h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Ultros] Yaaooouch! Seafood soup!

[Ultros, in his fury over being hit by the stone, waves his mallet wildly, which deflects the arrow's course. Y2K gets up and picks up a chair with the intent of smashing it over Ultros's head, which he does. Ultros retaliates with his mallet.]

[Ultros] Delicious morsel! Let me get my bib...!

[[Tentacle]]

[Ultros hits everyone in the room with his tentacles. (He's an octopus.) He then proceeds to look rather smug.]

[Ultros] Wee hee hee! ... Game over! Don't tease the octopus, kids!

[gives a flying kick upside Ultros's head]

[WHACK as Ultros is knocked forward]

[Ultros] Muscle heads ... hate 'em!

[[Ink]]

[Ultros blasts ink into Darkman's eyes]

ARRGH! The eye! The eye~!

*Xerces unsheaths a shortsword (which is black with deep blue veins running through it), and swings at a tentical. A shef bot launches a lemon marange pie at the occtopus.*

*In mid-swing Xerces gives a signal to Xeones who promptly begins pumping 30mm (plutonium tipped) at the other legs of the Octipus. Saxon launches several pumpkin pies as the Octipus and pulls out a carrot dicer which he uses to start working on a leg when...WACK an octipus leg lays him flat.*

[Ultros] I--er--eh--um--ach--ahibbadahip, that's all, folks! [hums the end of the Looney Tunes themesong and then runs away]

[Y2K] Hmm. I think Affy must've Vaxumed 'im.

Great! Could someone cure my "Blind" status ailment??

[Y2K] Sure.

[Y2K uses the item "Eyedropper" on Darkman, curing his status ailment. ]

*Xerces Growls*
[Xerces] I was beginning to enjoy the peace, quiet, and food!

[Y2K] Hey, it's not MY fault Ultros barged in and Yowuzupman turned out the lights!

And /I/ never got a chance to enjoy them in the first place! What's on the menu?

[Y2K] [pepperpot voice] Well, there's egg and bacon ... egg, sausage, and bacon ... egg and Spam ... egg, bacon, and Spam ... egg, bacon, sausage, and Spam ... Spam, bacon, sausage, and Spam ...

[Y3K and Y4K enter]

[Y3K and Y4K] [singing in stereo] Spam, spam, spam, spam, ... [etc. in the bg]

[Y2K] [pepperpot voice] Spam, eggs, bacon, sausage, and Spam ... Spam, egg, Spam, bacon, and Spam ... Spam, bacon, Spam, sausage, Spam, egg, Spam, tomato, Spam, Spam, and Spam ...

[Y3K and Y4K] [singing in stereo] Spammity Spam! Wonderful Spam! Lovely Spam! Wonderful Spam!

[Y2K] [pepperpot voice] Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam, and Spam ... or lobster thermidore a crevette with a Mornay sauce served in a Provencal manner with shallots and aubergines, garnished with a truffle paté, brandy, and with a fried egg on top and Spam.

[Y3K] Zarquon, 2K, you've memorized that WHOLE THING??

[Y4K] Well it's more than YOU did!

Santa Zarquana Voostra! You guys are just ... [shakes head]

[Y2K] Loony?

[Y3K] Zonked out?

[Y4K] Persons?

[Y4K's Brain] Not THAT category, you noron!

[sea] insane is the word i would have picked.

[Y2K] Fine.

[Y3K] Right.

[Y4K] Cash.

Um ... Y4K isn't all there, is he?

[Y2K] Not as such, no.

.....