now you are going to be demolished...
my team is assembled and we will prevail ...
*throws fish on the ground, it lets out a foul stench...*
ha ha ha ha ha ha
now you will die...!

*trading his double edged sword for a massive battle hammer the minion slams the good Captain into the nearest oak*
I can see the pain in your eyes Captain

consider it done. *death dog works his way around through the carnage of the terrible battle*

*tags the minion in the back of the head with a frozen spud* get out of there rimmer! runs in to the fray...

I told you death dog he would return...
the one of pure and unthinkable pain...
the one so fowl he has no friends....
the one who should put the fish away, my God that stinks.
The Fuzzy Love Bunny.

*Scurrying away jrhuxley trips over the minion's tail*
Now you will feel my true wrath

*the minion slips off his shoe and sticks his foot in jrhuxley's face*

*puls out his bow and arrow and starts to take out the incoming potatoes with locusts arrows*
minion - start your rampage of bad fart jokes, and stay away from the beverages, or you will get too mad...
death dog - use your battalion of mustangs to rip thru their defenses...
then we will capture debby...
and i will have her back...
*theme song to the love boat*

prepare yourself potato squad or whatever, the three terrible ones of unthinkable carage will soon win this battle!

*after downing a keg of beer the bowels of the minion unleash an unholy odor*

AAAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!
Captain I will hammer you into the ground
*the odor is so dense that visiblity is very limited on the battle field*

*suddenly a spud hits fuzzy in the stomach and he falls over
unconscious...*
uuuggghhghghgh.....*snore*