h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Nothing to see here! Move along please.

Should you wish something to see, you can visit the Ministry of Wisdom, Linux and Toothbrushes at http://www.h2g2.com/A445385 and take part in the Toothbrush Poll.

Hell! That reminds me! I need to make a Ministry of Science and Technology page!

I don't think you _have_ to. It just seemed like a good idea. Have you participated in the Toothbrush poll?

Not yet, no...I'll go and have a peek now though...

[ jr ]
*mumbling about having to dig around and find books he read long, long, ago, in a universe far, far, away*

* rushes past with piles of paperwork *

*considers doing something useful now he's President, but wisely decides against it*

Where's my secretary?

* rushes back with an even bigger pile of paperwork *

I'm not sure, Mr. President. I came in to get the paperwork for setting up my Ministry and there's nobody here. Odd, that, don't you think?

* bustles off *

*step, slide, lift-leg-high-in-the-air-and-places-it-in-an-impossible-poition-over-his-
head-then-places-it-at-an-extreme-distance-from-his-other-foot, slide, side-step, spin, shuffle jump*

Mr. President, the Ministry of Silly Walks is now open!

*fanfare in his head - d-do-do-dooo*

I'm glad to see that at least one ministry is functioning properly!

Where *is* my secretary? I've got a very large... er... workload... for her in the back room.

Does anyone need a hug? I haven't hugged anyone for a while now.

Aw shucksidoo! I don't think we employed any secretaries

* hurries back again with a large trolley full of papers and books. Some of the visible titles include "Linux in a Nutshell", "Running Linux", "The Art of Toothbrush Design", "Wisdom in 21 Days", "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Dental Care" and "Fifty-Three More Things To Do In Zero Gravity" *

Nobody wants to be a secretary. They all want their own Ministry. Well if they're not willing to put in the work... I don't need a secretary, by the way. Before the flood of offers comes in.

* Rushes off. A book falls off the trolley. As it comes to rest, it is seen to be titled "Men are from Mars, Women are from the Frogstar" by Oolon Colluphid *

If you're throwing some hugs around, I'll be glad to help your predicament

* darts past without time to say anything *

* darts back with a big pile of papers *

* staggers past once more under the weight of a small mountain of promotional Ministry of Wisdom, Linux & Toothbrushes mousemats which are so badly designed that they are impossible to use as a mousemat, let alone look at and admire *

* dumps the "mousemats" into the furnace and watches in satisfaction as they burn *

Right, now it's time to go deal with the fool who designed them.

* pulls a toothbrush from a concealed holder in under his jacket, then, with a supremely dangerous expression on his face, stalks off *

Oh, okay... if you show me your silliest walk.
*hugs Aier*

Awww... great hug!

ok...

*hop, crouch, Jedi-leap and half pike, land on hands, bring legs over opposite sides of the body (left one front, right one back), swing left one back over head to stand upright, crouch into a ducklike position to waddle, stand up, turn in half circle, shuffle jump back to original position, half turn with right leg extended in front, fall onto right foot (both legs still stiff), turn with left leg still in air, step foreward, run in circles making clucking noises and one hand above head like that red think roosters have on the top of their head, stop and begin walking with very long paces and body low over to the drinks cabinet*

mind if I have a drink, Pres.?

*looks on, impressed*
That's an incredibly silly walk. Have you been doing it for a while?

Since... *thoughtfully rubs chin, counts fingers, takes shoes off, counts toes, begins to undo fly and pulls out a rubber chicken, looks in its mouth, snaps fingers*... I was standing next to you. But before that I have been Silly Walking since I could Silly Crawl. My parents thought there was no future, but I pressed on nonetheless... and... whoa... look at me now! *drink sloshes* I'm now a minister of the political variety!

Whats your longest hug? I bet you and Galaxy Babe must get some pretty serious hugging in.

*empties the drink*