h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Are, this is the bit about getting run over on the next zebra crossing ?

Or insulting the next nun you see?

Or the next penguin you see. They, as in nuns, fulfill both the promise of blackness and whiteness.

I always thought that it was Nuns and not Penguins that had blackness and whitness, as in "What's black and white and red all over? A nun in a blender."
What confuses me is why people would want Nuns in a blender anyway? Surely they'd just make it dirty and red? Also, is it some kind of punishment for the nuns? And why do they wear black and white?
Is it that they are confused whether to where a light or dark grey? And do they enjoy being put in the blender?
I would think it is paniful.

And there I was thinking the answer to that conundrom was always a newspaper. How wrong I can be.

However, I believe you're very wrong about a nun dirtying the blender. It's in their very nature to be pure and clean

If you get a clean bit of paper and run a pen across it, it might turn out black and white, just as long as you have a black pen.

I'm always confused....

ineptness, indifference, quite often the profile of the united states
government.

Or just the entire United States.
Americans are so confused all the time, they can't even spell "colour".

Or "favourite".

Or 'lorry'

And they call trousers pants. Why? Did they just forget they were called trousers and went for the next thing they could remember?

By the looks of it, I'd say yes.
And there's that thing with the boot and the bonnet.

They say 'stores' instead of 'shops'. Foolish Americans.

And why use back-yard, when garden seems perfectly reasonable.

And why use the toilet when the garden is perfectly adequate?
I shouldn't have said that, should I?

and why use toilet roll, when there's plenty of leaves on the tree's, exactly, there is a reason...

Do you mean to say, that's where the Golgafrinchans went when the built that raft?

The golgofrinchans didn't go anywhere, in fact, your talking to them now, and if you look in the mirror, you'll see one, or at least one of their ancenstors. (or did they die of lack of funds for their documentaries...) I never can tell....

Incidentally, and this is entirely off topic from Americans and stuff, go to this page
http://www.h2g2.com/A85213
and see if you can win the prize. The instructions and, er, stuff are there.