h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Nor do I.

I think a 'Figgin's a kind of thing. I could be wrong though.

Let me go look for our big dictionary

Isn't it that thing? You know, sort of, like, yeah.

A figgin is a small barrel of beer, when its empty, as in....that figgin's empty.....

I thought that was a firkin?

I don't know! Haven't found the dictionary.

I know a fikin is a barrel capable of containing 9 gallons of liquid....

Well, according to dictionary.com there is no such word as figin nor figgin.....

One could almost say "It doesn't figgin exist!"

Friggin' and riggin' as in doing one in the other, a figgin however must be a cross over, instead of Friggin' in the Riggin' a sailors term for Doing it among the rig of a sailboat.

A `Figgin` is described in the Dictionary of
Eye-Watering Words as a `small short-crust
pastry containing raisins`. The Dictionary
would have been invaluable to the Supreme
Grand Master when he thought up the
Brotherhood`s oaths, since it includes welchet:
`a type of waistcoat worn by clock-makers`:
gaskin: `a shy, grey-brown bird of the coot family`
and moules: `a game of skill and dexterity, involving
tortoises`

Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett Scene 3 Page 15

Yep, no doubt, he's confused !

I knew i'd seen it somewhere.

Now *I'm* confused.

What am I confused about?

You are truly confused. A true state of confusion can only be reached when even the nature of that confusion becomes confused. This is know as confused confusion, and is best treated by lying down in a dark room until simple confusion is reinstated. Hope this helps.

If you're that confused, how cna you say for certain it's a dark room? You could be confused about light and dark.

Well, if anyone here has found themselves seeing in the dark owing to total confusion I'd like to hear from them for inclusion in my new book (Totally Confused Nutters Who Think They Can See In The Dark).

Hell, sign me up. It's so dark in here I'm getting sun spots in front of my eyes.