h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Watches the dust settle for a while, then addresses the assembled total lack of multitude.*

Well, that was a good debate - plenty of stimulating contributions. I could do with a rest.

*Strokes halo, thus involing an instant set of signs. Above the bar, flasing neon reads:

"Bar closing due to lack of interest, maybe?"

A sign on the centre of the bar reads:

"Queue on the left to sign the petition to keep us open. Queue on the right for drinks at much reduced prices. Please hurry - only an eternity left!"*

LAST ORDERS!

May I have a drink with a reduced price first and then sign the petition?

Certainly, Hati. Here you are:



You have a good sense of priorities!

But of course!


*takes her and heads to sign the petition*

GAs or not but one should never close a bar...

** decides to sign the petition first while still able to write his name correctly **

M....A...R...J...I...N

** decorates it with and **

the formalities are done, now for a big

*stumbles in after remembering that she has wings and a halo*

DRINK!!

Birthday Drinks! 18 tomorrow!
*falls over then stands up remembering she's not drunk yet*

You'd better have another in that case. I have a whole load of them in that case over there.

Oh well ... three votes for Heaven (even though one of them is about the bar. Should one, I wonder, allow the objects of faith to control the faith itself?

what what?

*drinks *
can i have another please?
hic

What would be the mission of Heaven in the new h2g2 world?

*sighs*

I need to think - Kes, may I have another please?

*Mixes another bucket of PGGB, and dispenses a to Hati. Also a for self.*

Good question, Hati. The original mission was for GAs to keep an eye on newbies and help them out, but we haven't been fulfilling that role for quite a while. Myself, I don't think any other mission would apply ... but (like you) I hate the idea of closing a bar.

Instead og closing it, we might try to drink it dry.

Do you have something left in that bucket?

Greeting newbies, eh? More personal and informal welcome messages... What is it then? Have changed? Have the newbies changed? Do we all do it as ACEs already? Is it a problem after all?

Happy belated BDay, St She!

*queues for a cheap drink. Signs the petition with the power of telellykenethesis...*

*Continues to dispense extremely inexpensive drinks.*

There should be more to afterlife than pondering on the lack of meaning to afterlife ... Solpisism gets so boring after a few milennia.

about the whole newbie thing, i tried doing it not that long ago and only one newbie wrote back...

and yey! i can legally buy drink!!!

*looks around for a non-dusty pggb*

You can drink any of them ... the dust dissolves instantly!

They hardly ever reply.

That is true. Perhaps it shows that the function of "GA" is not needed, in which case we have a set-up where:
- very few GAs are doing anything;
- nobody needs what they would have been doing if they did it, which they aren't.

The thought gives me a twinge of the "Marvins" ...

*Helps himself to a large *