h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

is my benevolent dictator around? the minister of evil is back, up and running.

D--ooh! You posted that TWICE! You ARE evil...

Yes I'm back... the Misunderstood Empire is back as well... so, time to get back on track to take over the world!

Oh wait... I hope some little kid in Madagascar doesn't read this and become offended! Because then this conversation might wink out of existence! Either that or it'd all become c******d... you want to know what I think of c********p? C********p s***s a ***** *** ****...

hay! cool, yer back!
one vice-assistant-something-or-other reporting for duty, or not.

mr. dictator, i've actually been wanting to show you a website, but since they won't let me post it here, you'll have to go here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A519239
and go to the 'cool things to hear' link.

accolyte mathnerd, you're welcome to give it a try too. how's everything going?

Do confused, completely silly people get to join? I could be, uh... something silly. Which I can't think of right now, because if I could I'd say it. Here. As opposed to somewhere else, which really wouldn't be much use anyway because you might not actually see it, and since I want you to see it, that would be a bad idea, because it would totally defeat the purpose of saying it, so here is best, not there. So here I am saying it, or rather, not saying it, because I can't think of it yet, but I AM trying to. So I guess I'll just choose here not to say it, and you can treat it as you will.

::sings:: evil, evil, evil! ::skips around room and randomly takes off::

hallo broelan, didn't see you there. how are things? Marc, if you ever want to finish taking over the world, you _must_ do something _right_ NOW about those damn dingbats. that and the dust. all in my desk. do you think i can manage everything ('cause that's what my job is ) with that disarray?

YES! HAHAHAHA! A station dedicated to 80's music! I hereby declare that station to be the official radio station of the UCAIURLORRR! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

composing myself...

Sad, mad, or bad! Confused and silly people make up approximately 100% of our population... so if'n ya want to join, give me an idea of what quasi-evil department you want to head, or I'll come up with one for you, and you probably don't want that, or you'll have to explain constantly what it means when you say that you're the UCAIURLORRR Minister of BUTCOWOONIMEE, and that no, it has nothing to do with butt-cows, that you don't even know what a butt-cow is, and would you please stop calling me Se or Butt-Cow.

Uh-oh... I used a word from another language... I'm gonna get it now...

And Mathnerd--I'll send my trusty dingbat hunter right over. Here he comes now. "Crikey," he says.

But I'm not gonna dust off your desk for you... you'll just have to find some poor sap out on the street to do it, just like the rest of us. :-p

HEY!!! Why won't it print an " "??? It was amusing when it said Senor Butt-Cow, but with an " " instead of the "n", but you can't see the " ", but it's an "n" with a "~" over it, and ARRGH! Now it just says Se or Butt-Cow, and that's just wierd. Grr.

How about Minister for driving people Insane with inane chatter?

Would that work? Or are you after something completely different?

sounds good to me .

oh lovely, dingbats are gone , and now that the daemons have dusted my desk, i will start sorting the paperwork.
*looks at paperwork*
*picks top two memos from dictator and puts them in a box marked 'to be filed at some point'*
*puts the rest in the shredder*

there! quite efficient!

Excellent! Efficiency is key...

Well crap, now I have to update the main page... and I'm lazy. But good to have you aboard, Sad, mad, or bad, Minister of Driving People Insane with Inane Chatter! Now when I take over the world, you won't be one of our slaves! Doesn't it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?

welcome dear! please note, though marc may be dictator, i am real force behind UCAIURLORRR. two rules: 1) don't p**s me off when i'm stressed and 2) anything goes as long as you use and abuse the idiots in this world that don't belong to us.

but i'm glad to have you aboard. *flies off*
*comes back briefly*
oh, you can put your desk and engraved name plate anywhere you want, but do dust once in a while to spare my allergies
*flies off to deal with evil*

Ooohoo! I get to be minister of inane chatter! I'm so excited! I hardly know what to say! And I get an engraved nameplate! How awfully exciting! Thank you!

I'd like to thank my parents for not joining h2g2. I'd like to thank my husband and children for providing me someone to practice on. And my brothers and sister as well.

I'm so happy!

Real force behind the Dictatorship, eh? I don't think you realize the way this works! My Remote Control of Justice is all-powerful! Mwa ha ha hah aha ahahahhahahahaa! All your minister are belong to us! Ha ha ha ha!

*whispers*
I'm not terribly evil you know. I have a personality that's a superhero.

I hope that won't be a problem

Yes! Superheroes can be verrrry useful when taking over the world... and if that's too evil for you, just remember that once I'm in total control of everything, I won't let the power go to my head; I'll be just as benevolent and just as I usually am now...

What's your super power?

*rolls eyes* calm down a bit marc, won't you? your remote control of justice is evil, and therefore obeys me. isn't that evil! *laughs evilly and maniacally*

My super power is bad poetry. (If you read any of my poetry you'd know why )

So, what you're saying is that we take over the world, whereupon you become a veritable Santa Claus and I go and fight for truth, Justice, and uh...your way?

*slightly suspicious of the remote control*

::in an aside to sad mad or bad:: *whisper* don't worry too much about marc or his remote control. i have control, through my evilness. if stuff goes wrong, please do let me know though, as it's my job to keep this thing up and running until his great marc-ness actually gets off his hiney and does some work.

So you are the remote-control guy? *writes this down*
Check!