h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As you can see in this thread: F76461?thread=1110478&skip=85 , the Evil Army, which Hypatia is going make the official h2g2 army if she wins, is planning to attack various locations on the site after the election. At this time it is unknown if this will is part of a dictatorial campaign should she win, or revenge for losing the election. Clearly, Hypatia must be disqualified!

I haven't got time to find the proper thread, but I think it's in the one you linked to that Hyp made perfectly clear that she would not be using the EA for offensive purposes - possibly defensive, but the EA would be allowed to carry on whatever offensive operations that it would normally undergo. Just like the Terranic Army or... whatever.

You're really grasping at straws aincha?

- EvilClaw


As you can clearly see from this statement, I like pie.

GodBen, according to a statement in that thread, you have 'godly smiting powers over eunuchs, ducks, doors, and car dealerships.' How can you hope to claim the moral high ground when you viciously smite poor little ducks , innocent and possibly quite friendly doors, and men who have already lost something very dear to them?

(The desire to smite car dealers is, admittedly, more understandable. )

*Puts on his 'Press' hat and writes this down*

Slow news year.

It's either this or a turkey in America who got into a univercity.

All lies! All lies!

*~* Measured response from Hypatia, candidate for the Ozark Party, to GodBen, spokesperson for the We're So Desperate We'll Try Anything Party *~*

Ahem. I have read your spurious, somewhat hysterical charges. They are without merit and therefore I feel I should respond.

My relationship with the Evil Army is one of mutual respect. I do indeed plan to name them as the official presidential army if I am elected. If you are trying to cause me to distance myself from them with this unwarranted attack, you will not succeed. They shall guard Alabaster House and the members of my administration from attack. They are a wonderfully well-oiled defensive machine. What they do on their own time is their business, not mine.

However, I have a degree of sympathy for GodBen, having spent many campaigns in the past working my heart our for losing candidates. I understand that frustration and feelings of hopelessness often lead to desperation. I shall therefore limit any further formal response to the totally fabricated charges to my favorite quotation from Opus, one of our great contemporary philosophers.

Pffffittttt!

Deny it all you wish, but I'm on to you.

Huh! GodBen, I'll bet you're persecuting some poor little duck even as you make these spurious allegations!

Ormy, I'm trying not to think about the ducklings.

Those ducks deserve it, as can be shown by this clip: http://pip.rubberfeet.org/stuff/ducks.html

First you slander me, and now you are propagandizing against little ducks "what never did you no harm."

Have you no shame? Look where your ambition is leading you.

*looks in desk drawers for the name of a deprogrammer...finds business card*

Here we go.
Everret Eversham's Evil Eradicators
Deprogramming and Cajun Barbecue
Political Operatives our Specialty

It is all too clear now that a vote for Jack and GodBen is a vote for shameless waterfowl abuse. I have a terrible mental picture of a proud mother duck leading her darling little fluffy brood on a walk beside a pond - only for a lightning bolt to flash down on them from above, leaving nothing behind but a few scorched feathers and a savagely cackling GodBen opening the orange sauce.

! GodBen! How could you!

Duck abuse of any kind is unfortunate, but to flaunt it like that and be so smug about it...... It breaks your heart.

About the power to smite doors,
Does it have anything to do with the doors that talk in the Hitchhikers' Guide? Because if so, that is pretty awesome! I want that power! Gimme, Gimme, Gimme!

Die!

Its not power to smite doors per se, but he is the god of doors so... he has power over them.

As long as that power is evil.

I'm still not sure whether godben is a evil god or not. I'm leaning towards "apathetic and lazy"

EC hit it right on the nose!