Congratulations Madam President
The Results of the election are as follows
Round 1: Joe C 0%/0 votes
Round 2: None of the above 0.48%/1vote
Round 3: Terran 0.96%/2 votes
Round 4: Darth Zaphod 1.44%/3 votes
Round 5: Dragon Queen 2.42%/5 votes
Round 6: Fords and Mina 2.9%/ 6 votes
Round 7: Black Leopard 4.37% 9 votes
Round 8: Serephina 5.94% 12 votes
Round 9: Reddyfreddy 7.14% 14 votes
Round 10: Clive the Flying Ostrich 11.58% 22 votes
Round 11: Jack 13.66% 25 votes
3rd place: Gnomon 22.29% 37 votes
2nd place: 2legs 22.89% 38 votes
PRESIDENT: Hypatia 54.82% 91 votes
So the speeches are done, the Champagne drunk, hootoo has it's next president and the accusations start to fly. Minutes after the victory was announced recounts were being demanded as Cal and Dr E Vibenstein were arguing the toss. Later more serious allegations were made, 2legs was accused of refusing to see through his promises of cake and sexual favours for votes. The head of The Post has been offered a yacht and land for support for the new administration. The day after the election we had this note from 'One of Our Correspondants' who will hereby be known as 'Sore Throat'CROZ IN ELECTION COUNT SCANDAL!
I was shocked and dismayed when several photos of Croz in compromising positions landed on my desk this morning. Not to mention the photos that suggest that he may have been bribed into fixing the hootoo election result
The photos in question show Croz accepting packages of what looked like yellow feathers from the Hypatia, Gnomon and 2legs campaign managers
What does this mean? Does Croz have a yellow feather addiction? Is he planning on making a huge yellow feather boa and taking up a new career as a drag queen?
Anyone who is able to provide further information on this will be paid handsomly by The Post and be given the key to Jimsters biscuit tin
REMEMBER! THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE
We at the Post are shocked by this revelation that the elections have been tainted by such scandal and you can trust us as over the following weeks we will be following these allegations, so subscribe to The Post.
So back to other news and the sad news of the death of Ronnie Barker who will be sadly missed after making so many of us laugh for so many years. Congratulations to Fernando Alonso on becoming the youngest F1 World Champion ever (something I predicted at the start of the season).
I suppose I should say something about the football. We're going to the World Cup woohoo *Mutters about nothing but ing footy on the telly for weeks on end*. My personal dislike for the 'Beautiful Game' aside, well done to Sven and the lads. Who here thinks we can add the Football World Cup to the Rugby World Cup and the Ashes? Anyone? Come on there must be someone out there. Anyone? Anyway, enough drivel from me and on with the show, enjoy this weeks' Post
P.S. Please can you get items for the next issue to us by Sunday 23rd October. The deadline has been extended to Sunday Night rather than Lunchtime. Send all items to the Post Team Email. We'll take anything you think h2g2 should know about.