h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/A574580
i would greatly apreciate it if some of you happy (or sad) researchers would read my poetry and rate it. i need to know wether its up to scratch!
Lord Preston OMFC

Where was your poem tell me where to find it I will soon tell you whether it has merit or not. for LORD PRESTON. Marj

the url is as above...
Lord Preston OMFC

Hi, Lord,

You might try the Lost Poetry Office at A433793, or possibly the Alternative Writing Workshop (<./>Writing-Alternative</.&gt to get more feedback on your poem.

Thank you kind sir, and may I have your judgments on my humble attempts at rhyming verse?
Lord Preston OMFC

Lord Preston you directed me to your URL I could not find any poetry there. Why not print it again on this page. I don't think you have written any. Who cares about Toffee Apples anyway, they break your teeth. Perhaps you haven't got any and just lick them, Cheers marj.(Only Joking)

*flashs shiny gums, beging 2 lick a * what was that, missed wot u were saying?
oh and heres the url again, prehaps i copied the wrong 1 sorry!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/A574580
try that'n!
Lord Preston OMFC

I would not like to tell anyone their poetry is crap so perhaps you should try Salvia Divinorum - you may find that it helps your artistic self. Problem being that you seem a bit of a desolate being and perhaps not strongly enough minded to experience Salvia.

A plant Lover

so u r saying my work is crap... u know i have strong links with Mark Moxon,
Lord Preston OMFC

Please excuse the crap that my apprentice talks,
For he is inexperienced,
and has much to learn.

Its about time i met a fellow lord, good day sir. So have u browsed my verse? does it meet your expectations of a humble poets work?
Lord Preston OMFC

AH... Lord Preston,
Your response is a welcomed surprise.
Good day to you sir.
Its not very often that "I" have the pleasure of conversation with another lord.
I have indeed read your verse.
I am not well practised in this art, but I will say this.
I liked the first one, the other two didnt really do much for me.
As i said im not well practised, therefore I cannot really judge them,
so do not loose heart.

Lord Smooth

Lord Smooth,
Thankyou kind sir, your words are very encouraging, and i must agree that the first is my favourite too. And most people who have little experience of poetry find it lighter then the others. The second two where infact me practicing my skills on the subject of rhyming paterns and so forth so to an untrained eye i could understand them as being tediouse.
Do you posess any hobbeys of your own m'Lord?

Lord Preston OMFC

Lord Preston
Being a busy lord, and carrying out all my lordly duties is a daunting task.
I am sure you are aware of this, being a lord of the highest honour.
When im not walking my dogs around the country estate, or sampling some good old whiskey.
Most of my time would be spent getting my groove on, too some funky 70 disco sounds. Infact I had a part of the west wing transformed into a authentic 70's disco!
Complete with a giant disco ball, oil lamps, light flashing dancefloor and most importantly 1970 drink prices!
My good friend, the Marquis de Suave, and the good lady Thompson organises a party every friday in honour of Wacking day. Its a bit of a box social, in the private manor of my home.
What about yourself my good lord?
Is poetry ones only pastime?

Lord Smooth

Lord smooth,

You certainly seem 2 have your days work cut out for you. i myself don't walk the dogs, i do go ridding round the grounds though.
One does participate in other activities bar poetry, i am a dab hand at the old guitar, though my Lady does get a triffle annoyed, i also like to extened my mind with arts such as reading, but only when i can get Samule (my man servant) to read for me, he's a bit incompatant but i still pay an arm and a leg for that man.

I must say i have never really thought of returning to the age of jive myself, maybe we could organise a Do sometime and i could give the old flares a twirl.
Lord Preston OMFC

Lord Preston

You must excuse the lateness of my reply, What a blasted night I had. I've been up all night.
The dogs where very roudy last night, and awakened me from my slumber; although the lady somehow managed to sleep through it all.
Putting on my house coat and taking my favourite pipe I went to inspect this unusual behavoiur in my dogs.
Shocked was I to find A poacher Trying to steal salmon from my river!
"RAPSCALLION" I shouted and instantly gave chase, but the young blitter was just to nimble.
Fortunately my grounds man returns from holiday on Friday, so peace should return to the estate again, Thankfully.

I see from your last letter that you have a keen interest in the Guitar. Does one favour the old style rock sounds or the modern approach? Maybe the lord is not a fussy man, and has a fine ear for quality playing?

Lord Smooth

What is his lordship's primary tool for "ridding" and of whom is he ridding himself? I had visions of Monty Python's King Arthur . . . "Help, help, I'm being repressed!" "Bloody peasant!"

But as a commoner, I'm always curious about royalty's penchant for "ruffing us up."

Now how that relates to poetry to be read, I don't know . . perhaps another act of violence. Anyway, I was reminded of a Jesuit priest who wrote back in the mid-to-late 19th century, a fellow (aristocrat?) called Gerard Manley Hopkins who noted in a lecture at Oxford (where else?) that poetry's worth exists beyond its meaning; its sound serves more than sense. , that could have been Alexander Pope! "Not so when swift camilla scours the plain" as opposed to "When Ajax strives some rock's vast weight to hurl."

Have I rid myself of royal response (other than disdain) after that?

Time for maybe an . OK OK, I know, gratuitous smiley usage.

Good Day ParadigmShift.

Having a title such as Lord, just enables us to get into the best Social panties... OH! I..err.. mean Parties.


Lord Smooth

i second both of those
Lord Preston OMFC

DO'h.. Iv let it slip now.
Everybodys gonna want to become a Lord,
Has nobody though of the consequences?

Lord Smooth