h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

(Narrator)
The next morning, in the stable, Percy and the beautiful white horse called Pressilla, are laying back enjoying a large Havana Cigar each...

(Percy)
"My favorite Havana cigar; How did you know?"

(Pressilla)
"Well that is a womans intuittion.. Anyhow, they are my favorite cigar too, and my previous love; Elvis the stallion liked them, and I had a few left over."
Pressilla gives a whistful look at the thought of Elvis..

(Narrator)
Meanwhile, back inside the Hovel;

[Jerry Springer scout]

*takes notes*

[Jerry Springer scout]
*is pulled behind a bush, george w. bush*

[Jerry Springer scout]
*is pulled behind a bush, george w. bush*

(George W Bush)
" I want a dictonary that the Oh, I shouldent be here"

(Narrator)
The Hovel seems very still in the early evening light, but as yet no sign of the two questing adventurers has emerged from the Hovel; well, maybe a few moans and groans, and what sounds rather like a

[Voltear] (Speaker of Knowledge in Adventuring)


If one needs answers for the unknown, I may be able to help george W. Bush

(Percy)
"neigh"

(Pressilla)
"What, how long, are you sure"

(percy)
"neigh neigh, neigh neigh neigh!"

(Pressilla)
"well I never, as many as that, as long as that, its beyond belief..."

(Elvis)
"I'm all shook up"!

(Narrator)
Within the Hovel, the Knight moves towards the Lady again and puts his

[Lady of Shalott]

*sees that the knight has fallen asleep, again. She leaves the hovel*

My life! My hair!! Now where did I leave that bottle of conditioner?

*she wanders to a nearby stream to sort her life out*

Tell her to watch out for the many eating gold fish because no one ever expects the gold fish to be the culprit. After all, they're attracted to the conditione.

Tell her to watch out for the many eating gold fish because no one ever expects the gold fish to be the culprit. After all, they're attracted to the conditioner.

[Lady of Shalott]

*Steps into the water, unaware of the goldfish.
She shampoos and rinses her hair.
Then out comes the bottle of conditioner*

Whoops, I've just dropped some conditioner down my leg.

*She continues to massage her scalp, while goldfish begin to swim towards the smell of the conditioner*

*Gold fish are getting closer. The smell of conditioner is over-powering. They approach with the taste of flesh in tiny little mouth. Gold fish sense prey as conditioner starts to disperse along the surface of the water*

(Sir Knight)
"hay hoe!, watch out for the flesh-eating gold- they are going for your leg; attracted by all that conditioner you are wasting!!!"

(Narrator)
The Knight saves the Beautiful Lady from the flesh-eating fish; but will she be pleased?

(Sir Knight)
"sorry I overslept; you wore me out last night!"
"Any sign of the dwarfs yet?"

Is she pleased, he who warns of flesh-eating fish certainly hopes so.

[Lady of Shalott]

Of course I'm pleased you saved me.

*The sound of Hi-Ho approaches*

[Dwarf 1]

Ehem! Excuse me for interupting.

*Knight realises that in his rush to save the Lady he forgot to put his armour back on*

*Lady places herself discreetly in front of the knight*

[Lady of Shalott]

I'm sorry for laughing Knight, but you do look funny with it removed for moderation!

[Dwarf 2]

*stares at Lady's legs*

[Lady of Shalott]

It's hair conditioner!!!

(Sir Knight)
"you don't know the Lady of Shalott like I do she can have, and often does have, a nasty turn, even if I have just saved her life (again) if you ask me she is too highly strung, either that or its PMT"

Be gone evil dwarfs, the lady and are somewhat busy so please spare us your pesterring.

*knight glad that lady has stepped in front, and so uses thios time to partially cover himself with a piece of armour.

My lady shall we leave this place and rid ourselves of these tiny pests?

[Lady of Shalott]

Like I told you before, I'm no longer interested in becoming a deeper character with interesting emotions and PMT, I'm back to the one dimensional stereotype you originally met. And I am very grateful that you saved my life (again), I'm just a little concerned that you're developing a mutiple personality syndrome.

(Sir Knight in the all-together!)
"I thought the Dwarfs were going to help us in our quest to kill the dragon and allow us to rid the land of the dark force, and be rullers of it all?"

That is very interesting, just don't use conditioner.

(By the way, one dimensional is much easier. Gold-fish are dangerous but no one believes me. I don't know why?)