h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

~climbs into the big crocs mouth~

Shade damp in here perhaps

*climbs astride the crocodile*

Where to now, Phil? (sorry, obscure Eddie Izzard quote; possibly only Andrewq Wyld would have a clue what I'm talking about here)

All aboard? Great!

to the water-filled passageway up ahead!

*revs up crocodile*

let's go!

*holds on tight*

~ties himself to a handy tonsel~

Croc speeds through a maze of underground sewars below the pyramid

~then comes out into dazzling daylight~

Weren't we meant to do something inside the pyramid?

were we? nobody (hic) told me (that I can remember).

*the light turns out to be a pure white lantern illuminating a stairway comming out of the water and rising back into the pyramid*

*stops croc*

*jumps accross to stair, trips and falls in water*

blargh help! I'm sobering up! somebody pull me out!

~pulls out Drunken with a barge pole and give him the emergency Bourbon he was hiding from the king~

*glugs at booze*

thankyou, I (hic) cant express my (hic) inhebrated gratitude enough, my bestest (hic) best bets mate, so y'are!

*Attempts another jump, totters perilously on the edge and falls forward onto the steps. The Gap is about 1 foot wide, and the rest of the company manage it with ease*

*picks up bright lantern*

Onward!

*starts walking up the stairs with the aid of his staff*

~trudges after the Drunk like a big surly Boromir after a p**sed up Gandaf in Moria~

*stops where three passages lead in the same direction, one up, one down, and one staright ahead.*

I have no recolection of this place, I must have been at a higher level of drunkenneass when I was last here.

*Pulls out hip-flaks and drains the whisky inside*

Ah! it's that way!

*walks onward and upwards*

To.. well.. whatever awaits us and beyond!

*is a little annoyed that there are no female characters in LoTR in Moria that she can be at this moment. Ah well.*

~Follows drunken~

~mutters~ waste to throw away ~mutters~

this is our version, you can be onse of the female characteurs from any part of the book, so long as you can say the sort of things they say.

and lets forget about the ring- we have a better quest to follow!

yeha, I've had a bit much to drink, our quest shall henceforth be to find a toilet

Do we get to bring our gardeners too then?