h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Waaaaaaiiiiii~! This is funnnnnnn!

*Kalia tumbles around a bit until she ends up randomly landing in the seat. She straps herself in and grabs the joystick, then goes hunting for other pinballs that have people in them.*

*vaguely* Did he say something about a thermonuclear device?

*pause*

Nah, couldn't've been!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

*A sizable group of Mayhem employees on their lunchbreak can be heard cheering in the bleachers. Near them is a Mayhem camera crew for the daily company news update/pay per view entertainment program*

*The Gecko Warrior walks up to the crowd*

Gecko Warrior-You'll all have to pay for tickets. Five US dollars, or the closest equivalent that you have with you. And that's $5.00 for each one of you.

Also, STUMPED Stadium has all rights to things filmed at this stadium. Now, I'm sure that this pay-per-view special is well within your budget. We're a reasonable business here.

*All of them flash STUMPED cards*

[Horowitz] Membership discount, courtesy of NYC student.

[Gao] But if it's a fight you want...

*seventeen cli-clacks*

[Gao] ...We'd be happy to oblige.

*Pay-per-view just doubled its rates*

I'd actually probably fall under the category of an Assassin who carries ludicrous amounts of weaponry at the same time or whatever it was... but i don't! really. bags of holding, pocket dimensions and the like...


*cuts out of the pinball with a monofilament dagger (that someone from STUMPED gave me to perform a 'job'*

Gecko Warrior-No, members can watch for free. And you there, we'll get you out of that pinball when we're ready for the final stage.

can i get out sooner on my own? cuz unless you explain why, i just did.

Lots of us have escaped during our initiations. But to be properly initiated, you're supposed to stay in there for the majority of the 3 days. In any case...

*Kalia happily steers her pinball toward the escaped Wonko and flattens him cartoonishly against the ground, then ricochets against his abandoned pinball*

CLANK...

[Darth Corrigible] Hmm ... I wonder if Agent Smith would be allowed into STUMPED ... and if he was, how many of him would need to perform the initiation ...

*the tv crew keep a running commentary*

[Edwards] It looks as if Wonko has HAD it after two full days of nauseating revolutions around and around and around the ring, and is now trying to cut his way out of his deathtr-- *cough, cough* err, game sphere, produced exclusively by Mayhem, Incorporated! That's Mayhem, Incorporated, folks! Nobody does Chaos and Destruction like us!

...

Ooh, Wonko has just hopped out of his sphere and is now on foot in the stadium, amidst speeding half ton orbs of stainless STEEL! Last guy who tried that got knocked to Pluto and back!... but then again, he was also being fired upon by the audience, and as we know, that's a regulation no no!

*audience aww*

[Edwards] Just wait, look! We here at Mayhem, Incorporated know just which ball is the thermo-nuclear bomb, baby! And we're here to tell you, our viewer audience, just which one it is because we absolutely love our rating and we own you anyway! Right now, Wonko is really living up to his name as he dodges orb after orb, and has NO idea that the one just heading to him now IS... the BIG one! Oh, man, will that one pack a punch! And it's got a nice gyroscopic-stabilized camera on the front JUST so we can see the whites of his eyes as he's licked by the atomic fire! It's rolling, it's rolling, and ROLLING! AND... JUST missed him by THAT much!

*audience aww*

[Edwards] That supervillian-in-training is just too agile for his own good. He's now running toward the exi-- *POW* WOW! Broadsided by none other than Kalia! He's gonna feel THAT in the morning! Way to please the crowd, Kalia!

*audience cheers*

*The Gecko Warrior grins and steps to the exit, effectively blocking the way out*

Gecko Warrior-To become initiated and to receive all of the rights and priviledges of a STUMPED member (which include not being on our enemies list when we launch our invasions), you've gotta stay in the table for the full three days. You're technically still in the playing field, but dodging's going to be a bit more difficult without the protection and easy-steering of the pinball that you were in. If you truly want out, then initiation will not be complete. Come on, you're almost done! How could it hurt to spend just a little more time in there?

*Kalia ricochets back toward the exit, grinning evilly... *

*GW waits to see what'll happen*

*flips the flippers*

damnit.


*goes back in, remembering the imperfections of what the announcer said was the thermonuclear one*
*hides by a lttle rarely toughed corner and unpacks a plasma torch*

Ahhhhhh, nothings changed, glad to see it. Man and there's even a real smilie now!!!! Wow, these guys have thought of everything.

[Corrigible] Yeah ... now all we need is for C.A.V.E. to get into work, and we'll be able to have /proper/ battles!

*melts a pinball with his *

*The giant Wizard Of Frobozz statue (one of the several figures standing over the pinball machine, if you read the backstories) points at the melting pinball with his giant wand and says "FREEZE", thus solidifying the pinball. Now a huge block of ice is hurtling towards Wonko with even greater speed (and therefore greater force) than before!*

GW-See, this is why I joined the Krylma Legions instead of joinging STUMPED directly. Much more lenient in the initiation procedures.

neat