h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Welcome Beth

Welcome.

Hello Beth!

Just so you know:

Those H2G2 researchers or those who are part of T.P.B. who present Letters of Introduction to the Prime Minister, Minister, or clean up lady, rather than Letters of Credence to the Governor, take up their functions from the date of arrival in Hootoo and assume precedence from that time.  Ambassadors and High Commissioners who present Letters of Credence/Commission officially take up their functions upon presentation of their Letters to the Governor, otherwise known as the Guv'na.  Credentials are presented strictly in the order of Heads of Missions’ arrival in Hootoo (not from the date of arrival in cyberspace).

A Head of Mission-designate who has presented the working copies of the Letters to the Chief of Protocol (Section 2.6.2) may perform limited official acts while waiting for presentation.  These may include a call on the Dean of Hootoo, calls on the Secretary of the Department and other senior officials, and on other Heads of Mission.  Generally, it is not regarded as appropriate for a Head of Mission-designate to host official functions or to call on Ministers, those with Doctorates, or simply those who program until credentials have been formally presented.

Or not.....

Joins in welcoming Beth !

Another Italic already... Are we that unruly?

Welcome to h2g2.

Obviously Jimster needs backup after Vicki Virago tried to have him banned from logging on!



>>>>>>>>>>>>>Hi Beth!!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Welcome

Hi Beth!

Er, I hope you don't mind if some of the hootooers try to change your name? They didn't do TOO badly by (or to) Paully...last I heard, anyway!

SC

Have a nice day, from L.A.

Traveller in Time on his head
"Goooood morning, you have to know we are a 24hour community overhere."

Morning! Well it is over here, just about.
Thanks again for all the welcomes, I'm quite overwhelmed.

Btw: Paul looks worried at the thought of washing up to be done.

I’m not surprised – but what about those biscuits you mentioned – what’s odd about them?

Ps – WELCOME

Alright you rabble - I take great exception at this foul slander you're all bandying about with regard to me not doing the washing up. I do my fair share - I've swilled a damp rag round the cups at least once this year already... and if that's not doing my bit, I don't know what is!



Paully

re the washing up,....

probably about time he did something around there

Beth, just out of interest, and to find out if it's a requirement of employment at the towers or just a "coincidence" with paully- have you ever writtena book with any other h2g2 editor? I'd be intereested to know.

hmm insulting Don Paulione, you'll wake up with a dirty dish in your bed !!

Hi Egon,

I've written magazine, newspaper and web articles but never a book. So seeing as I've sneaked in without publishing one I'll be reading Jim and Paul's libraries for inspiration!

Well, at least you've been published. That's good enough for me!

Welcome to hootoo!


Geggs

Welcome to the lovely, supportive and extremely mad community!

David

I bet your articles are all much more imaginative than Jim and Paul's work anyway- I mean, episode guides, like *that*'s literature...

(disclaimer: i'm only joking. And I've only read one of Jim's books and none of Paully's. And I liked the one I've read. But anyway...)

Ooooh!

Oh! I almost forgot the schedule, Beth!

7:00 A.M. Weekdays . . .7:15 A.M. Saturdays, Sundays & Holidays:
Morning wake-up bell. See Section 30 for instructions in making bed, policing cell, etc.

7:20 A.M. Weekdays. . .7:50 A.M. Saturdays, Sundays & Holidays:
Count Bell. Stand up by your cell door, facing out, remain there until the bell signal sounds again, indicating the count is correct. Absolute silence must prevail during all counts.

7:30 A.M. Weekdays. . .7:50 A.M. Saturdays, Sundays & Holidays:
Breakfast. When your door opens come out promptly and proceed in single file to the Dining Room in a quiet orderly manner. Do not change places in line by moving forward or backward. You may carry books and magazines to the library exchange table but do not carry books or anything else to exchange with other inmates nor put anything in other inmates' cells.

The Officer at the tray-dispenser cart will direct you to file past the steam table to the right or left, as he sees fit, to balance the lines. You must follow his instructions without question. See Section #33 for other Dining Room Rules.
Upon returning to your cell after breakfast, tidy up your cell, placing all trash in your wastebasket. Place this basket outside the cell door at the first opportunity so that orderlies may empty it. If you leave the building for work or recreational activity, put on appropriate clothing. Caps are not worn inside the cellhouse at any time.

8:00 A.M. Weekdays: Outside Work Call.
Industries and other outside details will proceed in single file through the rear cellhouse door to the yard.
In rainy weather, all outside workers are called out by details. Remain in your cell until your detail is called, then proceed promptly to the West End of the cellhouse. Your detail officer will escort you as quickly as possible to your place of work.
In fair weather, or when it is not raining too hard, details will remain on the Yard until the Lieutenant gives the signal to line up. You will have a few minutes to smoke and converse. When the line-up bell rings, move promptly to your proper place in your detail and face the South wall. Smoking is not permitted between the Yard and your place of work. Your detail officer will give the signal to proceed through the rear gate to the Work Area. Move in single file.
Laundry workers will turn right at the ramp and enter the Laundry. Gardeners and incinerator operator will wait at the Garden Area Gate. If you work in a lower-level shop or outside, proceed to the lower level and stop at the designated lines. Form a column of Twos and await the signal from your detail Officer to proceed.

When you reach your place of work, change in to your work clothes and go about your work as directed by your detail Officer or Foreman.
Smoking is permitted in the shops except where there is some hazardous condition. Smoking is a privilege. Be very careful about putting matches and butts in the butt-cans.

8:25 A.M. Count Bell on Saturdays, Sundays & Holidays.
8:30 A.M. Saturdays -- Main Line Bath. (See Section #29)
9:25 A.M. Saturdays -- Count Bell.
9:30 A.M. Saturdays -- Yard. (See Sections #37 & #42)
8:30 A.M. Sundays -- Religious Services. (See Sections #40 & #48)
8:40 A.M. Sundays -- Yard.
8:30 A.M. Holidays -- Yard.
8:40 A.M. Weekdays: Inside details will proceed directly and quietly to their places of work. They will confine their activities strictly to their assigned duties and upon satisfactory completion of these duties will return directly and quietly to their cells.
Culinary Detail inmates have a special schedule of work and recreation hours.
11:35 A.M. Weekdays: Outside details will stop work, check in tools, wash, change clothing and prepare for return to the cellhouse.
11:45 A.M. Weekdays: Outside details leave shops on signal and proceed in column of twos to the cellhouse. Do not carry on loud and boisterous conversations. Do not jostle or indulge in horseplay with others.
YOU MAY BE STOPPED AND SEARCHED AT ANY TIME. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CARRY CONTRABAND. .
11:50 A.M. Weekdays: COUNT BELL.
12:00 Noon. Saturdays, Sundays & Holidays -- Return to cellhouse from recreation Yard. Line up in Yard according to cell block and gallery area and proceed to the cellhouse on signal.
12:00 Noon. Weekdays: Dinner.
12:10 P.M. Saturdays, Sundays & Holidays: COUNT BELL.
12:15 P.M. Saturdays, Sundays & Holidays: Dinner.
12:30 P.M. COUNT BELL.
12:35 P.M. SICK CALL. See Section #36.
INTERVIEWS: You will be notified if you are scheduled for an interview with any Official. See Section #24.
1:00 P.M. Weekdays: Outside Work Call. Same as A.M. Routine.
1:00 P.M. Saturdays, Sundays & Holidays: COUNT BELL.
3:10 P.M. (TUESDAYS ONLY): Return to cellhouse for Tuesday bathline.
3:25 P.M. COUNT BELL. (Tuesday only).
3:30 P.M. Bath lines -- Tuesday Only.
3:30 P.M. Weekdays. (Other than Tuesday) Yard recreation period ends. Return from recreation area.
4:10 P.M. Stop work on outside details.
4:20 P.M. Outside details leave shops to cellhouse.
4:35 P.M. COUNT BELL.
4:40 P.M. Supper.
5:30 P.M. COUNT BELL. Final Lock-up Count.
SATURDAYS, SUNDAYS & HOLIDAYS:
3:45 P.M. Return from Yard.
3:55 P.M. COUNT BELL.
4:00 P.M. Supper.
4:40 P.M. COUNT BELL. Final Lock-up Count.
RECREATION PERIODS: Saturdays: 9:30 A.M. to 12:00 Noon: 1:15 P.M. to 3:40 P.M.
Sundays: 8:40 A.M. to 12:00 Noon: 1:15 P.M. to 3:40 P.M.
Holidays : 8:30 A.M. to 12:00 Noon: l:15 P.M. to 3:40 P.M.

Movies are shown twice monthly on Sundays and Holidays in the afternoon.