A Conversation for S*T*A*T*S
Innuendo, Rumour, Idle Speculation and Big Fat Fibs
Uncle Heavy [sic] Posted Oct 6, 2001
'Garth, I'm going to be frank'
'Can I still be Garth?'
Innuendo, Rumour, Idle Speculation and Big Fat Fibs
Red (and a bit grey) Dog Posted Oct 6, 2001
:::RUMOUR No 4:::
I have just heard from an impeccable source close to the upper management of S*P*A that Prof Christopher Tonks actually failed his Science GCSE and is covering up the fact 
Innuendo, Rumour, Idle Speculation and Big Fat Fibs
Arlecchino (school gets in the way) Posted Oct 6, 2001
::RUMOR No5::
S*P*A agent Afgncaap5 lives in Cedar City, Utah, with a poodle named "precious", no musical instruments, and no Wierd Al albums. He has never beaten any of the Zork games without refering to *all* the Invisiclues!
Innuendo, Rumour, Idle Speculation and Big Fat Fibs
Asteroid Lil - Offstage Presence Posted Oct 6, 2001
Rumour #4 is flat wrong. Christopher Tonks is actually a cover name for the alien who makes up the GCSE exams.
Innuendo, Rumour, Idle Speculation and Big Fat Fibs
Arlecchino (school gets in the way) Posted Oct 6, 2001
Lil seems to know a lot about that Tonks character...
::Rumour No6::
Lil is really Mary Ann, and P.C.Tonks is the Professor. They stayed behind on the island to raise a love child after Gilligan, the Skipper, too, the Millionare and his wife were all rescued. No one knows what became of the Movie Star...
Innuendo, Rumour, Idle Speculation and Big Fat Fibs
Uncle Heavy [sic] Posted Oct 6, 2001
Rumour number 6:
unbeknownst to sea, GL has been carrying on with arl of all people behind closed doors
Innuendo, Rumour, Idle Speculation and Big Fat Fibs
Arlecchino (school gets in the way) Posted Oct 6, 2001
1st of all, that was rumour number 7, not number 6.
Second of all, the doors were open, and she was just giving me a Tarot reading!
Innuendo, Rumour, Idle Speculation and Big Fat Fibs
Uncle Heavy [sic] Posted Oct 6, 2001
she? i said you and GL were carrying on. no females in *that* relationship, boyo
Innuendo, Rumour, Idle Speculation and Big Fat Fibs
Arlecchino (school gets in the way) Posted Oct 6, 2001
Oh, I misread. I thought you'd actually caught me and sea, er... um.... sorry bout that..
No, me and GL have nothing going on, as poodles named "precious" are not my type. I catagorically deny all such accusations.
Innuendo, Rumour, Idle Speculation and Big Fat Fibs
ex-Rambling. Thingite. Dog. Pythonist. Deceased. Posted Oct 7, 2001
ly laughter
Innuendo, Rumour, Idle Speculation and Big Fat Fibs
Red (and a bit grey) Dog Posted Oct 7, 2001
:::RUMOUR No 8:::
Prof Christopher Tonks real name is Christopher Tonks *True*
Innuendo, Rumour, Idle Speculation and Big Fat Fibs
Asteroid Lil - Offstage Presence Posted Oct 7, 2001
this isn't rumour, it's slime. 
Innuendo, Rumour, Idle Speculation and Big Fat Fibs
Red (and a bit grey) Dog Posted Oct 7, 2001
*consults handbook*
slime, mucus related substances and ectoplasm are all the responsibility of Ex-Rambling.
Innuendo, Rumour, Idle Speculation and Big Fat Fibs
ex-Rambling. Thingite. Dog. Pythonist. Deceased. Posted Oct 7, 2001
Ghost> here's your mucus, Egon.(gratuitous Ghostbuster reference#1)
Innuendo, Rumour, Idle Speculation and Big Fat Fibs
Big Bad Werewolf Posted Oct 7, 2001
Rumour No. 9
Marv is actually the missing movie star! After being rescued from Giligan's island, she started a pet grooming business and spends most of her time trimming poodles, some of which are named 'Precious'. She has never owned a Jeep, truck or anything with 4-wheel drive and she only drinks decaf coffee.
Innuendo, Rumour, Idle Speculation and Big Fat Fibs
Red (and a bit grey) Dog Posted Oct 10, 2001
:::OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE S*T*A*T*S BUREAU OF INNUENDO, RUMOUR, IDLE SPECULATION AND BIG FAT FIBS::: In order to continue our positive month on month growth figures and bring our lively activities to a greater audience we are moving premises to S*P*A Headquarters c/o Franks Cabin, Next to the Strange Guy who could be a Serial Killer, Deepest Montana. Please go to http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F77637?thread=145579&post=1382083#p1382083 for your next exciting installment There will be a few moments disruption to our normal service which we hope will be resumed shortly. Red Dog Manager S*T*A*T*S Bureau of Innuendo, Rumour, Idle Speculation and Big Fat Fibs. *Making YOUR tax dollar go further*
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Innuendo, Rumour, Idle Speculation and Big Fat Fibs
- 41: Uncle Heavy [sic] (Oct 6, 2001)
- 42: Red (and a bit grey) Dog (Oct 6, 2001)
- 43: Arlecchino (school gets in the way) (Oct 6, 2001)
- 44: Asteroid Lil - Offstage Presence (Oct 6, 2001)
- 45: Arlecchino (school gets in the way) (Oct 6, 2001)
- 46: Uncle Heavy [sic] (Oct 6, 2001)
- 47: Arlecchino (school gets in the way) (Oct 6, 2001)
- 48: Uncle Heavy [sic] (Oct 6, 2001)
- 49: Arlecchino (school gets in the way) (Oct 6, 2001)
- 50: ex-Rambling. Thingite. Dog. Pythonist. Deceased. (Oct 7, 2001)
- 51: Red (and a bit grey) Dog (Oct 7, 2001)
- 52: Asteroid Lil - Offstage Presence (Oct 7, 2001)
- 53: Red (and a bit grey) Dog (Oct 7, 2001)
- 54: ex-Rambling. Thingite. Dog. Pythonist. Deceased. (Oct 7, 2001)
- 55: Big Bad Werewolf (Oct 7, 2001)
- 56: Red (and a bit grey) Dog (Oct 10, 2001)
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