h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Granny lands after ending aniseed trail at local dog pound, walks up behind Sea and adds the word FRIED to sign*

*turns around*

oh, hi, GW! i didn't see you come up.... just washing the walls and watering the plants...

Hello sea, *opens magic rucksak* have a , nice line in sign you've got on your back. Why don't you have it made into a t shirt?

sign? what sign?!

*rips sign off back*

ahh, well, i DO like fried dogs. that's the best way, you know. funny, i can't imagine where that came from... but you're right, it WOULD make a nice T shirt.

*A cacaphony of barking can be heard from the direction of the dog pound. It slowly increases in volume until a large pack of dogs can be seen following some sort of trail. The pack runs right up to the broom leaning against the wall, then mills about.*

*sea considers turning the hose on them*




*sea tries NOT to turn the hose on them*




*sea turns the hose on them*

*Humming the Ride of the Valkyries, Granny jumps on her trusty broom and overflies the milling pooches and activates the magnets that are attached to the net the canines are milling, peeing and sniffing on.

Changing her tune to 'The First Cut is the Deepest' Granny flies off to the vets *

~ A flight of Sopwith Pups on combat air patrol peels away and follows departing broomstick ~

~ Maverick air-2-air missiles are armed ~

~ The theme song from 633 squadron is heard ~

Tally-ho chaps - bunch of bananas on the ceiling. Lets get these kites moving.

er.... /yeah/....

i suppose this would be a good time to mention the 6 foot thick admantium-reinforced walls...

*hides behind pot plant, shooting at any random dogs that walk past*
^. .^
= ' =

~Mavericks are armed, programmed to `Broom-mode` and released~

~The missiles streak across the intervening distance between the Sopwiths and the Broom~

*A second Sopwith flys under the broom, ready to catch the net.*

granny! look out!

~the warning cry is lost is the roar of the rockets~

~the first maverick neatly snips the net`s hawser neatly dropping it`s cargo onto BBW`s pup`s upperwing~

~the second maverick flies straight up Granny`s exhaust. A dull thud and a sharp scream is heard. Onlookers cringe~

Blimey - that has to have hurt.

~the crippled broomstick spirals towards the ground. A singed pointed hat is seen to descend in flames. There is no sign of a parachute~

*BBW in a show of heroic sportsmanship, throws Granny his spare parachute. The dogs on his upper wing go wild.*

the person who invented the Sopwith plane was a slightly distant relative of mine...

*twangs a branch of a tree so niftily that any parachutes within twenty miles get tangled*
don't ask how.
^. .^
= ' =

*Granny flies on giggling as the decoy broom hits the ground*

It was only my second-worst hat after all

*as the little old lady prepares to land on the vets roof, Lawrence of Purrabia herds the Sopwith Camels off into the wide, blue yonder*

did i or did i not say *all* brooms in the area? if i didn't, i mean to.
^. .^
= ' =

oh. i said parachutes.
^. .^
= ' =