h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Produces a bottle of Campari circa 1972, a bottle of fizzy English white wine and three shrivelled olives possibly dating from the Stone Age.* So how do these mix together then?

I think you pour the wine into the campari and then bang the olives together.

Happy Birthday, Kes! *rummages around in her ettui and comes up with a blue biro* Here you are. Hold on tight and make a wish.

Oh dear, let's see what I have for Kes........searchs pockets......

Kes, here's a lovely swizzle stick complete with umbrella. It will make your b'day festive.

*Pinky opens her Gucci bag and produces a beautifully wrapped gift just for Kes* Happy Birthday Kes x

*Opens Campari and wine. Pours Campari into an until half full and then tops up with wine. Bangs the olives together over the slops tray.*
Does that look right?

Goodness me! All these lovely gifts ... quite overcome!
*Pulls one end of the biro, and gets blue fingers. Picks up and inspects it, watching the icing turn blue from the edges inwards. Looks at Pinky's pressie.*
Well, I never. How kind of you all. I feel quite ... quite ...
*Looks around.*
Aha!
*Grabs the newly Munchkin-manufactured cocktail*
GLUG.
Wooooooooooo! I didn't think there was any gin in the recipe???

Happy Birthday and all that, but I think you just scoffed my drink.. How was it? You look a bit odd...

Gggaaahhh e-e-ezzzzzrrrrm hchchchcorrrrrrnn fr-fr-frmomph
*Points vaguely towards both red bottles*

Perfect,you can use the present I bought you now Kes.Just turn to page 41,'How to Cure Hangovers'.I knew it would be a useful book.....*Pinky brushes Snughound*

*waits for Kes to try out her pressie*

I'm sure it will suit you perfectly, especially in your current state. Lilac goes well with puce.

*Produces a bucket and a plastic mac from under the bar. Gives Kes the bucket and dons the mac himself*

You look good in a mac Munchkin.

*waits for Snuggles to decide she is hungry*

You'll be needing stronger protective clothing soon, Munch,

*Wonders if her Campari and sparkling wine will ever be forth-coming. Eyes Kes nervously in case it does! *

*Scans through the "How to cure a Hangover" book, and points to the page headed "Hair of the Dog". Holds hopeful bucket out.*

*Pinky removes very quickly and without pain,a hair from Snughound and gives it Kes*

Brilliant!

*Waits to see if it works.*

Munchkin, if that hair of the Snughound cures a hangover, you may have a goldmine in that dog.

Has anyone else noticed the large amount of noise coming form the usually tomb-like Saloon? I'd go and check it out but I'm a wimp...

Zantic

*Points to detailed text (beneath the heading) explaining the meaning and import of "Hair of the dog"*

I heard the noise. Let's be real quiet and hope they go away.