h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Rob McKenna]
Go on then, I'll try anything once.

[Gargravarr's Body]
*Pours a foaming glass of SCC Homebrew, hands it over and goes into a fit of manic laughing*

[Rob McKenna]
*looks very suspicious, but drinks it anyway*

*peers up at the whale excitedly*

Ooh you're very big. (mattresses suffer from the same stupidity as humans do; ie. stating the very obvious all the time)

*falls over, landing rather fortunately on the mattress*

[mattress]

Do you want a massage?

[Marvin]

* walks over to the mattress in a despondent kind of manner *






* stares at it *

[enlisted Vogon guard]
*floats by porthole on other side of ship, looking decidedly disgruntled*

[Marvin]

* continues to stare at Zem with great intensity. A trickle of smoke rises from the mattress, the point on which the robot's gaze falls. *

*squiggles uncomfortably*

[Rob McKenna]
*wakes up* Can you smell burning?

[Marvin]

No. My nose never has worked properly.

* continues to stare intently at the uncomfortably wriggling mattress *

[Gargravarr's Body]
*Still manic laughing*

[Gargravarr]
Someone put something large in his mouth to shut him up.

[whale]

*The whale sloshes up to the side of the pool where the smoldering mattress is laying and douses everyone throughly with pure vodka. It is interesting at this point to speculate on whether or not the mattress would then burst into flames, or would the smoldering spot be smothered. I'll leave it up to you...*

Did you speak to me, little flat being? Did you call me large? I'm not sure what large is. Oh! Sorry! (Gargravarr's Body has gotten a mouthful of the drink, along with a chunk of olive)

*A penguin lands on the mattress.*

[Rob McKenna]
*looks at the penguin*

[Vogon Guard's Aunt]
*Tells her nephew to throw the penguin out of the nearest airlock*

[enlisted Vogon guard]
*now in orbit around the ship*
*can be seen speaking but sound does not carry in vacuum*
*has very angry expression on face, though*

[Marvin]

* vodka splashes all over him. With a kind of whooshing sound, he collapses to the floor and stares at the ceiling. Gradually, a dark spot begins to develop, along with a tiny wisp of smoke... *

[dozer guy]

*absentmindedly drapes a corner of the tablecloth over marvin*
*wanders over and starts petting the whale*

[mattress]

*contentedly soaks up vodka*