h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*The Chefbot finishes the Gyro, and sends it up with the baklava. It then begins working on some sort of rice cake*

*smiles*
mmmm, you cant beat chocolate silk!

*opens a small steel refrigerator and takes out a box of chocolate silk. Xerces passes sea a large portion and takes some for himself. When Xerces finishes he prepares to get to work on setting up defenses*

*Xerces opens the backpack and removes an object that looks like a fancy car-jack and places it on one of the counters. the door is in the middle of one of the walls. Their are two counters 2 ft up and 2 ft down from the door and about 8 feet away. They are perpendicular to the door. For purpose of this battle the counters will be refered to as upper and lower counters)..Xerces moves over to one of the crates, picks it up and places it on top of the jack. He then jacks the crate up until it is flush with the ceiling. He presses a small black button on the crate and the part of the crate that is flush with the ceiling slowly turns deep red molding it to the wall. He then lowers the jack and sets it on the other counter. Next he walks back to the crate and presses the button again. The top of the crate flips open and molds itself to one of the sides. The button is presses again and the sides flip up to the cieling and mold to it revealing a group of machanical parts which promtly fold and lock into place making a very high-tech plasma rifle whose capabilities cannot be assessed just by a glance. This process is repeated on the other counter and flanking the door on the back wall (one on each side on the ceiling). Xerces steps back and surveys his work*

*Xerces moves to one of the 4 remaining crates and opens it. He removes a large amount of nasty looking devices with unknown uses and goes around the room setting traps. He does the same with the second crate. Xerces then moves to the intercome and sets it to broadcast over the whole complex*

[Intercom] This is Xerces in the Galley. I am just informing you that if an attack is initated against us all traps and weapons in the galley will be activated. Contact me before falling back to the Galley so I can deactivate them for a short period of time. [End intercom]

[sea] yum!!!

*sea sits down on the floor and starts eating delicious pie with a dreamy look on her face*

[sea] oh goodness i love chocolate...

*The Chefbot opens several hatches in its shoulders, revealing extra knive tossers, pie launchers, a chefinator, and a gun that squirts liquid *and* powdered pepper into people's eyes. It folds them back up, and sends another snak item up to Minos*

*sea finally finishes her pie and remains on the floor with a dreamy expression on her face*

*Xerces takes the second to last box and places it in the back of the room. He presses a button and it expands into an armored roofless bunker. Xerces grabs the 30mm cannon and mounts it in the bunker. He then talks into his intercom. Seconds later several large boxes of ammunition appear behind the bunker. Xerces links them together and loads the cannon with the 30mm plutonium-tipped explosive shells.

[Xerces]Xeones man the gun!


[Xeones] Yes sir!

*Saxon, a minor member of the Persian Queen's crew teleports in. Xerces jumps out of the Vegimatic and Saxon jumps in. Xerces moves to the last box and opens it. He takes out his body armor/Battle suite and dresses himself for battle checking all of his weapons and systems. He takes out a large longbow make of titanium flexsteel and an unknown fiber string. and heads to the back of the room.*

*notices the sudden pravalence of major weaponry and decides she'd be safer back at the neutron thingy*

[sea] i'll just be leaving now...

*slinks out door, closing it behind her*

wow there has been no activity here in so long i've forgotten waht i armed this place with!
[intercom] anyone not involved ina battle need food?

*The doors burst open, and Minos drops in. The Chefbot looks up and backs away, recognizing that Minos is in one of his "moods"*

I don't believe it. First, the heroes' space ships make it past our outer defense. Then, they get through the Y2K and his clones in the Ion Ventilation Shafts. Then, they get past NYC in the Security Center. THEN, they get control of the Auxilliary Elevator Shaft that should've been guarded by Starman Jones. THEN, they totally ransack the Brownian Motion Inducer that SHOULD have had Happydude in it, but he was mysteriously absent. *THEN*, they break up the Regulation Control Center, totally bewildering Lord Ancba and Liz's attempts to guard it. *THEN*, THEY BREAK INTO THE ENERGY FLOW SYSTEMS THAT IS GUARD BY ZEB, DIMMY, NINETEEN GECKO WARRIORS, AND A CAMEO APPEARANCE OF ZEB'S PAST SELF, AND THEY STILL DESTROY THEIR TARGET!

And now, they've gotten into the Neutrino Burst Injector, and are attempting to destroy the machine with Sea and evillenne guarding it. It's....it's so hard to destroy the Galaxy when superheroes are constantly breaking your machines. I think I want a keylime pie, if you have any.

*The Chefbot sighs, and gets back to work*

*Xerces thinks he prefered the lack of action to this raving luna....*

*A bot appears (due to the fact that im not sure who else is in the room to serve you cause its has been so long)and hands minos a large key-lime pie*

*evillene pops in, has a sandwich*

[evillene] you both would've enjoyed seeing affy run face-first into a door covered in saran wrap... it was hilarious. well, got to go, i've got six nuclear weapons shaped like me running around...

*she pops back out to defend the neutrino thingy*

*KL considers what the effects of six nuclear weapons would have on the Neutrino Burst Injector (that he really, really doesn't want to have destroyed, seeing as it would let the heroes advance to the next floor, and it would delay the detonation phase even further). He doesn't like the picture*

Okay, it's just asking for trouble. Thanks for the pie.

*Minos heads out again*

~lights go out~

[Y2K] [entering from his escape passage] Hey! Who turned out the lights!?

[A moment later, a door opens. A pebble enters, followed by Ultros, who is brandishing a mallet and wearing a top hat]

[Ultros] Look at me, I'm a good guy! G'pha-ha! [brandishes his mallet and smashes Y2K with it]

*as Ultros walks through the door a huge stone fist swings down from the ceiling wacking him square on the head. At the same moment Xerces releases the arrow he has had patiently notched. THe only thing visible in the room is the plasma veined arrow tip streaking at Ultros.*

crap, now that the battle is going to be here i gotta go back and read what i put up to defent it!