h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Okay here's my Biased and Unbeleviably Stupid Citizenship Exam:

1. Name:

2. Do you support Marc(that's me) as your Overlord, Dictator, President, and King in the UCAIURLORRR:

3. What's your favorite 80s band:

4. What are you wearing:

5. Do you want an official UCAIURLORRR title and/or Position of Easily Abuseable Power, and if so, what?

6. Will you attempt to seize power in a violent coup, and if so, what will you do with your newfound power?

7. A, B, C, or all of the above? And if so, why?

8. None of these really matter except for 5, but please feel free to amuse your Usually Benevolent Dictator with witty answers to the others. Oh crap this isn't a question, I shouldn't have numbered it.

1.see above where it says "this post was made by (name goes here)" or something to that effect on header for post.

2.maybe, conditionally. reorganize your tourist center (entry page) so that it is viewable on a fifteen inch monitor. if you're going to be a dictator, you'll have to deal with the fact that your constituents cannot afford your extravagant technology.

3.def leppard or journey, depending on the day of the week. weird al yankovic every day of the week.

4.a mu-mu

5.i expect one. maybe, vice-dictator? assistant? minister of appropriately humiliating those who would laugh at our world? as your only applicant, you may bedeck me with titles and authority as you see fit. but remember, i AM your ONLY applicant.

7.see answer to #2.

8.that's okay, when you're a lord and dictator over an unpopulated world, i suppose you can take whatever liberties suit your purpose.

Seeing as how the tourist center is under constant reorganization, that's not gonna be an issue... and really, conditional loyalty is good enough to suit my purposes. What's more fun than an uneasy truce? So I name thee, using some of your own suggestions: broelan, Vice-Assistant-Minister of Appropriately Humiliating Those Who Deserve It. I'll put ya on the page in a few...

so does that mean i need to change my name from 'broelan (keeper and muse)' to 'broelan (keeper, muse, and VAMoAHTWDI)'?

i'll think about it.

1. Goshoogoshoogosh - Muse, Keeper, also windows cleaned (ask for long-term rates)
2. Umm..... ok
3. ABC.... no, The Smiths... er, no, Yazoo... no, wait a minute, Girls At Our Best... oh, I don't know.... do Cabaret Voltaire or The Fall count? ALL OF THEM!
4. My haircut
5. Yes. I want to be Minister for Out-Weirding the Weirdo on the Bus. It's the only way to deal with them - they can dish it out but they can't take it. I can rid the whole country of all of them given enough time and bus passes, making the buses once again a pleasurable mode of transport. You... you do have buses don't you?
6. I don't know. I don't think so. Probably not. I'm almost certain of that. I think.
7. You may as well ask 'Are The Himalayas?' Who really cares apart from the people who live there?
8. Oh, I see, it's not really a question. Harrumph.

hey...! i just realized i skipped question 6 and put it's answer for number 7..... and you let me in anyway..... and even gave me a really long important-sounding title.....

okay. i'll follow you.

except for the times that i want to lead.

Alriiighty then, by the power vested in me by the state of denial, I hereby dub thee Goshoogoshoogosh, Minister for Out-Wierding the Wierdo on the Bus. And of course we have busses! They're hideously overpriced, but with you being the Minister and whatnot, I'm sure you can get a pass...

And Broelan, I always gotta love the long confusing acronyms...

Hey yous guys, yous want a link to your userpage from here? I know people, it can be arranged... just say the word.

Thank you Dictator for bestowing upon the power, status, and position that I've craved for so long, and as member of a government which it seems will soon be acquiring a reputation for corruption and abuse of power, I will certainly be ready to grease any palms that need to be greased in order to get a link to my page or to The Procrastinator's Society. I have at my disposal a huge slush fund of... well, slush really.
Hmmm, I want to try something out...
Goshoogoshoogosh, KOTCG, MOPTOUAT, RBTKCAQAOB, MFOWTWOTBFUCAIURLORRR
I must say, that has a distinctive ring to it

yeah, go ahead and link me up. when i get around to it i'll link this to my page as well, so i can send you hordes of willing constituents.

Yes.. yes... it's all happening according to my design... ::evil fingertips-touching position:: eeexcellent....

Thank you for the link, Dictator Marc, the funds *wink* are being transferred as I write. Nice to meet you btw, broelan.

NOO!!!!

!!!!!! Don't you know that 80's hair bands are the bane of humankind!??

::sniffles::

It frightens me to see three of my brightest muses fall to the wayside!!!

But St.D., whilst I would agree with you about ABC and The Smiths, I always remember Vic Clark and Mark E Smith with the shortest of haircuts, Cabaret Voltaire I'm not so sure about, and I've never even seen a picture of GAOB! If by 'hair bands' you mean the likes of Dead or Alive, I'm right with you there. Or do you mean those things my sister used to wear to keep her hair out of her eyes

1. Name: The So Pink Cheese

2. Do you support Marc(that's me) as your Overlord, Dictator, President, and King in the UCAIURLORRR: OF COURSE, SIR!

3. What's your favorite 80s band: Um....uh....ew, 80's bands sucked.

4. What are you wearing: o_0

5. Do you want an official UCAIURLORRR title and/or Position of Easily Abuseable Power, and if so, what? Yes, how about "God"?

6. Will you attempt to seize power in a violent coup, and if so, what will you do with your newfound power? YES, I will overthrow everyone I don't like for I will be God. Mwahahaha.

7. A, B, C, or all of the above? And if so, why? All of the above: more to conquer.

Errr.... I don't remember much about 80's music except for Hewy Lewis and the News and Michael Jackson... And the Back to the Furture soundtrack!!! WHHEEE!!!

Tell me more about these things your sister wore...

I've got to admire your balls, Cheese, I figured nobody would come right out and admit to wanting to take over the Empire! You're in. Except you realize nobody will ever get past my highly trained Karate Kung-Fu Ninja Jedi Whammer Jammer Soccer Hooligan Robot Superman Secret Service Guards...

However I don't think I can just call you "God"... give me a little more, I'll make you God of something... like God of Thumbtacks, or God of Endodontic Surgery.

Emperor King President Leader Head Honcho Marc
P.S. There's gotta be SOME 80's music you like, come on, you're killing me here!

Big D, not *all* 80s music was hair bands... just most.

What about the Eurythmics?

Well, they were just cheap old things she bought from the local kids clothes, or maybe it was Boots the Chemist. I think she had a blue one, and a red one, and a black one, and like, some of them were made of a sort of stretchy cloth which were like a big elastic band, but there were others that were like, hard plastic and sort of U-shaped. And some of the hard plastic ones had these little teeth on the inside, and she put them on by bending forwards so that her hair was hanging down over the front of her head, and then she sort of threw her head back at the same time as pushing the hairband backwards from her forehead, and the little teeth made rows in her hair, kind of like a comb does. They were springy so that they would grip her head once they were in place, and they were really hard to break. No, wait... she had two or maybe three black ones, and a green one too I think. The stretchy ones lost their stretch after a while, but you could bring it back if you washed them, but then they lost it again real quick so she had to keep buying those ones. She had to keep buying some of the plastic ones too after I managed to snap them. Well, when I say she, I mean my mother. My sister was still at school and didn't get much pocket money, and my mother used to buy all her clothes and stuff. I even tried one of them on once, just to see what it might look like. I didn't go out in the street with it on though. I didn't have very long hair anyway, so I didn't really need to wear one, it was just the sort of thing that I used to do from time to time, the way that boys do when they know that no-one's looking. I don't remember how much they used to cost, but it was the early 70's, so probably not much more than a few pence. Sometimes she used to buy them from a stall at the local market because they were much cheaper there, but you never really knew for sure that you were getting good quality, and you didn't get a receipt so you couldn't take them back if they turned out to be no good. Sometimes she'd buy one at a time, and sometimes she'd buy them in threes or fours. Then those things came out that were like, a hairband with two balls on top of springy stalks that moved around when she moved her head. I think we called them bonce boppers. She had one of those. I forget how the balls were decorated. Probably with pictures of David Cassidy, or The Osmonds, or T Rex or The Bay City Rollers. She was a teenybopper then. Umm, is that what you wanted to know? I can't think of anything else, but if I do, I'll let you know.

Wow, I'm impressed...!