h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello, just a note to inform you that I too have seen the Thingite light and shall henceforth be known as: "ceesos, second undersecretary to the Thingite subcommitee on paperclips and part-time fitness instructor (soddit's only).

My personal space is at a2653076 and my researcher number is 735522

yours truly,
ceesos,
second undersecretary tot the Thingit subcommitee on paperclips and part-time fitness instructor (soddit's only)

*written onna faded yellow post-it note, almost but not quite peeling off of a large lever-arch file*

Greetings Undersecretary to the Thingite subcommittee for paper-clips & part-timefittness instructor, Ceesos. (Hereby proclaim'ed! )



For your perusal: The charter for sticky-gum removal (paragraphs 113a - 456b12 and a docket dated novemeber 1987 from the the 'quasi-official non-governmental organisation with a purview to reducing natural wastage through accidental launching of staples', with a request for an audit of their accounts. I believe, if you can see through the coffee rings and dog-eared leafs of paper, it is possible to make out the word "urgent".

I'm writing all of this on a successive number of post-it notes because we've run out of paper-clips. I believe you might find a box lurking in the locked drawer of rusted filing cabinet, wedged up-side-down in the basement lavatory cubicle with a sign on the door which reads: "beware of the leopard."

Here's a torch Happy hunting.

Alternatively, come and join us in no,no,no (or N3 for short.) - There are minutes to be miniturised and memorandi to be committed to memory!!


Clive. (Warlord and CEO of 'Dodgey, Suspect and PossiblyCriminal Freelance Enterprise Plc and incorporated.)

Yay! Clive seems to be well and truly back in the Warlordly saddle!
Consider yourself honoured, Ceesos, to have received such a prompt and detailed response to your application!
Long Live Thing!

*scribbled on the backside of Clive's faded post-it note*

Sir,

I immediately proceeded to the aforementioned basement cubicle to retrieve the paperclips. Even after thorough investigation I failed to locate them. The floor of the cubicle, however, was strewn with short metal wires apparently used to clean fingernails. Then my flashlight failed just before something grabbed me. I came to a few minutes ago next to a very clearly deceased leopard. Dirty fingernails are a serious health hazard if you use them to slice food. If only he'd used a . I will see to my other duties as soon as I've had my leg looked at. I seem to have a heavily infected paw-mark there.
Yours truly
Ceesos, second undersecretary to the Thingite subcomittee on paperclips and ex-part-time fitness instructor.

Next time try turning the light on first, then obtaining a small fish from the fish dispenser and inserting it in your ear (right or left, doesn't seem to make much difference). You will then be able to understand the tannoy announcement which explains how to mollify the leopard before attempting to clean fingernails or indeed reinstate the paperclips to their pristine state.

Frankly I'm a bit worried about the poor leopard...

Thank you, I'll remember that. Regarding the leopard, you are more than welcome to check on it....

No, I think you'll find leopards have spots, not checks...

Always happy to entertain...

Quite

Sometimes quite alot!

this thing just keeps getting longer doesn't it?

Said the actress to the bishop.



oh but seriously, Ceesos - if you chck out the manifesto page, you will find that you are our most recent addition on the official Thingite Roster.

Long? This thread is but a mere tadpole compared to the bullfrogs that some of the new applicants conversations become. And they are but motes of dust compared to 3N (I always like to be different).