h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*wasnt that young i was 12 my marriage is that of a consented one

[Merlin]Nyad.. Dryad..??? Now I know I'm not a wonder in biology but how do you marry a creature that lives inside a tree?

[note for researchers: our Nyad queen obviously refers to "The Dryad" by Hans Christian Andersen (1868)]

no i are world they live in the woods in the southern area of the outskirts of my kingdom they have since expanded to the southern part of my world whereas we rule the north if the marriage was to be put forward we would rule the whole of my land

[Merlin]Ah, I see .. Both races would rule your world.. and what would happen to the Naugas? I quite like them (looks at his furniture).

[Note for researchers: in the same world as Nyads and Dryads live the Naugas. The small chameleon-like creatures known as Naugas™ have long been known as the source of beautiful and durable fabrics that look like fine, soft leather. And since Naugas shed their hydes without harm to themselves, the fabrics they help make came to be known as Naugahyde®, The Cruelty Free Fabric™. They do have a website but it is cluttered with advertisements.]

well we would be the 'rulers' but the naugas would have the rainforests on the equator and they would be portected exept all the land would be able to be undebateble

[Merlin.. for two seconds lost in thought.. decides that his flourishing Naugahyde trade will probably benefit from political stability in the Nyad-Dryad region]

Oh, well.. that is settled then.. So when is the wedding to be?

in 1 week i was here to get my powers back then back to planning ahhhhh

Heyyy One week to go.. So what'll your last week of freedom be?
Let's go on a tour to visit the Yeti monastry? or to the castle AAAaaaarrrgghhh? The kingdom of Amber?

i prefer to stay here with my school buddy and beachball *turns merlin into a beachball and then wears a blue skin tight catsuit*

[While Merlin changes into a -relatively friendly- dragon, quitely breathing flames.]

Noooosssss... a gamesssssss isssssssss welllllssssss but not the beachssssssssballsssssssssssssss

[Merlin briefly thinks of changing into a unicorn but decides not to]

*changes into a turquoise unicorn with wings and playfully buts merlin while thinking about turning him into a beach ball again*

[Merlin quickly shoots a few photographs to sell to National Geographic.. turquoise unicorn are very rare! He'd maybe do an article in Wizard and Dragon]

[Meanwhile the wizard changes into the only creature that can actually make an unicorn shudder with fear.. alas the moderators would not allow even a vague description.. there IS a limit to the horrors we can present our readers]

Hello my lovely.. I wanted to meet you for a long, long time

{the door explodes; in storms a special squad of the wizpolice.. the unit that monitors illegal or immoral wizardry}
You there! STOP THAT! Unicorns are a protected species!

[Merlin] How would you know? you cannot see unicorns!

[WizPol officer] Oh yes I can!

[Merlin] Oh no you can't!

[WizPol officer] CAN!

[Merlin] CANNOT! AND keep your filthy paws of her!!

{and there they stand.. in the middle of the hall.. white fists clenched, red faces shouting.. A fabulous looking unicorn looking very surprised.. Salvador Dali should have seen this..}

*changes back*
exscuse me kind sir but as i am a queen i have full right and a i also have a writ from the counsel here to transform into anything and me and merlin were playing
in my land the unicorn thrives it is only you #humans and youre interfearing was begone with you *turns around waiting for merlins response*

[ wizpol officer.. now getting more and more uncertain.. in a weak attempt to save his *** ]But you were threatening a...

[Merlin now makes the rumbling sound of a volcano] bburr ..sorry .. [.. better]
SO that give you the right to lay your filthy paws on an underage unicorn... WELLLLLL????
[actually the concept of underage unicorns is not clear.. it is not known when (or if at all) unicorns can be regarded as adults or even as underage for that matter. Even the suggestion of attempted rape of an underage unicorn means severe punishment in all known civilisations]

[Merlin appears to be very, very angry.. beware of rattlesnakes and angry wizards]AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!

[Merlin raises hands and ]WHAMMM [the wizpol officer flies out of the window leaving only the smell of burning pants and a faint smell of garlic]

[Merlin, now perfectly calm]Never mind that my dear.. this happens almost every day to him..

dont be nasty he wasnt to know *turns into a small dragon and whistle's in merlins ear*

[]Tickles.. sparks in my ears.. []

you'llget burnt ear hair if youre not careful

Wizard ears are SO sensitive.. [and that 's why the wizard carefully takes the dragonette of his shoulder and.... throws her in the air, at the same time transforming himself in a dragon as well....]

Let's do the Northern Light?

[Note for researchers: the flight of a dragon always makes the air glow... little is known of the physical background of this.. for sure it is not depending on the dragon's diet. Dragons in groups, even in pairs, can easily make the air over half a continent glow. (and full size dragons can easily set a large city on fire... read about it in Tolkien's Hobbit if you don't believe me)]

i think that people freak out when people do that.
*the dragonet curls up in merlins chair*