h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*The noises being made by the Hero in Battle Armor without supplemental heroics to accompany them persuade the Gecko to work faster and harder, quickly joined by all the rest of the travelling company at tipping the Reddish Dog over the relatively short railing*

*drops a short distance to .....*

*...a rubber bumper, which dings and hurls him across the pinball court to...*

*A tall woman looks out at the Stadium from the control room. She wears a long leather jacket, almost a robe, over an impressive suit of lightweight armor. She pushes her goggles off her eyes and up to her hair, which seems to be slightly on fire.*

*She glares down at the Stadium, and the few people endlessly ping-ponging around the field.*

I do think we need... a new game.

*She sighs and grabs a phone, and dials CLI.*

Yes, hello? That new miniatures game of yours... can we get some life-sized figures here? Maybe some terrain pieces, too? Yes, I'll hold...

Affy-Why, sure, we can get that right over. Shouldn't take too long at all, really.

*A delivery truck containing many starter pieces arrives*

Affy-Honestly, had a lot of this stuff just kinda waiting at Crater Toys, but the action figure market and demand for miniatures seems to be dwindling a bit. Let us know if there's more that you need. Enjoy!

*Various Workerbots unload the shipment into the capable-even-though-bumbling hands of various Gecko Warriors who begin installation*

*Corrupt walks around the field, directing installation and pointing out the various hook up points for the controls, ducking as one of the pinballs goes by.*

Can we get those bumpers taken out, already? That's a work hazard! And not an approved one!

*The Stadium floor slowly transforms from deadly pinball game to deadly obstacle course, complete with painstakingly painted, enormous mechanized creations. Corrupt grins madly at the various weaponry being installed, then high-tails it back to the control room.*

I've missed this immensely. Time for a good ol' fashioned hazing!

*She cackles madly, then looks around.*

Now just... where are all the recruits?

*The Krylma Leader paces in*

KL-They will come. It takes bravery to call yourself a supervillain, but there will always be someone brave or foolish enough to take on the task.

*The Krylma Leader snaps his fingers*

Oh, and by the way, I've installed a new obelisk outside the stadium. It's a priceless piece of art from a distant planet. And it's instrumental in one or two horrible plans of mine, so I don't recommend touching it.

No touchie-touchie. Got it. Speaking of which...

*Corrupt consults a map in front of her, then looks down to where Krylma is.*

You might wanna move just a hair north or so. That's a bad spot, and I don't know how long it takes for these things to boot up.

*KL takes a couple steps north*

Thank you. Incidentally, it's more of a no-touchie deal. Merely being near it could cause problems. It's part of something I'm going to do called Project Gnomon. Here, I have a dossier.

*He hands a few sheet of papers to Corrupt, easily read with a standard issue STUMPED Decoder Ring*

*Corrupt flips through the papers boredly, then notices several phrases that give her pause. She gives Krylma a Look.*

I'm aware you're the boss and all, but um... doesn't this seem like a particularly hazardous place to put something like that, what with all the recruits flying about and such?

*The dossier suddenly and inexplicably flares up in Corrupt's hand. She takes no notice of this.*

*KL shakes his head*

Oh, no, it's outside the Stadium. In the grass, a good distance away from the sidewalk. I put up a Keep Off The Grass sign. Don't worry, we're well out of its range right now.

Well, now isn't that just schmuck bait...

*Corrupt is distracted by the sound of grinding gears and grins happily at the slowly awakening machinery.*

Hey KL, you wouldn't happen to know where we could find some recruits these days, would you? Looks like I wasn't the only member on an extended vacation...

*She frowns at the STUMPED roster on the wall, which is punctuated by question marks and other odd symbols next to each name.*

Hmmm...new recruits, new recruits...

I suppose we could check the town, though I haven't been there in ages. The Cafes and restaurants and such might still see people of our ilk.

Still, I do prefer when they come to play on our turf... hmm... decisions, decisions...

*Corrupt grabs a passing Gecko Warrior and has a rapid discussion over a bank of communication panels in the control room, which seems to be answered with a shrug.*

I think I'll try to place some phone calls...

*She fires up several systems, puts on her most wicked grin, and makes some calls.*

*Minos grins*

Oh, I do look forward to seeing where this goes. Perhaps I should go somewhere to introduce myself...personally...

*from shadows*

are you sure your a professional evil organisation...?

I understand that there is villainy to be had here?

*Corrupt swivels away from the phone up in the control booth, and switches to the PA system*

Ah! Recruits already, hmmm? Didn't expect you so soon... welcome to fabulous STUMPED Stadium! Mind the, er, front lawn, there.

If you'll step into the Stadium, you will find a nice big miniatures game set up. Some of the larger pieces are built so that they can be... manually controlled. If you'll climb up into them, you'll find they're quite... eager to play. And very well armed.

As there's two of you, why don't one of you take a piece from that red army, and the other take from that blue army? That'll make this suitably interesting....

The tradition is that surviving three days of this sort of madness certifies you as a member. So have fun!

*cackles madly*

*The Krylma Leader grins*

KL-Heh-heh...we've been a professional evil organization for ages. Got written up in The Post a few times for our pernicious evil deeds, we have. Enjoy your time in the brand new initiation field.

*A Gecko Warrior pops some popcorn and delivers it to Minos, who watches eagerly*