h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Boggle...I hate boggle!

*Singles out an unsuspecting box, and stabs his sword through it, and about a foot into the floor*

Yeah!!! Me too, it!

::lights another cigarette and unslings his flamethrower. Taking a deep drag off the smoke, Thog lets out a frightful cackle and starts laying waste to the evil evil boxes of Boggle::

Ha ha haaaaaaaa!!!! Die, you twisted freaks of nature!!! Ha ha haaaaaaa!!!

Hey, by the by, Vidmaster, what about the foot in the floor??? Is it yours???

This is not the treasure, plunder and mayhem that I signed up for. I'm going on. Who is with me?

*Leaves the smoldering Boggles behind and heads off down the hallway. She kicks doors open as she goes and peers inside. At one door she jumps back in surprise, then closes it carefully. *

Don't go in there. It isn't a pretty sight.





I found Bill Clinton.

Ewwwwww....

Hey, by the by, would any of my fellow BFGs be interested in a possible campaign to chase all the teenybopper Napster cast-offs out of the Guide? They're beginning to inundate us with inane drivel and really silly names (HotDreamBabe69, for instance... no, really) and I chanced to mention to the ACEForum that the BFGs might be interested in the assignment... anyone up for it should the italics take my suggestion?

Mmm...more mayhem. Sure, count me in.

*Removes foot from the floor, examines it, and then throws it into the burning boxes of boggle*

Well, a descent of BFG's, guns blazing and conversation spattered with 's and expletives would probably be fun, although most certainly be skirting pretty near the 'no spamming' rules. I say leave them to disappear up their own holes!

*Decides that the door marked 'recycling bin' (although for some strange reason this is labelled 'Prullenbak') may be a better bet and heads off down the corrider*

shazz

Hmmm... good point, shazz...
::kicks down a door marked "Capitalistic Pig Pen" and waits for the dust to settle::

Although I think it'd be ing fun to descend upon their sorry little s in a rain of blood, s, and big weaponry... sorry -- I really got to hate the little buggers back when I was a frequent customer of Napster... ::sigh:: Those were the days...
Anyway, I doubt the italics'd go for it anyway -- so far everybody's talkin about some kinda live and let live policy, or some like that...
::takes a swig off his and, seeing the dust clear in the Capitalistic Pig Pen, unleashes a barrage of nails into the gloom inside and, tossing a flarebomb to light the way, leaps into the room with a bloodcurdling laugh...::

*Bashes down a door, and finds another door after it. Bashes it down and sees yet another door. Attempts to bash it in but has no success. Sets a grenade up against it and takes cover. The grenade explodes, but the door is intact. Begins to become annoyed with this ing door. Arranges small thermonuclear device on the door.*

I set the timer for 5 minutes. I suggest we all go elsewhere for a bit until 6 minutes have gone by.

*Gets the out of there as fast as she can!*

*Saunters back to the bar, orders a , and sits down to wait for 6 minutes to be up.*

*Standing in front of a door labelled "This Universe has been left intentionally blank" ...and wondering which side of the door he is on*

::tries to find a emoticon::

*Wanders up beside Kes and eyes the door in front of them with suspicion*

What's behind there thar door then Kes? Doesn't anyone have a key?

*hearing voices, opens the door he is standing near*

Oh, hello. I was wondering where you all were

B - O - O - M - !!!


ll


*The building rocks a bit and the dust settles. The stubborn door is hanging on its hinges, glowing with heat. Beyond it is dimly seen a large lumpy something underneath a tarpulin. Cautiously she lifts the edge of the tarp and discovers an enormous pile of what looks like junk. Disappointed she turns to go when her eye is caught by one of the items.*

Hey! This is my raggedy ann doll from when I was a kid!!!! I lost it ages ago! Look! here is my Jungle Stories book too! and my 45 record of Ferry 'Cross the Mersey!!

*Begins rummaging through the pile for more of her treasures.*

*Pokes around with her fingers in her ears in an attempt to regain her hearing*

What's that Mari? I can't hear a thing!

*Wanders through the lower levels of the building until he comes to a door marked "R&D"*

Hmmm...this is either where all the evil spawns from, or else it's where they make cool new weapons. Or maybe both...

*Steps back, lunges, and kicks open the door. Leaps into the room with guns at the ready. Inside, the room is dark except for a single illuminated pedestal. On that pedestal is a very large gun*

Ooo...what do we have here? LXK-36 Gattling Laser, final model.

*Picks up the new toy*

::drools on his boots::

and there's that bottle of rum i never got drunk back in 1972 !

Whatever happened? Did an earthquake interrupt the drinking of it? 'Tis shocking!


::unslings his RPG, raises it, and blows hell out of a wall just for the of it.::

Hmmm...let's find out what this baby can do...

*Pulls the trigger and watches as the barrels spin up and begin unleashing a raging torrent of pretty coloured lights. Blinks, and watches as the raging torrent of pretty lights melts a hole in the steel wall of the room, and the next two walls as well*

Wow! I think I might keep this.