h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Boo!

So! What's new then?

::strongly considers making some sort of wise comment about the coinkydental appearance of , worms, and Gwennie all in the same section of thread, but decides against it::

Hi Gwennie!! Not much is new, really, right now we're traveling across the mutiverse in a wormhole that nobody has any idea where ends, you know, and Deckchair is over there in his pipe cleaner chair, you know, oh and there might be a rabid pengiun behind us somewhere, we don't really know... same old same old, you know
How have you been?

Hi Thog! Well you're something new(ish), as when I was last here you'd left h2g2 for pastures new or summat. What happened? Did you change your plans?

*Looks around, trying to figure out what is missing*

I like wormholes! Even more so if that nice Creighton chappie from Farscape could be waiting for me at the end of one of 'em!

*Continues looking around*

Rabid penguins? Have terrorists added sabotaging bars to their agenda then?

*Distractedly peers behind Thog*

RL had been a bit stressful over the past few months and didn't leave me much time or inclination to play on hootoo but I missed the awld place, so here I am.

Err...Where's the bar fridge?

In truth, the rabid penguin is none other than ing Julie Andrews in disguise... don't ask me why...

The barfridge is being sat upon by Mr. Christopher who is sitting on Deckchair Funderlick, so really I suppose ol' Deckchair might want to be free of it, you might ask 'im. He's thataway a few light years ::waves vaguely in the direction of the other side of the wormhole, which of course really helps very little:: If thar be any salted peanuts in it, would you throw me some? Could really use a few right about now...

As for my plans, well, I actually am grazing in new pastures or summat.... more of the summat bit, I think, but no, just found a new job and occasionally get the opportunity to drop in and get a dose of reality here in hootoo I know what you mean about the last few bein stressful... I've recently almost single-handedly moved me an' my gf into a new apartment, still recovering from that, and now there's all this ing war stuff going on. I mean, you know me, I'm all for napalming everybody within reach, but not for something as outdated as oil. Talk about bloody ing extinct technology. Ever since Nikola Tesla was born, we could have been operating on renewable / nonexpendable energy sources, and none of this would have been necessary



Anywayyyyyyyy....

How've you been, dear?

*Coolly raises one eyebrow and grins at Thog's war related rant*

Quite so dear boy! I'm in full agreement, don't you know? There's a huge anti-war march in London tomorrow and if I didn't live up the other end of the country, would join in.

I'm fine thanks for asking, although naturally I could do without the symptoms of encroaching middle age with bits of me sliding downwards, wrinkling or going grey! I have a 15 year-old daughter who is sitting her GCSE examinations in a couple of months and is hogging the family 'puter most of the time, a 12 year-old autistic son just entering puberty and a 43 year-old husband who likes to think he's 18 years old and play at Lego with large motorcycles. Apart from that, life's terrific and I've just joined a fantastic new gym, run by bodybuilders and not some money-grabbing health club chain! Needless to say there is plenty for a hormonally-challenged woman to drool over in said gym, including the lovely equipment therein...

I'm not sure that I'd be able to single-handedly remove Mr C from the top of the bar fridge...

*Rummages in her bag and produces a thermos flask of chilled vodka and takes a swig before offering it to Thog*

I sympathise with the moving thingee, which had to do several times (even immigrating twice!) and find it a highly stressful business. Do you like your new job and was the upheaval of moving worth it in the long run?

:: suddenly the wormhole comes to an end - right above a beautiful with no less than three old suns shining softly down on it at the same time...


...unfortunately the wormhole opens approximately 10 metres above the surface of the planet. the surface being nothing but water. there is absolutely *no* land to be seen ::

SPLASH!

*Glug, glug, glug*



What the

shazz

water water everywhere, and not a drop to drink.

Where is that barfridge?

*sinks along with the fridge*

impossible. The fridge has its own anti grav device so i don't have to carry it everywhere.

*...and promptly returns to the surface using the fridge as a floatation device*

*Floats on her back, keeping her vodka filled thermos and mug perfectly balanced on her stomach*

I've been watching how otters do it...balance things on their tummies whilst swimming that is!

*uses the long-forgotten expano-ray to enlarge the fridge to the size of a barge*

LURKER ALERT!!!

Oh Bliss ...... a bar fridge the size of a barge

- How will the BFGs cope with the giant caps on the giant booze bottles .... I know how they'll cope with the giant booze

*Impressed by the size of the barfridge - and spurred on my the 'voice-from-above', shazz casually shoots the tops off a few bottles with her phaser and distributes them amongst the assorted bobbing BFGs.*

It's lucky the sea is so warm and bouyant - I just hope that there aren't any s lurking in the deep! I know that giant octupi are supposed to be a legend back on earth, but you never know with a new

How was the meet Feisor? Anything to report?

shazz

Monster sharks! Quick, melt the butter!

::Throws rock at ::

::Throws pipe cleaners at ::

::Looks in pockets::

::Throws fluff at ::

::Offers a bucket of ::

:: accepts::

:: becomes emotional::

:: sings songs of the old country::

:: explodes::

Well, you don't see that every day.

which is a pity really, as it makes for marvelous entertainment

:: makes a mental note to himself: remember to form a new rockband called "the exploding sharks" if we ever get out of this place ::