h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

there's something y going on in here

i wonder if i should let a few of our big s loose to see if they can find any stowaways

Don't worry Capting Pinscher, it's only Slacknackers over there, i'll deal with him...

*takes Shagbok somewhat more firmly by the elbows this time and escorts him back to the waiting dumbwaiter.*

*After pressing the requisite buttons to transport him back to the Pelicans Nest, or wherever it is that Bagelshark roasts all those poor squirrels, Alec thoughtfully also presses the 'Defrost' button.*

There, about 6 minutes should do it...

*waves to Shagbarack through the glass panel just as the dumb waiter launches the obviously completely barking pirate skyward in a cloud of expanding steam.*

erm...anyone else thirsty?


alec.

after seeing that i'm not staying to watch what you'll do to robyn

*wakes up*

cor, nothin like the smell and sound of pounding engines to help one get an excellent night's sleep. Morning!

The door to the corridor opens and a pggb floats in and comes to rest on the steel punch cabinet.

|||__________|||

howdy

*removes the jumble of letters from atop the 'slap-on' rollaway steel punch cabinet...(we're in goo here, still can't see a )
...Alec opens the Shackleton drawer and removes the bottle of ancient Mildenhall Grenadan Rum*

*A small diamond plate hatch in the top of the steel punch cabinet slides noiselessly to one side and the juicer appears freshly loaded with papaya, mango and cashew fruit*

Well, it's Saturday afternoon, it's hurricane season, it's raining...anyone need any further excuses to join me in a tall glass or three of 'Hangmans Punch ' ??



alec.

Appears

sorry you can't see the < pggb >

I'd love one of those cocktails Alec!

Lanzababy you are most welcome to join me, but i warn you...this is no 'cocktail'.

This is what a certain government hangman and I drank in a bar at the top of a hill every evening at sundown for more than a week whilst he was waiting for the 'go-ahead' to come from the prison next door.

From our vantage point we could see two Royal Navy frigates waiting offshore, just in case there was any trouble.

The effect of thisis more akin to being swatted by a python than being fluttered by chicken feathers.

It does not come with a little umbrella.

alec.

My! you do have a way with words Alec

sips the punch carefully...


...all this fruit makes it seem nutritious ....


hic!

*readies the python*

while everyone is looking the other way shagbark drops a couple five pound notes on the diamond plated hatch with Alec Trician's picture on one side of the note and a sick squid on the back.

*There is the sound of rending metal as the diamond-plate hatch suddenly buckles and blows open with an extremely noisy sort of metallic '! BANG !' thingy...*

An LCD screen on the instrument panel lights up with a warning :

DANGER.HI.PX!.BCKLG.TNK#17.
IS ABT.2.BLO!
RUN4YRLIVES!
...NO
...W8
...PX.RTRND.2.NORML.
...SRRY...DDNT MN 2 FR8N U
ER...WLD U LIKE ME 2 + THIS 8M 2 YR M8NCE SCHED ??

*Snackbar slides noiselessly to one side and falls, unnoticed, into the open backlog tank.*

*Somewhere inside the 'Slap-On' Rollaway Steel Punch Cabinet...a python begins to uncoil itself.*

! Whoah ! Anyone ready for another Hangmans Punch ? ????

The second one was always even better than the first...I'm trying to remember what else The Hangmans Barman put in it.

alec.

(hmm...perhaps I shouldn't have used the old microprocessor from the Talkie-Toaster to run the Tank Alarm System).

oh - go on then Alec - I'll join you for another of those fruity punches. The first one has worn off now - it only took about three days or so

by the way, I thought I heard a robotic voice coming from down here.

never mind that, lanzababy. if we should pay attention to all the strange noises and sights and other strange thingies happening on this here vessel we would be too busy to drink

don't mind if i do, alec, but hold the fruit, i hear it is high on calories

i could use some now