h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How about the Royle Family 'Bog Set' available at retail outlets now?

Or any outdoor Christmas lights/moving santas...these just wierd me out. Moving Santas and Snowmen come alive at night and carry knives. Everyone knows that.

Inflatable chairs are nasty too.

Whilst I'm here, large gold creole earrings. On which planet are those fashionable'n'sophisticated?

Argh!

Fake plastic holly rubs me the wrong way. Maybe it reminds
me of that watercress (or whatever it was) I ate as a child,
with its pointed, barbed leaves.

Those square plastic containers that you put leftovers in seem
tacky, too. Fill a refrigerator with those, and you won't feel
like opening it ever again.

Those smooth, shiny all-polyester shirts that had zigzag
designs in lurid orange/purple/etc. seemed tacky. I kept
one on hand to wear with a mismatched tie for wear
on Halloween (so people would think I was pretending
to be a schmuck).

Brussells sprouts. I can't bear to eat them, not even
with parmesan cheese. They don't make good table
decorations, either. When neolithic peoples were
trying to decide which plants were vegetables and
which ones were weeds, how could they have failed
to realize that Brussells sprouts belong in
the weed category? I'm not going to blame the
Belgians for this one. Nobody anywhere really
liked this veggie, and they just attributed it to
Belgium because it couldn't retaliate.

Actually, plastic mistletoe is pretty revolting, too.
And you can add cheap plastic pearls to the list,
while you're at it.

(I'm sorry this list is so long. I'm sure I'll think
of more items later, but those will go in a
different thread.

How about those hair scrunchie things made of weird acrylic hair that are, allegedly meant to 'blend' (and I use that word in the broadest possible sense) with your own hair, but just look like a mattress factory has exploded somewhere near your head.

Talking of creole earrings, said scrunchies can usually be found in conjunction with these little beauties, along with tracksuits and high heels - mmmm!

I'm right with you on the sprouts issue - cauliflour can do one as well - hell spawn vegetable.

Track suits worn with high heels? Even the Boogey Man
would never stoop to that!

(Okay, I can picture Divine and Edith Massey in such
an outfit, but they were intentionally tacky )

You obviously haven't been to Swansea then.

That's quite true.

OOps! I really LIKE Brussells Sprouts and Cauliflower - but okra! Yeucch! Tacky is any of those polyester clothes that kind of glitter in the sunlight. Also elaborate athletic wear that is worn as street wear. Although I sympathize with the comfort, women in business dress with tennis shoes look ridiculous. Socks with sandals. Bermuda shorts with high dark socks. Any plastic shrubbery - especially if it is either dusty or faded - ditto silk flowers if not in PERFECT condition.

I agree about okra. It's an acquired taste, though I never
acquired it. 8)

Add my vote for the inflatable chairs.

As if the idea of blowing up your furniture isn't bad enough, they had to make it in colours like fluoro pink, orange and green!

...or been to Portsmouth, where Kappa is the national dress....

Last year I saw what looked like mounted bass in a store. The board it was mounted on had a red button on it. Push the button and the head and tail of this rubber fish moved forward and back while it played a song - forget what it was - REALLY LOUD! Of course I had to push the button! Another shopper laughed at me - very embarassing. Tacky, tacky, tacky!!!!

There was a singing rosebush in a flower pot
in a liquidation/railroad salvage store. It
sang some kind of rock song from the 1950s that
should have been buried while there was still a
chance of it going unnoticed and not embarrassing
the band that recorded it.

Hey, I like my inflatable chair. It's in a deep blue, has a headrest and armrests, and is pretty sturdy. Plus getting it for only $3.50 on a student budget helped too.

I shall never forget a Xmas shopping spree in Boots, Cardiff one year. I was calmly minding my own business and walked past some plastic trees when one of them suddenly opened a mouth and eyes from nowhere and started to sing of me. Needless to say, I jumped and screamed and now am scarred for life.

This just in: House down our way has a 5 foot tall moving Santa in the front room. There is just no excuse for that sort of behaviour. Those things come alive at night I tell you, and eat small children.

L

I shall never forget a Xmas shopping spree in Boots, Cardiff one year. I was calmly minding my own business and walked past some plastic trees when one of them suddenly opened a mouth and eyes from nowhere and started to sing of me. Needless to say, I jumped and screamed and now am scarred for life.

This just in: House down our way has a 5 foot tall moving Santa in the front room. There is just no excuse for that sort of behaviour. Those things come alive at night I tell you, and eat small children.

L

I can't stand christmas trees, fake or real, that get covered with fake snow. Tack-E! (though not quite as tacky as my previous spelling...). But I would take a fake snow-covered tree any day over a tinsel tree.

::shudders::

While we're on the subject of Christmas trees:
I'm not too keen on a lot of the holiday salt
and pepper shakers that are shaped like
Christmas trees.

ok, what about chris evans. has he ever done anything with a modicum of taste? not that i can remember, he sure has done a whole load of dumbed down nonsense though. whilst i'm on the subject of awful DJ's, and lets face it theres a lot of them, chris moyles. the man is just a tasteless idiot.

i see there was a lot of talk about track suits, but let's not forget the most tasteless and tacky piece of clothing ever invented is a very close relative to the tracksuit. of course i am referring to the truly dreadful shellsuit. thankfully they seemed to be very close to extinction, however a few last specimens can still be seen loitering in shopping centres and betting shops.

sticking to the easy targets why has nobody yet mentioned the cult of designer labels? my particular pet hates are clothes which have absolutely no design merits whatsoever but still proudly display the designer label for all to see. these are usually printed in large letters across the chest of an awful sweatsheet, on the front of a baseball cap or on the pockets of jeans. many brands have this tendancy but i feel the particularly guilty parties are CK, DKNY, Tommy Hillfigure, Timberland, Valentino and a myriad of other 'classy' brands.

mobile phones also have an array of tacky accessories to go with them, needless to say the phones themselves are horrid but at least they do serve a purpose. leatherette covers are putrid, especially when worn on the wasteband for all to see. and why on earth does anybody need a mobile phone holder, be it in the shape of a small hand or a little deck chair. why would anyone spend money on these things???????

Bill Bryson had a good idea for prominent designer labels: instead of Abercromie & Fitch, Tommy, Old Navy, or Gap they should read "I'm a big fat idiot".

On the tacky list: visible bra straps hanging out of women's tank tops. 'Nuff said.