h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

OK-No panic-no panic.
WERE GONNA DIE, WERE GONNA DIE!!
You take the squirrels and Me and floh take the heat circle!
*Fires*

*starts attacking the small fury crature currently over running the place and gives dancing death dog a swift kick up the behind whiles he's at it*

*fires razor edged potato chips at death dog*

*Arming the gun with the coldest thing in excistence!...*
A frozen pizza!
*Fires*
*The heat wall gets hit and curls up and dies*
JAY!!!

Dancing dog stand close.
*slamming his fist into the earth, the minion causes a down pour of pine needles to fall piercing the skin of the fuzzy one's enemies*

*turns round in mid fight*

Whoes jay?

You fools, the potato army is impervious to pine needles, our skins are thick with carbohydrates!

*realizing his mistake the minion hurls one of his lava spheres into the atmosphere causing a boiling hot acid rain to fall on the enemy*

*Never has he been more glad for the good old complex carb*

once again you have been foiled boiling us just makes us more tasty!

*in a fit of rage the death dog pulls out his trusty deep frier and starts to make french fries*

*runs around in a giant mr. potato head costume to confues the enemy while the rest of the army converges on them* CAl, Rimmer, FLoh, GET THEM!!!!

*quickly dancing death dog to the potato peeler*

*french fries speak french not english, despite the language barrier deth dog says* do your worse!

MANGE M**RD! Death dog!

*rat-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta*
TAKE THAT!
*The minion fuzzy jumps up and down trying to avoid getting hit by the tons and tons of coleslaw mixed with potatoe salad*

SI vous preferez englais, EAT S**T! (hey, he asked for french)

where is your precious leader fuzzylovebunny now you weaklings? *starts pulling off attachments from the mr. potato head costume nd throwing them at the new enemy recruits*

I'm out of ammo!
*Grabs spudgun*
They're weakening, CHARGE!!!
*Runs towards them, shooting*
Come with me!!!