h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Vogon Guard's Aunt]
In my day we knew how to party.
There just isn't the leather there used to be.

[Marvin]

* fetches some nibbles for the mattress *

Honestly, here I am, brain the size of a planet, and I'm fetching nibbles, and me with this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side-

Sorry, am I boring you?

Not at all. Do continue. *sympathy*

[Marvin]

You're lying to me. You're just trying to make me feel better.

That's _so_ depressing.

[Zem the mattress]

*Tries to do a backflip to show off, but only manages to quiver a bit and raise itself off the ground a couple of centimetres*

You're depressed? How interesting!

*assists the flip*

[Marvin]

* becomes lost in a world of his own depression *

[dozer guy]

*attempts to perform CPR on the whale*
*realises his stupidity as he gets sucked into the lungs*

Umm... oops.

[The body debit card for the Wormhole Disco]

* laughs manically *

(I had to be a different character for that as Marvin wouldn't laugh like that)

[Lady Cynthia Fitzmelton]
I say has anyone seen Lord Fitzmelton? I seem to have mislaid him, the gin's gone missing as well.

[Marvin]

Probably went to spend time with someone less depressing than you, Your Ladyship.

[Body Debit Card]

* Debits Lady Cynthia Fitzmelton from her current location, then credits her into the back of the unfortunate sperm whale. Giggles manically *

[Zem the mattress]

*Inexplicably turns into a sliced cucumber*

*Hacks up the dozer guy and spills her ladyship into the vodka pool. Feels better.*



So this is a party? Ooooo!

[Zem the cucumber]

Apparently so.

[the pot of petunias]

Hey...this soil is distinctly...ginny.

*BURP*

[dozer guy]
*dies*
*is digested*

{oh well - time to think up a new costume...}

*the plant dies and decomposes*

[The creature whose ship they stole from the Restauraunt at the End of the Universe]

{The Ravenous Bug-Blatter Beast of Traal}

Raaarrrgghh!!

Can I have a munchie please Marvin?

[Marvin]

You'll only eat me when I come too close.

Life's too depressing for me to mind that much, though. Yes, you can have a nibble.

* walks over with one *

[Body Debit Card]

* giggles insanely, debits a bottle of vodka from the drinks table and credits it into its on-board account *

* hiccups *

[whale]

*dozer guy disagrees with its stomach and it dies. Doesn't stink much, being pickled in vodka. The penguins start picking at the carcass*

[telephone cleaner]

(to Bugblatter Beast) Gosh, you are ugly, aren't you?

[The creature whose ship they stole from the Restauraunt at the End of the Universe]

{A shoebox}

Yes, they are rather ugly creatures, aren't they?