h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The tall ship sitting in Monaco Harbor could hardly have expected it.
Suddenly The Blood of the Zaphodistas pulls along side and 's are swarming on board. flies everywhere as the swarthy crew makes it's way to the nerve centers of the ship.

*a bunch of peg-legged people swarm on the ship with bags of swag*

** sticks on a label with "official looter" and heads for the storage room **

Oh goodie! The three "p"s!!

*s, pillaging & plundering*

*whips out her shiny, deadly yet appropriate for spring cutlass*



Are we taking any hostages?

*walks onto the bridge and beats up the crew with a Oragami type Kung fu, then walks out carrying a lovely gold pen*

All this pirating has made me hungry. I think I will go plunder the buffet

:: off to plunder the cabin of the captains daughters ::

Can someone check out the liquor stocks, and plunder me some single-malt whisky? ... not for myself, you understand, just to top up the alcohol in the compass ... purely medicinal, and all that ...

captain's daugter #3: what was that noise

: oh, don't worry about it honey

captain's daughters #1, #2 and #4:

Likker storr sjekked, ze zingel mald is .

** grabs full bottle of Laproi..., lafroae.. (who cares) Talisker and returns to the Blood **

18 years, good age for malt,
and captains daughters

Hmmm... that's odd, I heard the captain only had sons. Exactly how much did Pierce have to drink before he boarded the other ship?

*Swings from the Blood's Pelican's Nest and entangles herself in the Party Ship's rigging*

Oh ! *Struggles free and climbs quickly down. Draws her knife out of her boot and glares at the cowering passengers and crew of the Party Ship.*

BBBBBBBBBBBwwwwwah-ha-ha-ah-ah - ah! Stand and deliver! Give us your shuffleboard, the jazz band we heard playing, your multi-position deck reclining chairs, the grand piano from the dining room, and your funny souvenir hats.

you heard wrong, michelle

trust me

shagbark grabs new radio and sets it to the frequency of the Blood
Kes, can you hear me? How many boards did you want me to bring you?

There was a lumberjack on the ship somewhere although I may have beat him up during the red mist!!!

*throws a couple of cranes at some goons*

::sings the lumberjack song whilst relaxing in the captains daughters cabin:

i wish i were a girlie, just like my sweet papa

I heard there's a granary downstairs full of the resources needed to make all sorts of booze, although the person who said that was begging for mercy, so it's not a reliable source!!!

*Struggles collapsable deck chairs into a dinghy.*

Oh!

I've hit the jackpot! There must be at least 14 cases of those lovely little paper umbrella's they use for their fru-fru drinks. 12 gross of sword shaped plastic toothpicks for the drink garnishes. 40 jars of marischino cherries, 100 industrial sized jars of olives stuffed with pearl onions, almonds & jalapeno peppers... and 23 bottles of blue ouzo!

Woohoo!!!

Quckly, is there a wine expert in the house???