h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*She unpacks her dufflebag, carefully stowing all loose objects into drawers that lock. Besides her clothing she has artist's supplies: sketchbooks, canvas, paints, pencils, etc.*

*knock-knock*

Ahoy there! I wonder if you could paint the mesane mast?

( *In the comapnion-way, having just left Cabin #17 *)
Right. I wonder if anyone else is on board yet. Ah! There's a light showing under the door of the next cabin on this side - #15.
*Knocks, then opens door*
Hello there, old chap! *Looks more carefully* Sorry - that should be "chap-ess"! I'm Kes - navigation, general maths and jolly music. *Looks at brushes etc.* You must be the ship's painter ... or with brushes that size, more likely the ship's artist ...

Aye, Captain sir... I will get right onto the painting of the mast. If you'll show me where the supplies are kept? What color do you fancy?

*shakes Kes's hand...* Yes, I am an artist. Its nice to meet you. Navigation, maths and piano? I bet you like Bach.

Yes, I do ... though I wonder whether all the crew will take to it, instead of the usual sea-shanties! Ah well, we shall see. Must dash - going to take a look on deck! bye!

*mutters to himself: little does he know he will have to play good oldfashioned Storyville barrelhouse blues instead of Bach tomorrow, when we'll be celebrating the 100. birthday of Louis "Satchmo" Armstrong*

Colour, matey? Well, you're the expert, I guess. What would *you* suggest? Bright red?

Captain sir, are you a fan? Look at my cds! I have Louis and Ella singing together, Louis alone, Louis Greatest Hits! He's one of the all time greats.

Oh, I'm a fan allright! I believe I have a broad taste in music. From Albinoni to ZZ Top. That sort of thing. Satchmo may not be the artist I listen to most of the time, but I think noone can deny the fact that he was one of the finest musicians of the last century - maybe the finest, who can tell?

He also had a great personality!

Did you ever read Mezz Mezzrow's "Really the blues"? I guess Mezz was Armstrons biggest fan ever!

*knocks and enters*

How do you all do? I'm Wowbagger, of no fixed position as of yet, though I have a broad range of shipboard talents and, Bob willing, I'm of some use to everyone.

*looks around and notes that this cabin seems larger than his. Must be the interiior decorating, he concludes.*

She sure knows how to handle a paint brush, doesn't she?

*tries to sit on a chair - and realises (too late) that it was only another mural* Ouch!

Oh dear! Captain, sir! Are you alright?

No, I haven't read that book. Hello, Wowbagger... would you give me a hand with helping the Captain up?

*Knocks on Mari's cabin door*

Hi Mari!

*Wanders in, stepping on the prostrate Cap'n*

Heavens! What lumpy floors there are aboard this vessel! I'm on my way to the bridge to find the Cap'n and seem to have got a bit lost...Am I heading in the right direction?

As long as you stepped on the prostrate captain Gwennie and not the captains...

*helps mari-rae get the captain up*

Whatever brand or rum you're drinking cap'n, I suggest you either change brands or drink more of it - it doesn't seem to be doing you much good in it's current state.

Hey Wowbagger!

Prostrate/prostate...What's the difference?

Either way, our cap'n appears to be incapacitated!

Thanks, Wowbagger! Is the Captain ok? Hi Gwennie! Do you have an assignment on board yet? Hang on...

*Opens her duffle and extracts a largish bottle of rum and packets of peanuts. Pours out drinks and shares the peanuts.*

Yo-ho-ho! Try to keep the shells off the bed, though. Thanks!

*Flicks a peanut shell into Wowbagger's drink*

Mari!

*grabs the bottle and takes a large swig*

Not to worry, mates, nothing wrong with this captain. You will be astonished to learn how many spare parts the ships carpenter has made for me over the years.

*Opens the door* Did someone mention rum? Don't mind if I do .....

Here you go then - and there's enough where that came from

Careful! Its that 151 stuff... lethal in large quantities... Have some peanuts too!