h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A bite chewy, but...

A bite chewy, but...

I am an idiot. I cannot spell simple words, and am not patient enough to wait for my postings to be posted. A am a fool. Please kill me and save me from further embarassment. My lawyer will be writing my legal declaration of my sheer incompetence, I will sign it, but I will require two witnesses. Any volunteers???

cease and desist with this self-flagellation!


you a working towards spelling simple words
you have issues with patience, but will attend a patience-awareness-raising course

sack your lawyers, and refuse to pay the bill!!

I will stop with the self flagelation if omeone else could do it for me...

Sorry, but .

Hmmmmmmmm. Where's Mina when you need her?

Cheese, squeezy cheese is a brilliant toothpaste substitute... Miles better than all that mint flavoured stuff..

wouldn't cheese toothpaste smell funny? Or, to be more acurate, like cheese? Not that thats a bad thing... Ahem

Whatabout the users of cheese tooth paste? They'd smell... well- cheesey too!

And give you nightmares too, I suppose...

~~A~~

Yes, that's for sure!

Merry Christmas everyone!

~~A~~

I'm always trying to convince people that cheese rules and nothing shall ever come close. Of course they argue and I am forced to kill them, but the few who survive still aren't convinced. I recently partook in an discussion about which is the greater; cheese or rocks? Anyone have an idea?

Hmm... Cheese.

Eating cheese gives you wierd dreams, eating rocks gives you indigestion.

~~A~~

If you can actually EAT rocks, they'll make your teeth stronger.

the answer's obvious - cheese grater

Da-dum Chish!!! (or Da-Dum flop-flople-ople if you are using a rubber cymbol). At least I assume that that is a really bad pun and not just an unfortunate groan worthy accident. Rocks are nowhere near as good as cheese, as is evidenced by the vast superiority of cheese in a wide vast and holistic sense over all other things including itself! Ha!
Try the following arguments for Cheese Vs Rocks:
1) Early man made fire by banging the rocks together. Cheese is a sign of significant advances in civilisation.
2) Rocks erode over time. Cheese matures and becomes nicer over time.
3) When molten cheese comes into contact with human civilisation much yummy cheesy niceness ensues. Molten rock brings only burning death.
4) Lack of rocks would result in no-one ever having to study geology ever again, this would make the majority of the earths population happier and lower the work load of geolory students everwhere. Lack of cheese would cause only pain suffering and a loss of the will to live.
5) Castles built from rock will eventually be destroyed durin siege warfare. castles made from cheese rebound trebuchet and canon fire and avoid any possibility of the defenders being starved into surrender.

Damn thats so good I'm gonna go and put it into the article!!!!!!

Hold it! About the geology- all geology will now on become history students, and by that a very big population of students, that only desired an effortless degree in something that, well- doesn't exist anymore, will become extremely unhappy. AND the History Faculties all over the planet would get bigger and have to accept geology students as well. Ha! Answer this!