h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Some people that add to this thread,
Perhaps are not long out of bed.
I'd show them the door,
Coz their scan is so poor,
Their efforts do fill me with dread!

I'm not such an expert myself,
My bad ones should stay on the shelf,
The scan is the key,
To these posts, don't you see,
With that thought I will toast your good health.

I`ve given much thought to the scan
and will try to improve, if I can
My talents, however
are such that I`ll never
Achieve your high standards,Bassman!

I think that your tallents are fine,
Don't judge yourself harshly this time.
Your scanning is great,
And I'd just like to state,
That your prose are much better than mine.



Bassman

Here we are in two thousand and two
but postings, there seems very few
It seems that we might
have give some a fright
Oh Bassman, it`s all down to you!

I took all that ranting to heart
and my poems all died at the start.
Don't judge me so hard
I'm no expert trained bard
just willing to try out the art

I felt that I'd been a disgrace
And I couldn't look in your face
I had obviously done wrong,
So dropped out the throng,
All because of that man called Bass!

*By way of a change!)

There once was a footballing soul
who wondered, how deep is a hole?
So he measured and plumbed
but finally succumbed
When he failed to achieve his own goal

I'm pleased that this thread has come back
It's not rhymes, it's just time that I lack
There's just so much to do
Here at dear old hootoo
And sometimes I just don't have the knack

There's a myriad fun things to do
So I thought I should start something too.
Now I ask with good grace
Would you visit my space,
And play Sorry, I Haven't A Clue?

I feel that I must decline,
Not because I can't think of a line,
But I bite on my fist
And try to resist,
'Cause the entries there are all mine!

'tis time to go home, so they say
I will post no more today
But I will be back
If I don't get the sack
To post, yet again, on Monday

I'm skiving again now at work,
There's nothing to do here but shirk.
While I sit at my screen,
I am just off the scene,
I don't post to some threads, I just lurk.

Lurking whilst working sounds fine
I`m doing it most of the time
No, that`s not quite true
I`ve no work to do
So I spend too much leisure on-line

At the end of the month I am out,
A new job - I still haven't got 'owt.
So I'm looking for one,
Which isn't much fun,
Coz there don't seem too many about!

Last year I wasn't elated,
A company right here I have slated.
I can't mention the name,
Of the firm in the frame,
Coz I'm sure it'll get moderated.

They failed to pay me for months,
How sick was my poor bank balance. (Ouch - sorry)
"They owe you twelve grand",
Said the tribunal man,
But I won't get a penny, the c***s



Bassman

That sounds like a rip-off for sure
more than you should have to endure
Is there really no way
you can force them to pay
Or are protected by Law?

Missed the *they* out...last line..Sorry!

There's just no more funds to be had,
And it makes me feel terribly sad.
That they're getting away,
With "Blue Murder" today,
The whole subject makes me quite mad.

Still the business has got a new name,
They continue to trade just the same.
This stunt it is clear,
Is quite legal - I fear,
It's the crap legal system to blame.



Bassman

Bassman I'm sorry to hear
'bout your problems, Oh, Dear!
But you're sure to bounce back
Right into the black
Well that's what we all hope here..

Two thousand and two it is here
I'm sure I should be in good cheer
But by balance reads nought
So I feel that I ought
rob a bank, but it gives me the fear.

Bank Robbing is surely for Mugs
With, over-large, caulifla' Lugs
Their Brains are quite small
If they had one at all
They'd end up as ignorant thugs