h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How about a category for words and speech? I've met several people like Colin Hunt ('The Fast Show', or 'Brilliant' if you're watching it on BBC America). People who say "yerst" instead of yes. People who go into a pub and ask for "A pint of your finest foaming froth stout yeoman." People who say "Righty ho" instead of OK.

There are probably a bunch more like that, but I've just come off a 12 hour shift followed by 5 hours sleep, so I'll have to get back to this one another time

Management-speak.

Leverage as a verb - why not just say 'use'?

Non-Italians who say 'Ciao'.

I must admit to a Flanders-inspired habit of saying 'Okily-dokily' though.

Okey dokey pig-in-a-pokey - people who have windows in their diaries in which they touch base with people to run ideas up the flagpole and see who salutes drive me absolutely bonkers.

And they always have that annoying Nokia tune on their mobile, and leave it beeping on their desk whilst they are throwing ideas out on the step to see if the cat is sick on them.

English people who adopt American speech habits (and vice versa).

e.g. An English person who says 'skedule', or an American who says 'shedule'.

What's the matter? Can't you just accept your nationality?

I agree absolutely.

I haven't come across many Americans who adopt British speech patterns, but it certainly works the other way, especially with teenagers. My 14 year old niece speaks like she's lived all her life in California, although she actually lives in Manchester - so she has all the phraseology, and none of the accent. It sounds awful - although it would probably be even worse if she tried to fake the accent too.

But I've always said "skedule", all of the 43 years I lived in Britain, and the 2 years I've lived in America "Shedule" is just too posh for an Essex boy like me

Well, I know Americans who use British phrases... Or rather, speak with the accent. Too much Harry Potter!

And then there is me, who uses English spelling because I like it better.... "Realizes" is too harsh, looks wrong... Ugly.

Oh, it cuts both ways, there's no question about that. Perhaps it's diminished now, but when I was in high school 10 years ago (in suburban Atlanta), Britishisms were considered a surefire way to sound classy. One friend of mine was particularly annoying in that regard, tossing around some of the more perjorative elements of British slang in a fashion that would probably have gotten him beaten up in most English cities. Perhaps that ultimately happened, and is why I have not seen him since circa 1996.

As far as tacky language goes, however, nothing beats Christmastime. If I have to read one more news story that contains such phrases as "all the trimmings" or "jolly old elf" or any variation on "'tis the season," I shall be forced to deck someone's halls.

I think it may be a personal idiosyncrasy, but I get irritated at language meant to sound important. E.g., "at this point in time, ..." where "now" is sufficient. Or "I have no idea ..." when a simple "no" is adequate. (E.g., "do you know who won the game?") But I think I drfit from "tacky" ...

I personally can't stand the use of the word "selection" when "choice" will do just as well. I absolutely despise the phrase "It's like (insert name of film/book/cartoon/tv series) on acid!" to describe something that's exciting or over-the-top. Why does that mean it's on acid? Shouldn't that mean it giggles a lot and finds "meaning" in Pink Floyd album covers?

I think we're getting away from what's tacky and drifting into what's irritating, but since we're in that area, I hate it when people use a noun as a verb, like "Where can we source that product from?"

Ah, but that's the pride of the English language! Any part of speech can be made into any other part of speech!

English is evolving all the time - I think it's only dead languages like Latin that don't. It doesn't mean we necessarily have to like the results all the time, though.

I also don't like the way nouns get turned into verbs. Look at it from their point of view - they sit quietly minding their own business being the names of things and then somebody comes along and makes them do stuff! That's not on! And I DO think it's tacky.

I don't like the abbreviations people use in text messages either, but that's another thread in itself.

small mouse creeps in,
looks up at assembled,
clears throat,
and says in authoritatively
squeaky voice,

"Ectually, I find the word 'tacky' itself to be offensive. It doesn't feel right in my mouth or my ear. I think it has to do with the baby-talk aspect of words that end with 'ee' or 'ie' or 'y'."

Scrambles to avoid white Doc Marten with
glittery bootlaces.


(sorry if this is double-posted. 'puter seems to be acting up)

small mouse creeps in,
looks up at assembled,
clears throat,
and says in authoritatively
squeaky voice,

"Ectually, I find the word 'tacky' itself to be offensive. It doesn't feel right in my mouth or my ear. I think it has to do with the baby-talk aspect of words that end with 'ee' or 'ie' or 'y'."

Scrambles to avoid white Doc Marten with
glittery bootlaces.


(sorry if this is double-posted. 'puter seems to be acting up)

On the subject of 'Txt mssgs' I think it's fine when used in texts, but looks very tacky when used outside, particuarly when large corporations use it for advertising.

Southern italian people who try to speak with northern italian accent.
(they always fail to do so!).

PS For non italians : Being northern italian is more fashonable.

Horazio from Venice.Italy.