h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm into the FFTO, Vixen Division.

::: Official ACF Announcement :::

The Sarge has been captured and is presently being "entertained" in our lavishly equipped Country Retreat and Detention Centre at F76201?thread=171109&skip=0&show=20.

*a black figure sits in the corner quietly, eating an apple and looking around*

*suddenly, a new dog, a very shaggy Australian Shepard, appears next to the black figure.*
[Venom, to himself] D*mn, I do love this morph suit!

*A ceiling tile slides aside and another black-clad figure drops through*

*a warning light starts blinking in the Dog House control room. One of the Guardian Watch-Dogs takes note*

*Puts the remote alarm controller back in his pocket*

Okay, that's the diversion taken care of...

...what were we going to do next?

I think we should proceed as planned, Krans.

Mr. Red Dog? We have a proposal. *takes a pristine white envelope with "Mr. Red Dog" written on the front in flowing black fountain pen out of his pocket*... might we talk? We chose here, it being a nice quiet, civilised, uncrowded place to meet.

Looks at corroded robot fly he found on the floor.

Listens from undisclosed location through security system. Better communicate with RD through coded link: GOD DER MEHT TSURT TNOD!

MD

Of course if all else fails we can make up sophisiticated infallible means to capture all of the mercenaries who want to profit from this simple coup which caught a curious cat. (Hey, who needs a curiositizer when you have an ampty bag!) MYOB

*Listens to the earpiece at the end of the coil of flesh-coloured wire coming from his jumpsuit*

I think they're trying to capture us...

[Njan's and Krans's earpieces] yrnoisrevid kcatta, eht nugeb sah! ta eht llec: ytilicaf? acknowledge.

I think so.

This is most dismaying.

I thought the dogs were a professional, efficient organisation. All I came for was to have a private word with Red Dog, diversions aside. *puts envelope back in pocket*

we'll just have to take our proposition elsewhere, what, Krans?

*Australian shepard silently avoids capture by being a dog, while sending RD a coded communique to RD telling him that the package is not a bomb*

*there is a shimmering haze in the corner of the room which is quickly replaced by a rip in the timespace fabric that is generated from Canine Command. Once stabilised Red Dog steps through and then activates his personal controller collapsing the rip.*

Greetings and sincere apologies for the delay in responding to you all. ACF business IRL prevented me from giving you my immediate attention ... I hope you can forgive our lack of hospitality in the circumstances.

I have called for refreshments to be provided to us for our discussions. How may I be of service to you ?

Turning the alarms off would be nice. They're giving me a headache, and I think the batteries have gone in this thing.

*Shakes the alarm remote controller and bangs it against the ground*

Cybercat told me that she has left the Cat war, and handed in her notice to Sarge. Haven't checked yet though...

*nods in the affirmative to Smilodon and whispers into a lapel mike. In a moment the alarms are silenced*

Would it be possible to empty the immediate area of electronica, magica, and other assorted complications?

*Njan himself, as a gesture of goodwill, takes off a kevlar vest and a pistol belt, and takes a palmtop out of his pocket. All of these he deposits on a table in the corner*

*the shepard morphs into CV and hands RD a copy of his Declaration of Neutrality* And thanks for turning off the alarms, they were annoying. *in a similar gesture to Njan's, CV removes his pistol belt and kill-o-zap plasma rifle on his back*

*Smiles*
Those walls just don't have the same acustics they used to.....How you doing Red Dog?