h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Mall Security Guards - A5782908
Author: Fordsrubish - U2058580

MALL SECURITY GUARDS:
The motto to being a mall security guard is "Observe and Report". Most Mall security officers do not have the power to arrest, simply to dettain. With the exception that certain areas invest the right for security officers to make lawful arrests, making them equal in stature to a county sheriff. The point of security guards is to enforce a companies or an organizations policies if necessary to protect lives, property, or to keep peace.Security guards are often required to have experience in emergency equipment, first aid, and be able to write nots, make reports, and any other specifications required by thier employer.

EMPLOYMENT:
Although security guards are a distinct type of personnel from either police officers or the military, in the United States a very high proportion of security personnel, including most senior management personnel, are either former or retired members of one of both services. Many security guards who don't fit this profile (young people in particular) use the job as a springboard into a police career.

ARMORY:
This section is a little sad, a security guard is not as well equiped, as lets say........ Rambo. A mall security guard is epuiped with the standard weapons. Those being a can of spry-mace, a 9mm pistol, only in some cases, a communication radio, and any other gadgets that a guard might need eg. extra ammunition or a specific tool to fit the need of his or her employer.

IN SOCIETY:
As a result of being an enforcement figure, the mall security guard is met with much critcism. This is due partly for two reasons, the youths lack of respect for authority, and the guards being jerks thinking thier all hot stuff and annoying the crap out of happy shoppers. Both are unavoidable results of this position of limited power. Most mall security guards are also known as "rent-a-cops" which is reall not true at all, they have a salary that they are paid. Although the optional reflective vest does give off the impression that they as much power as an elementary school crossing guard. All in all, the mall security guard has become both a teen symbol of authority and an adult symbol of a dead end job.

So what does everyone think, I believe its a bit comprehensive, wouldnt you say?

spelling / typos :

firstly, replace the " with '

dettain ---> detain
enforce a companies or an -- a company's
peace.Security ----> peace. Security
to write nots, ---> notes
by thier employer --->their


as well equiped ---> equipped
guard is epuiped ---> equipped
can of spry ---> spray

much critcism ---> criticism
thier all hot ---> they're

some of us would prefer the word crap removed

which is reall not true --> really

All good proofreading suggestions!

On top of that, as this is a guide that may be accessed by foreign or alien visitors, you may want to describe what a 'mall' is, and where they are often likely to be found.

hey I fixed those spelling errors, thanks alot man.

well, I figure someone else has made a mall entry that an alien can search. and besides, a typical out of this world visitor, would search mall, first then serch serurity guard as a related link. think about it, please call me flip, it cool to meet you Fords towel

Hiya Flip!

Yes, good idea. You can create a link to the other entry (on malls), with Mall as the keyword. That would be Perfect!!

my AOL screenname is Fordprefect16...... If you ever get bored

Hi Fordrubish,

There are a couple of good edited guide entries on malls. Since you are fairly new here you may not know how to make links to them. Don't panic. If your articles is selected for the edited guide, your sub-editor will take care of that for you.

I can't believe they let mall security guards carry guns! Even the police aren't allowed do that here in Ireland.

Yes, Gnomon. As Robin Williams once put it (whilst speaking of London's bobbies), all they can do is yell "Stop, Or I'll, .... shout Stop again!"

Well, I think that, once British bobbies, security guards etc routinely start to carry fire-arms, we will be on the downward slope to anarchy. Fire-arms should be unavailable to the general public without a VERY good legitimate reason (farmers etc) Furthermore, replica fire-arms (should be banned for sale in toy shops. (In retrospect, my mother was a very enlightened lady because she wouldn't allow myself or my 5 brothers to have toy guns)

my mum wouldn't let me have toy guns either

Personally I am worried that these mall security guards have guns (off to the us for a few months next week). I'll try not to annoy them

>>hey I fixed those spelling errors, thanks alot man.

there are still some of those errors in the entry

Even the two unofficial police officers at my school carry guns - they're not normal US police, just some random guys that work for a company that's supposed to keep schools safe.

And you feel really safe when you see them walking around school with their guns and occasionally a bulletproof vest.

There are armed rent-a-cop security guards in several supermarkets here... but that's just Texas for you

We could do with those sometimes in our English schools sometimes, EMR (not armed though; that'd be going too far). I keep tellingsome of my unruly pupils that in civilised countries like the USA, they have guards in the classroom to chuck 'em out. It's not a teacher's responsibility!

Our school has what they call an "on-call"; there's a rota of Senior Management Team staff who take it in turns (depending on when they're not teaching) to respond to disturbances in classrooms, as it were. Now, if *they* were given guns, it would be interesting to see how much longer the discipline problems lasted

Well, just the cane would do the trick (Oops, politically incorrect remark s)

Hey guys...back to the entry with your commentary pleae

This entry needs things doing to it and judging by the people in this thread, y'all will be great at it

Kat