h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

And all the girls are called Sheila LOL

(warning.... language may offend)
Two Kiwi guys are working at the top of a high rise building site in New Zealand.
Any way, Phil turns to Mick & says "I've gotta take a piss, but there's nowhere to go."
"Walk out to the end of that plank" replies Mick. "I'll stand on this
end and balance you."
"Are you sure Mick?"
"Yeah, no worries mate, 100% Yes!"
So out goes Phil to take a piss, but before he's finshed, the lunch siren sounds. Mick forgets what he's supposed to be doing and eps off the plank. Phil, of course, is a goner.

Several months later, an Australian, a Frenchman and a bloke from New Zealand are sitting in a pub disscussing which of their sective
nations chase women the hardest.
Greg the Aussie says, "Mate, I've been known to miss out on a piss-up
session down at the pub with me mates trying to crack on to sheilas!"
Pierre the Frenchman says "Non, non, non. We French chase ze women weeth
much zest and geev to zem gifts of love like french champagne to ween
zeir affection. Eet ees us for sure."
Meanwhile Bob(the kiwi) sits laughing & says "No, you blokes are both
wrong. The other month I was walking past a building site in Auckland,
following these two gorgeous looking birds, and this bloke came
plummeting from the sky with his dick in his hand screaming:
"CUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

Sorry about that!! I was editing it and went to press the preview button - and you all know the rest. Again sorry, it was an accident, truly

Yeah sure

PP&L.......go hang your head in shame!!Or slink off with your tail between your legs!!

And remember : 'Refuse to use SHAMPOO ! Demand the real POO !

I think that PP&L uses the real *Poo* all the time!!

That might very well be true.....mmhhhh...

Handy hint: Never use towels belonging to people who indulge in vigorous crotch drying after showering.

Especially when they sport long,pink tails!!!

Its not really blue. Infinity generates energy across the entire spectrum, but the human brain and its filters (eyes etc) cannot perceive this, so it is represented as blue. Its a bit like when, at night, if you look, from outside, into a room with a television on it appears to be blue.

Given that individuals generally interpret the same thing slightly differently, its perfectly feasible to perceive the same thing - infinity - as something other than blue, and when you consider what a small part of the spectrum is allocated to "visible" light anyway, thats no really big deal.

If its Aussis were bagging hows this "An Aussi and a Kiwi were driving down a country road and came across a paddoke of sheep. The Kiwi stoped the car jumped out and cought a sheep,he put the sheeps head into the fence pulled down his pants and showed the Ram in the paddock how it is done.Turning to the Aussi he asked if he would like to have a go,the Aussi said "I'll give it a go" Pulled down his pants and putt his head in the fence."

elbissopmi ton tub ,elbaborpmi ylhgih s'tI??
That doesn't make any sense at all...

To sidetrack a minute :

I filled out an application that said : 'In Case Of Emergency Notify'. I wrote 'Doctor'...I mean what's my mother going to do..?

I stayed up all night playing poker with Tarot-cards. I got a full house and four people died...

In the words of the immortal Kermit ; 'Times fun when you're having flies...'.

aaaaaaauuuuggggghhhhhhhhhhh...my brains!!!

I'm with you there

Brains...? At H2G2...?

WOW !

Fried sheep brains - yummmy

I don't even have to guess where you're from !