h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* staggers past under the weight of fourteen thousand and six stuffed Linux penguins holding toothbrushes and weighty tomes of Wisdom *

Welcome to the cabinet, Corrupt One.

* drops a penguin *

Oh damn...

*picks it up*

Coool! I've always wanted to have a Linux penguin. Can I have it?

Here's a suitable question for you MaW; if you have your wisdom teeth out, do you get less wise?

I don't know. I don't think so, because I had three out about two months ago and I don't feel any less wise. It must be a baseless myth. Yes, you can keep the penguin holding a toothbrush and a book of Wisdom. It would be good for the President to endorse the Ministries anyway, I think. You been to the Sushi Bar yet?

Pingu! Pingu! Pingu!
*starts getting excited*
Mwaaaaarp, Mwaaaaarp!!!
*runs over to look at Peregrins penguin*

*giggles*

* dumps the penguins in his hyper-secure Ministry of Wisdom, Linux & Toothbrushes truck, then returns to fetch sixty thousand, four hundred and two complimentary dental care kits *

*giggles along with Peregrin*
MaW can I have a penguin of my very own please?

* gives Tinkerbell a penguin *

Of course you may. Can I have some more jelly tots?

Soon we'll have the ministers exchanging free gifts... and then haggling for them... eventually we'd have to set up an exchange rate. Two bags of jelly tots for a penguin. Or something.

*giggles some more, to see what it feels like*

How many jelly tots can I have for a hug?

* hands out dental care kits with a penguin motif *

I don't know. Excuse me, I have to go collect fifteen thousand copies of "Elementary Wisdom in Ten Minutes" from the printer's shop.

* departs *

The Ministry of Sitting on Our Backsides and Doing Sod-All is up. It's a little...spartan but I'll have plenty of time to waste making it look nice next week so....

What? You want a link? Fat chance. When it gets good. That's my department for you.

* returns looking flustered *

The printer hasn't finished the books yet. And I was there five minutes late.

* looks to Baldrick *

Does your Ministry run it, by any chance?

When it's run from a couple of Portakabins...there isn't really enough time to run anything. Right now it's just me and Big Evil Dan in there. I'm currently recruiting.

So it's not your fault.

* surreptiously puts away big mallet *

Who's is it then?

Recruiting? You're actually doing something? Excuse me if I don't believe you

I'll add a link to your ministry now if it's up and running...

Do you know who owns the printers' shop, Mr President?

Er... is there a printers shop?

*One of his advisors elbows Peregrin sharply in the ribs*

No, sorry that was me reaching for my free gift Linux Penguin Thanks MaW...I don't know if there's a printers shop but I have a paint by numbers set somewhere

*passes out jelly tots to EV, Peregrin, Maw and Baldrick*
Is it alright for me to encourage new researchers to come and visit my ministry of jelly by bribing errr welcoming them with free jelly?

If you like, but don't confuse them too much