h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Shadar Logoth. The Shadow's Waiting.

Once a prosporus city, Shadar Logoth collasped under the work of an evil councilor, spreading suspicion and hate throughout the city, until it effected everyone and everything. Then, one night, eveyone vanished. The stone towers sat silent. And the hate lived on...

Shadar Logoth is deadly to any who enter at night, and night prevails over all. The first danger is the curse of the city. Not a pebble isn't tainted with the evil and hate of the place, and carrying it more than a few days is fatal.

The second danger is Mashadar. Mashadar is like a living, almost sentient fog bank, which siphons the soul out of whatever it touches, killing instantly. It can't be killed, only driven away for a short while, and is attracted to large amounts of magic being used a once.

Last is the creatures that manage to still live in the ruined city. They are hideous, with scythe-like limbs and evil tempers. Not tough, but the stuff of nightmares.

Enter all who dare to battle here.

*sitting in the center of the city*

I wonder if anyone will show...

*The sun begins to set*

AHH! SOMETHING GREEN

*flees to the other side of the courtyard.*

AHHHHHH! Something not GREEN! AHHHHHHHH!
*Runs away like a frickin' idiot.*

*Runs away from evil looking wall*

Peeks in, instantly attracting a creepy-looking fog.


M: (in a deep, hollow voice, rather like the sound made by a log, but a creeeeepy log, not one of your standard, non-creepy logs that impresses nobody and is just as likely to be found in fairly fairy forests, with sweet little lambkins frisking about, although why lambkins would wand to frisk about a log is beyond THIS narrarator, but you know how those lambkins are )"Strong Magics!

Um...can we talk about this?

*stares*
I didn't know mashadar could talk...

*launches grappling hook into a tall tower, and swoops down. Wrapping an arm around Ex-Rambling, he drags the suprisingly light deity out of Mashadar's grasp(s).*

(scary thing) Hi!
(Myst) Um...
(scary thing) You play baseball?
(Myst) No...
(scary thing) *looking dissapointed* Oh well... guess I'll have to kill you now.
(Myst) Oh. *glances around* Bye! *Flees back to Goose, still carrying You-know-Who.

"Weeeeee! I'm Flying!. So, what's the game plan here? We battle the fog?"
*wriggles out of his grasp and summons up a huge fan, which is operated by a whell being turned by 666 Giant Hampster Zombies on Giant Hamster treadmills. The resulting hurricane disrupts the fog, chasing it away for a while. As the fog disperses, it calls out
"I'll be back!"*

Nice. Oh, and if a nice looking man offers you treasure, run very, VERY fast. I'll tell you why as soon as I find out where the complete story for this place is...
Robert Jordan's "Wheel Of Time"

O.K., boys, you can go now."
Slips them 666 Giant Hampster Zombie treats and they fade.

notices a movement out of the corner of her eye. Mightmarish creatures are milling about the edges of the thread. They have long, scythe-like arms, are in a bad mood, and have absolutely no sense of humor. (They're conservative republicans)

And she doesn't know any of them.

Oh, oh.

*feels like crying*

Stupid politicans...

*shakes his head, and realizes, hey! I'm a stinkin' assassin! And my blowgun's automatic!*

*Whips out blowgun, and uses a heavy seditive*
*they collapse*

I'll watch...

*begins to kick bodies*

Loots bodies. Comes up with a union card, 3 severed heads, 4 pairs of brass knuckles, the missing minutes from the Nixon Tapes, Several documents that Ollie North and that Enron B***er only Thought they had shredded, a volumn of Vogon poetry, Jimmy Hoffa, Amelia Airheart, a copy of Babes Magazine, a sandwich made out of Mystery Meat, 6 poison darts, 2 sub machine guns and a lifetime supply of Turtle Wax. t.m.
Opens up a flea market.

You want those darts?

they cost 12 Rupies, sahib.

Are you battling now?

*looks up*
It's called haggling, but if you want to battle, we're always game. I wonder if Goose is still alive to fight?

*A lawyer walks by*

AHHHH!

I would, but as the BoG Champ, it won't count on your points... but if you get three wins I'd be happy to defend my title. Would have to wait till Apollo gets back to tally up, though...

I really don't care about points. So there.